Beautiful Princess Rejects Suitor Because She Is Shallow

For some strange reason Princess Leia was totally not into Jabba the Hutt. She had the skimpy bikini thing on for him, he clearly had money, power and bondage equipment, and usually this sort of thing works for a girl. Gosh usually she falls for these sort of guys.The thing where she kissed her brother in Episode IV was simply uncomfortable in retrospect, this was just confusing.
Jabba also has this totally Alpha opening line as well; “soon you will come to appreciate me”. I dare you to try that one on your wife later tonight, trust me, it’s a closer. It’s so powerful it’s illegal in three States and Canada. Just look her in the eye, drop your voice an octave and unload it on her. Rumble a “soon you will come to appreciate me”,and somewhere deep in the female brain the anterior ravishment cortex is going to fire and it’s all on from there. You know it’s working when she dissolves into a fit of giggles. That’s normal, just plough the set and don’t stop for air. If you can keep a straight face, afterwards when you get out of bed and walk to the shower offer a “you have pleased me”.
But I digress… I just have the nagging sensation that the reason Leia didn’t feel attraction for him was that he was the size of a small truck and smelled like the wrong end of a Bantha. (Ok I’m done with Star Wars metaphors for the post, I promise)
So what about you? Maybe Jabba is an extreme metaphor, but the thought holds. You can have a large number of Alpha Male traits – money, power, fancy boats, staff, but being physically in shape is also a major plus as well. Women aren’t as body orientated as men are in terms of what is attractive, but they certainly do look.
What if one of the reasons you don’t have tremendous sex with your wife is that your physical fitness is so low that it’s actively repelling her from you. Oh sure, she can love you no matter what, but that isn’t the same as having a tingle between her legs every time she looks over at you is it.
If you’re over weight , I figure you already know it. And like everybody else, you know there’s really only one basic solution – eat less and exercise more. The only time diet and exercise involves rocket science is on the space shuttle missions.
What you will find is that even moderate exercise has it’s benefits. Specially weight training will benefit. Even losing 10 pounds will result in a surge of good feeling for you and you will feel sexier as well. And like I say – good sex is just a consequence of being sexy. You whining that she never initiates sex is silly if you are clearly not physically attractive. Why would she ask to have sex with you if she finds you unsexy? Queue up the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” speech…
I am by no means some sort of ultra-hunk. I’m a regular guy. But I very much find that my wife responds better to me when I am in the best physical shape I can be. Also usually about 2-3 weeks after I start exercising, she starts as well. So it’s a fun together thing as well. If you’re a natural Sex Rank 7, and fell to a 5 because you employeed Homer Simpson as your personal trainer, and your wife stayed a 7, well you’ve left the front door open a bit wide wouldn’t you think.
If you’ve let yourself go to pot, you sure as hell don’t get all upset and issue demands and ultimatums for more sex right now. That may go very badly for you. What you do is plan ahead and lose the weight.
Personally I find a great starting point for weight loss and strength. You don’t have to turn into the Hulk. Now get to it..

Nice Guys Finish Last

Nice guys finish last. You’ve heard it like a mantra and it’s a cliché because it’s true. Women constantly pass over nice men for jerks, who more often than not mistreat them, and then if the cliché holds true to form, the woman runs back to the nice guy and cries on his shoulder. Tells him he’s a wonderful friend. Meanwhile the poor nice guy is hit with a triple whammy of anger, hard on, and nausea.
My biggest wake up call to this effect happened to me long ago in my college days. My then best friend Andrew and I very obviously started feeling great interest in Julie. And she had some decent interest in both of us, and frankly probably quite enjoyed our attention to her. When boyfriends compete, girlfriends win! My friendship with Andrew was quite long and deep, and in a great moment of mutual respect, we agreed that if one of us dated her, it was going to mess up our friendship.
So like a week later Andrew and Julie are on their third date. The first one happened the very next day after we agreed not to go after her. I was somewhat angry, but at the same time I could see that I had basically been outplayed and had to give him credit. Because of the dates that had already happened, she was into him, and the moment of opportunity for me had passed. Though just as we thought, it did drive a bit of a wedge between me and my friend. About a year later she was crying to me on the phone as the relationship fell apart. Suffice to say, I didn’t offer much assistance in them getting back together. LOL my bad.
Fast forward a few more years, and I meet Jennifer my wife to be. I become unhinged. She’s actually dating someone else and he’s her steady boyfriend. I see her holding hands with him and I hate him. I refuse to even say his name in anything other than distain even now 18 years later. Primal reaction. Deal with it people.
Things are going a little less than perfectly between them, and I work that angle fairly firmly. I make it plain that I think he’s a jerk, he doesn’t seem to be good for her, and she’d be better off with a nice man. Which in retrospect is funny in that my words were “hey I’m the nice guy you should be with”, but my actions were actually pure jerk. She laps it up.
Anyway four days later they break up. And I’m right there. Funny that. Then we have five wonderful days together. Riding the rollercoaster at Knoebels I look across at her and I just gape at her. She looks back at me with her long blonde hair flying all over the place, and there’s this odd small smile. (Then we say goodbye and basically live in separate countries for three years, but that’s going to derail the post…)
The point is, if I had been nice, I would have never had married Jennifer. I would have just seen a pretty girl with a not so great boyfriend bugging her and done nothing of interest. Being nice is a very important aspect of your personality, having no nice in you just means you’re an asshole. Adding in a little of the jerk / Alpha Male trait is the key to building attraction though.
At some point in your courtship, you likely did something that was a little crazy, a little wild, something over the top that made your wife to be sit up and take notice of you. Maybe all it was happened to be fronting up to her, and making it plain being just friends with her wasn’t an option you where going to be able to live with.
Marriage can easily fall into a rut. When was the last time you made it plain being “just friends” still isn’t an option you can live with? That you want a passionate connection to her. Make sure she knows with her you have no half-way. If you don’t do this to her at least once in a while, you leave the door open for someone else to do it to her. Emotional connections are serious things and sometimes not even your best friend can be trusted with the woman you love. Do not let the moment pass.
Just don’t phrase it in the form of a question to her. Make a statement.

The Basics Part 5: What Is Sexy Is…

Here’s evolutionary psychology in a nutshell… What is sexy is anything that is good for making or raising babies.
This is the most fundamental rule to understand sex with. Everything that is sexually attractive can eventually be boiled down to this one thought.
Fit healthy bodies are sexy – because they pass on good genes to the baby.
Beauty is sexy – because beauty is an indicator of health.
Youth is sexy – because younger people make healthier babies.
Rich is sexy – because all that money is money that can be spent on raising baby.
A house is sexy – because baby will have somewhere safe to live.
Smart is sexy – because baby will be smarter and better taught.
Good with kids is sexy – because an active father is good for raising baby.
Foreigners are sexy – because cross breeding passes on better immune systems to baby.
Bigger boobs are sexy – because the women with them are more fertile and have a better chance of having a baby.
A woman with a 0.7 waist to hip ratio is sexy – because it is a key indicator of the likelihood of a full term pregnancy and delivery of a baby.
Tall is sexy – because it shows good health and nourishment and will mean baby is likely to be healthier and fed.
Listening is sexy – because it means you can communicate and form social bonds which means you’ll probably stick around to raise baby.
Fidelity is sexy – because it means you won’t spend your time and money on other women and not this woman’s baby.
Lots of semen is sexy – because that stuff just rocks for making babies.
Strong is sexy – because sometimes you need to move something heavy to improve life for baby.
Courage is sexy – because sometimes baby has to be defended from predators.
Preselection is sexy – because if other women are interested in a man, it’s probably because he’s really sexy.
I’ll say it again… What is sexy is anything that is good for making or raising babies.
Lets face it. Babies are like Kyptonite to women. You just know that the guy playing with the baby in the video below got totally laid that night.
 In fact just playing this video within earshot of your wife will probably increase your chances of getting laid tonight. But maybe cover these words with your hand, or scroll the page just right so she can’t see them… at first. 
If she comes over and watches, don’t forget to reach out and touch her. Play it just before bedtime and make a move to close the deal. You’re welcome.

Sexy Moves: The Ten Second Kiss

Here’s a simple move to rock her world. It’s called “The Ten Second Kiss”. I’m sure you’ve figured out the basic concept already, but what the hell, I’m gonna pad out the post anyway.
It’s so easy to get in a rut with each other, and fall away from the feeling of being passionate lovers, to friendly roommates. The friendly roommates road just leads to bad sex at best, but more likely affairs and divorce. The Ten Second Kiss brings that feeling back instantly. Ten seconds is actually quite a long time, specially if your intimacy has been cut down to 0.1 second pecks in passing. Peck, peck, peck. It’s like you’re eight years old and trying to evade an ugly aunt or something, but she’s going to box you in until she gets it. Come kiss your auntie! MUAH! And the taste of cigarettes and your nausea overwhelm you.
Ok… maybe that’s just my childhood trauma talking or something, but the principle holds. All those kisses that amount to a peck in passing, does nothing to light the fires. For either of you.
If the routine is new to her, just walk up to her and say… “It’s being so long since we kissed. I mean really really kissed. I want to kiss for ten seconds, but I do have one rule…”
She’s pretty much forced to ask, “what’s that?”
Then you say, and it’s very important you do this with a cocky smile and keeping it light and fun as possible, “you have to pretend to like it.”
She should laugh and say “ok” or something similar. Then you hold her and lean in for the kiss. When you lean in to kiss her, go 90% of the way in and hold position, making her come the final 10% of the distance to you. This engages her into the kiss rather that it being something that she can passively accept happening to her. We’re creating emotional engagement here. It’s also a highly confident approach, which most women find very sexy. It means you aren’t scared of her not responding to her. This is a fairly Alpha Male move in that the underlying message is “I know you will respond to me”.
Then hold the kiss, for all ten seconds. If she breaks it off early, lightly tell her off, “that wasn’t ten seconds, come back here and do it right”. Then repeat it until you get a full ten seconds. This again is Alpha Male goodness in that you are asserting yourself and not letting her evade you. Don’t go in trying to cop a feel either, you’re kissing her. If you’re hard, it’s perfectly fine if she if she feels it. Just don’t go into a stupid “A Frame” hug stance, instead press against her, letting her know that she is affecting you. You’re just not trying to convert this into sex for the moment. If you try and do that she will try and defend against it in that she may not want sex just that second. But if you don’t try and close for sex, there’s nothing to defend against, so her guard will come down and she will let you “in” emotionally.
What you will find is that somewhere around the 6-8 second mark, her shields come down, and something inside her will trigger and she will become quite passionate about the interaction. Feel free to keep the kiss going on as long as you both want. Also you will find the long deep kiss will not only trigger passionate interest in her, but also in you. It is very difficult to stay emotionally neutral about a member of the opposite sex when you kiss like this.
The beauty of The Ten Second Kiss, is that it works every time. You can do this once a day and it will connect you both again. Importantly, don’t automatically try and turn this into an attempt to close for sex. Kiss her like this, make some small talk, and move on with your day. The goal is to connect you both emotionally. Once emotionally connected to you, your woman is far more interested in sex.

Why Monogamy Rocks!

Most women have an emotional commitment to being monogamous (if only in marriage), and are offended that their husbands struggle with feeling good about the idea of it. The husband may not cheat, but they don’t feel good about monogamy. I’ve got the answer for you… the truth is that most men do much better in a monogamous culture, than a polygamous one.

Most men have a desire to have sex with more than one woman… ok… ideally lots of women. Ok… ALL of them if possible! After all, a man can easily have sex with hundreds of women in a single year and impregnate them all if he was lucky, and then take a nap as the women raised the kids by themselves. There is a natural resistance to the idea in the minds of men that they should limit themselves to just a single woman. Men are wired to be fairly promiscuous by nature.

Women on the other hand, have a huge investment in bearing and raising children. She gets only a few good shots at getting this done, so she is wired to be far more choosey about partners. A common misconception is that women are wired to be “good girls” and interested in only monogamy. However what they are actually most interested in, is hypergamy, or as better known, “marrying up”. Women want the best partners they can have.

In a purely monogamous society, as I said earlier equal sex rank couples form. 10s with 10s, 9s with 9s. It looks like this…

However in a polygamous society, there are no rules that limit a high Sex Rank male gaining access to more than one female, and females are not limited to the highest Sex Ranked unmarried male available. So in a polygamous society, the marriages may look something like this;

As you can see, the top dog male does really well with lots of women, and second place does pretty well, but with two less sexy women than he would have had otherwise. Every other male does significantly worse than they would in a monogamous society. The bottom men get no hope for sex at all!

Also what tends to happen in polygamous societies, is that without the rules of one man, one woman, competition between men becomes increasingly fierce, and often will easily turn from the common showing off and jostling for position in a monogamous society, to deadly violence or harsh social control. Male Sex Rank is more heavily weighted towards Alpha traits in a polygamous society than Beta traits. Personally my stronger suit is the Beta traits, so in an aggressive polygamous culture (like a High School LOL) I would have a lower Sex Rank, than in a monogamous culture where defending myself from thugs is a lesser concern.

Apart from periodically having your current husband killed from random violence, and having other men move in aggressively on you, most women do better in polygamous societies than they would in monogamous ones. Sometimes it’s better to be the third wife of a super rich guy, than the only wife of a poor man. You’ll probably get less sex, but the guys will be hotter. Which probably appeals to some women. However your sons will probably die before you see grandkids from them, and you’ll probably be raped a lot. So it’s really only “better” on a mathematical level. (Your mileage may vary!)

Bringing it home to me on a personal level, is that I’m probably overall about an 8 in Sex Rank. If we lived in a polygamous society, I’d probably be a 5 or a 6, and my sweet Jennifer wouldn’t be married to me. She’s probably be the third wife of some guy with ass loads of money. And if she did decide to marry me for love… I’d probably just get stabbed by an angry 2 with nothing to lose and I’d die watching her be raped. More likely Jennifer just wouldn’t have even given me the time of day, and I’d be excited to be married to a lunch lady twelve years older than me who lost her first husband by being stabbed by an angry 2.

As I’m quite fond of Jennifer, and detest being stabbed…I’m leaning towards monogamy as a good thing.