Sexy Moves: The Ten Second Kiss

Here’s a simple move to rock her world. It’s called “The Ten Second Kiss”. I’m sure you’ve figured out the basic concept already, but what the hell, I’m gonna pad out the post anyway.
It’s so easy to get in a rut with each other, and fall away from the feeling of being passionate lovers, to friendly roommates. The friendly roommates road just leads to bad sex at best, but more likely affairs and divorce. The Ten Second Kiss brings that feeling back instantly. Ten seconds is actually quite a long time, specially if your intimacy has been cut down to 0.1 second pecks in passing. Peck, peck, peck. It’s like you’re eight years old and trying to evade an ugly aunt or something, but she’s going to box you in until she gets it. Come kiss your auntie! MUAH! And the taste of cigarettes and your nausea overwhelm you.
Ok… maybe that’s just my childhood trauma talking or something, but the principle holds. All those kisses that amount to a peck in passing, does nothing to light the fires. For either of you.
If the routine is new to her, just walk up to her and say… “It’s being so long since we kissed. I mean really really kissed. I want to kiss for ten seconds, but I do have one rule…”
She’s pretty much forced to ask, “what’s that?”
Then you say, and it’s very important you do this with a cocky smile and keeping it light and fun as possible, “you have to pretend to like it.”
She should laugh and say “ok” or something similar. Then you hold her and lean in for the kiss. When you lean in to kiss her, go 90% of the way in and hold position, making her come the final 10% of the distance to you. This engages her into the kiss rather that it being something that she can passively accept happening to her. We’re creating emotional engagement here. It’s also a highly confident approach, which most women find very sexy. It means you aren’t scared of her not responding to her. This is a fairly Alpha Male move in that the underlying message is “I know you will respond to me”.
Then hold the kiss, for all ten seconds. If she breaks it off early, lightly tell her off, “that wasn’t ten seconds, come back here and do it right”. Then repeat it until you get a full ten seconds. This again is Alpha Male goodness in that you are asserting yourself and not letting her evade you. Don’t go in trying to cop a feel either, you’re kissing her. If you’re hard, it’s perfectly fine if she if she feels it. Just don’t go into a stupid “A Frame” hug stance, instead press against her, letting her know that she is affecting you. You’re just not trying to convert this into sex for the moment. If you try and do that she will try and defend against it in that she may not want sex just that second. But if you don’t try and close for sex, there’s nothing to defend against, so her guard will come down and she will let you “in” emotionally.
What you will find is that somewhere around the 6-8 second mark, her shields come down, and something inside her will trigger and she will become quite passionate about the interaction. Feel free to keep the kiss going on as long as you both want. Also you will find the long deep kiss will not only trigger passionate interest in her, but also in you. It is very difficult to stay emotionally neutral about a member of the opposite sex when you kiss like this.
The beauty of The Ten Second Kiss, is that it works every time. You can do this once a day and it will connect you both again. Importantly, don’t automatically try and turn this into an attempt to close for sex. Kiss her like this, make some small talk, and move on with your day. The goal is to connect you both emotionally. Once emotionally connected to you, your woman is far more interested in sex.


  1. Our Heroine says

    Athol, one third possibility that you may not have considered is that the person initiating the Ten Second Kiss (in this case, the husband) is a Really. Bad. Kisser. My own husband falls into that category. I love him, I find him dead sexy, and I’m not looking elsewhere – but he’s just a terrible, cold fish, slobbery kisser. I often wind up with buckets of saliva in my mouth from his “sexy” kisses, and I’d rather he just skipped them and went right to the sex!

    Don’t get me wrong, I would love some Ten, Twenty, Thirty-and-More-Second Kissing from him, but not under current conditions. So basically, I’m in agreement with you, it’s probably bad breath, or some other structural issue.

    By the way, any thoughts from the viewers at home on how to encourage sexier kissing?

  2. John says

    I just found this site, thought it was interesting and picked up the primer. Read most of it and started putting some things into practice. I started with the 10 second kiss. Totally broke the ice that had built up between us. Now I have my chance to make things better between us, this puts the spark back, but building the fire seems more alone the lines of the MAP. Working on it!

  3. says

    Heroine – Any chance you’ve broached the subject with him? Instead of saying he’s a bad kisser, possibly position it as you’d like to try kissing a different way, wondering if he’s game? My wife had to do that with me, and while it was really frustrating, I did come to realize that I wasn’t interested in being right, I was interested in being right for her and worked on changing the things I was doing that she didn’t like.

  4. casper says

    what sexy move will work on a 40yr old woman who has lost ALL libido? we used to be great kissers but now I think she would dodge a lip kiss. hugs, as frequent as I give them, are met with stiff shoulders and hands at her side.

    If she’s truly lost all libido – none of them will work. You need to get her to the doctor first.


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