As I’ve said before I’m a pretty regular guy with a full time job, wife, kids and the house. I’m quite determined not to turn this into one of those whining about your day mommy blogs, or a blog about blogging. There are quite enough of those to go around.
Still it’s good to reflect on things once in a while and sit down for a second and admire the view. I’ve been at this just on two months and cracking 23,000 visitors in that time has been quite pleasing. Plus more importantly 91 people following by either Feed readers or Google Friend Connect. I’m honored and very thankful to see for a lack of better words… a fan base.
Mostly these first two months were just intended to be content creation. If I’d had 1000 visits and 10 people following the feed, I would have been quite ok with that. I’ve done 50 posts, and if you take away the around 10 or so very short ones, that’s 40 posts of around 800 or so words each, or around 32,000 words… roughly a 90 page non-fiction paperback. Not a bad start. The long term goal is definitely to head towards book completion though that’s a process getting there. At some point this does have to have a financial payday as that would be wife pleasing and anything requiring this much effort needs to become self-supporting or it will ultimately fail by exhausting me. So books are an obvious product.
The other goal is that readers get helped. Marriage is great or at least it’s great when the marriage itself is actually great. When it all falls apart the fallout is extreme. I’m obviously holding out better sex as the motivating piece of cheese to draw male attention, but ultimately my methodology to get that is to advise men to be better husbands and men in general. There has to date not been a single negative female comment of the “you suck” variety on the blog. Wives really like what I’m saying, despite the fact that I’m teaching husbands how to game the panties off them. I’m that on target.
I’ve got the standard Google Analytics stuff running behind the scenes. I get a lot of in and out readers who bounce after a few seconds. No biggie, that’s normal. What is exciting though is I can also see some people coming and staying on the site for over half an hour reading page after page. And some people coming back to the site again and again.
You’re welcome. Thank you. It’s for you guys. Keep coming, and I’ll keep the content coming. When the book comes out buy a copy to say thanks if I helped you any. And when I say “book” I mean “book”, not a $79 e-book that’s 32 pages long. I mean something you can buy on Amazon.com and turn pages on. A book. A frakking book.
So anyway, I got a couple questions for the lurkers…
1. What areas have I covered that most interested you?
2. What else would you like me to cover or answer?
3. As an author, I’m generally keeping a low profile in the content. This has been a blog about “sex and marriage” rather than about “Athol Kay”. Understanding I’m not going to bitch about my day or throw photos of my wife’s ass on the Internet… How much more of me, or us, do people want to see on the blog?
Also tomorrow I’ll be going over the blogroll and dropping the blogroll widget for ye olde static links to other sites. It makes no sense that a blog like In Mala Fide who actually sends me traffic gets punted off the blogroll widget by posts from blogs that never send me traffic. If you want in now would be a good time to leave a comment to alert me to your presence as I do housekeeping.
Anyway… enough slacking, I’m not being paid to believe in the power of my dreams. See you all tomorrow.
Men are often worried about the size of their penis. It’s obviously a prominent part of the anatomy and eye catching in majesty. Yet it’s rather like getting excited over the length of the barrel of a gun. Ooooh so big. Yet the penis is simply a delivery system for the more important thing – semen.
The purpose of men in a strict biological sense is to be walking semen factories. Each day a healthy male will make millions of sperm. This is why teenage boys lean on everything and can hardly stand. Making 100 million sperm before breakfast is work. Women coast on juggling a single – maybe two – eggs a month which just seems lazy by comparison.
So the goal is to ejaculate as much as possible into a fertile female and make a baby. Interestingly you cannot fool your own body. Your Body Agenda knows the difference between masturbation and sexual intercourse; Wikipedia
“Sperm samples obtained via sexual intercourse contain 70-120% more sperm, with sperm having a slightly higher motility and slightly more normal morphology, compared with sperm samples obtained via masturbation. Sexual intercourse also generates an 25-45% increase in ejaculate volume, mainly by increased prostate secretion.”
Likewise when a woman has sex, it’s not just for physical pleasure or emotional intimacy, it’s also her Body Agenda seeking good quality semen. If she gets good quality semen she is going to like going back to that supplier. Give her bad or low quality semen and she won’t like that supplier nearly as much. She won’t on a rational level be able to determine much about the semen, but her Body Agenda will be able to know and she will just discover an increase or decrease in sexual feeling towards the man with good or bad semen. This is why women can get literally addicted to a lover easily. The lover is going to be extremely excited and dump a huge supply of sperm into her. Her Body Agenda will just lap that up and increase her attraction for him. This is why really don’t advise playing with the Hotwife Lifestyle, that can be a fast one way trip that ends up with her leaving you either in body or in spirit. Yeah I know she’s not cheating if you’re there watching trying not to shake the camcorder too much, but it’s also not cheating if she divorces you and moves in with him either. It just sucks like a Dyson.
“Safe sex seems to be quite different from great sex, as researchers discovered that women who do not use condoms when they have sex are less vulnerable to depression and less likely to attempt suicide compared to women who practice sex with condoms and women that are sexually inactive…The research made on 293 college women also discovered that those females who did not use condoms were the most prone to initiate sex and to actively look for new partners when their relationship ended. “These women are more vulnerable to the rebound effect, which suggests that there is a chemical dependency,” said Gallup.Semen is known to contain several hormones like testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins, which can pass through the vagina’s walls into the bloodstream and elevate mood.”
Or reading between the lines…grumpy chicks really do just need to get laid.
Semen quantity is also important. This is just so basic I don’t think I even need to dredge up a scientific link, lets just go to porn viewing enjoyment. When you see a movie and you get to the cumshot, and the guy basically does a little dribble and some half-hearted pulses don’t you feel (even as a guy) disappointed? And don’t you far more enjoy watching bigger streams of the white stuff arcing out? So imagine how a woman’s Body Agenda reacts to that happening inside her vagina… yeah baby. Let’s just say that Firemen are sexy and be done with it.
I have a few more posts on this topic coming up, but physical exercise and good diet are going to be the essence of everything to come. Garbage in, garbage out.
The very serious point is that in a marriage you better be damn sure what you’re pumping into your wife is good quality semen. If it’s good stuff you’re going to be pumping her full of happiness and increased sex drive. If it’s bad, you’re going to be literally poisoning your wife against you.
Lest anyone forget – sex is first and foremost about making babies. I don’t mean to sound like a one eyed family values crazy here, I’m just telling you what the whole thing has been designed for. As I’ve said before, what is sexy is anything that is good for making or raising babies.
As guys we’re pretty on top of what our role is in the making babies department. We make sperm and semen and basically attempt to get as much as possible of the baby batter into the vagina of a female. The female side of the equation is a little more complex. There’s two complete medical specialties devoted to the female plumbing and what happens inside there, while the male plumbing just gets lumped in with urology.
Most men see women as being somewhat random and confusing. They might be all shiny and happy about climbing into bed, or grumping mood swings, or calm and willing to please but not obviously turned on, or they can be menstruating and shut down the store completely. It’s not random though, it’s a predictable monthly cycle.
The first day of their menses marks the first day of the cycle. Menses can last 3-7 days. Most women aren’t feeling all that sexy during menstruation and honestly who can blame them. My advice is to use this time productively and get some of the items on the to do list completed. Make sure you have items like hand jobs and coming all over her breasts on the list though. Notice how much better you feel about yourself when you get things done. It’s energizing.
Ovulation can happen at any point from day 7 through 15 or 16. Typically it hits on day 13, 14, 15. Pretty much from the time her menses stops, her sex drive is going to be active, but around ovulation itself she is going to feel a surge in sexual interest. This is when she is most likely to; experience orgasms, want multiple orgasms, be the wettest, cheat on you and generally seek raw dog Alpha Male pounding. My strong suggestion is that you supply it. This is the grab a handful of hair time and just tell her what to do.
This is when she is most likely to suddenly decide she wants to “go to a club, just to dance”… this is why so much of the Alpha Male orientated game works on women for PUA. It doesn’t really work on women in general, but it does work on ovulating women in specific.
After ovulation sexual interest tends to drop. Around day 21 of her cycle the infamous mood swings and drama from PMS can start up. The uncomfortable and bloated feelings generally continue until menstruation starts. Pulling her hair and bossing her about will likely prove counter productive. Leg shaving behavior decreases this week. These are great times to pro-actively up your Beta Male skill game, these are good nights to offer to cook, do that extra errand, need a backrub? It’s a fine line to walk, but do cater to her because she isn’t feeling the greatest, but don’t cater to temper tantrums – those need to be addressed, or they will get worse and worse over the years. Men aren’t allowed to use “hormones” as a defense for bad behavior and neither should women. Sorry your honor, the testosterone made me do it.
Also PMS is another reason to add to Assanova’s on why you shouldn’t wait 3-4 days to call a girl back. If you really click in the club when she’s just coming off her ovulation sexual activation, waiting too long is moving further away from that sexually excited feeling and heading closer and closer to PMS. Maybe this is why she didn’t seem very excited to get your call. You’re just playing hard to get anything.
Generally all the sexual attempts for the smart husband during the month should be all purpose mutual satisfaction, but around ovulation it is very important to make her feel desired. This is when the just why don’t you rip my clothes off and take me gene kicks in.
My wife is on birth control pills, so her cycle is very stable. I take some colored highlighters and mark on my day planner her menses, ovulation and PMS for months in advance. Just a gentle swipe of the pen to mark the days. Day 1-3 (Tue-Thur) menses (pink), Day 13-17 (Mon-Fri) Ovulation (yellow), Day 20-22 (Mon-Wed) PMS (blue). (That’s PMS emotional symptoms. Physical symptoms of bloating et al continue until menses) As it is with this system, I generally know my wife’s cycle better than she does. If anyone asks about the highlighter marks, I just say none of your business.
Now… for the single guys.
If you can discover when your target is having either her PMS spike or her menstrual flow, she has also by default told you when her ovulation is, just do the math. Ovulation basically comes exactly two weeks after her menses starts. If you can also determine if she is on birth control pills her menses will most likely start on a Tuesday as almost all birth control packs sync and start the pills on a Sunday and force the menses to a Tuesday start. So therefore ovulation will also start on a Tuesday (+/- 1 day, but Tuesday is a good bet) And if this a special girl you’re looking to breakdown, I’d set a date for the fclose attempt on a Tuesday that she is ovulating. This is the day to go for a serious Friendzone breakout as well.
Also a Tuesday date emotionally says “I’m interested and want to spend some of my regular time with you”. Which is… true.
*Edit* Note that if she is on birth control control pills, she cannot actually ovulate. That’s what the pills are designed to stop. The birth control pills will tend to flatten out the peaks and valleys in sexual interest somewhat, or possibly even diminish sexual interest across the cycle as a whole. It’s still useful to know the part of the cycle where she has greater interest, but it’s not as dramatic as for a woman not on birth control pills. They certainly still experience PMS lol. Overall though, maybe not quite as useful as I had thought. Welcome to the Interwebs, all your mistakes are now public.
I have no intent to turn this blog into a whining about my day missive, but today was 13 hours prepping for State inspection tomorrow. So kinda burned and just want to hang out with my wife and catch up. The Ovulation Game promised yesterday will have to wait another 24 hours.
That being said… here’s an easy sexy move.
When you kiss, if she has jeans with front pockets, simply slide a finger or two into the front pockets and gently pull her into you as you kiss. It kind of locks her into you and is controlling and dominant, but with a minimum of force. Plus you metaphorically have your hands in her pants. Oh yeah.
When the kiss breaks… pull her back to you and kiss a few seconds more. Keep it playful in a “I’m not done with you” mood.
If she’s recently lost a little weight, you can mix this up a tad and just slide your hand down the back of her pants (which will be fitting a little looser) and under the panties and cup her ass. Then you compliment her… eyes.
Another possible move is telling her to put her arms around your neck or even placing them there. It’s telling her what to do (giggity) and makes her breasts lift up and rub against your chest better. Personally I like that feeling.
Ok here we go on the answer to yesterday’s question of “which one is ovulating?” Here’s the picture again just in case you missed it. Clicking on it pops it out and will be very important of one of my observations.
The key point to understand is that ovulation lasts only a few days, usually not more than two, and is the highest point of sexual interest for a woman. Even quite low sex drive women can perk up and mew for sexual attention during ovulation. It’s when a woman is most likely to cheat on a partner, they are more likely to orgasm and in plain simple terms when they like sex the roughest.
However unlike most primates a human female has a concealed ovulation. By which we mean her ass doesn’t turn bright red and leech the aroma of lust into the air. Human females are biologically programmed from The Time Before Writing to purposely confuse the male as to when they are fertile. Therefore the male has to stick around the female all the time in order to successfully impregnate her. And while he’s hanging around, he may as well do The Time Before Writing equivalent of mowing the lawn and fixing the sink. Otherwise the male would just bang the female two days a month and then go drinking with his buddies the other 26 days of the month. Or just work on his cave paintings (which the female thinks will never sell.)
Also the female is usually just as tricked as the male by ovulation being concealed. They don’t wake up in the morning thinking “oh wow, I’m ovulating, I’m going to need the CFM heels and a brazilian wax”, they just wake up and think “ooooh I want to wear the red dress today, I feel great”. This is why women struggling to have a baby wander around taking their temperature half the month waiting for the sudden increase in body heat signaling it’s time to make the donuts.
So anyway… here we go.
The easy answer is the one in the white dress on the far right. It’s almost comical. Here’s the list of things I came up with showing probable ovulation.
1. More exposed skin.
2. No shoes – if a date shells her shoes in your house, she’s interested.
3. The open legged stance, everyone else has crossed legs “defending the pussy”, she’s open legged “open for business”.
4. Sunglasses dangling. Women tend to play with things to draw attention to themselves when sexually interested.
5. Hair pulled back or up. This shows more of the neck area which is a sensual and submissive display as the neck is a sensitive area.
6. Head tilt is more downward. Again, this is a submissive display.
7. If you pop the picture out and look carefully… she appears to be purposely displaying a left hand without a wedding / engagement ring. It’s too subtle for 98% of men, but this is a scream for attention that “I’M AVAILABLE”.
8. Also most of the others have a defensive arm placement across their breasts or lap. No entry sorry.
9. There’s not much to see, but relative to the others she is showing cleavage.
10. She has no panties on. I can’t tell you how I know this because a gentleman never kisses and tells. Just trust me. They smell wonderful.
So anyway, she’s all pretty much a caricature of “I am woman, gimme more”. Lets pretend she doesn’t exist in the picture anymore. If we ditch the lady in white, the far more real world version of “I’m ovulating” is the one in the middle. Most women do not blatantly change their dress code from “demure angel” 26 days a month to “slutzilla” for 2 days a month. They generally stick to their basic appearance, but they just up the effort slightly.
The one in the middle just has a slightly more open body language the way she is sitting. She looks playfully instigating as opposed to defensive and haughty. Her dress is still a pretty dress, but it’s more feminine and eye catching. There’s more exposed skin and neck line, just not a whole ton more. It’s subtle but there. If questioned “so are you ovulating?”, she can just look offended and say, “I just wanted to wear this dress silly”. And she’s all defended from being called a slut.
But you Mr Rude Boy. You know the song she’s singing and you know how to lead this dance. Two nights only. Go.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you how to use a calendar and your wifes birth control pills to figure out her ovulation down to within about a day. Honestly this stuff is LMAO easy to do. Or for single guys how to turn a small bottle of Advil into the stealth information to crack out of the friendzone.
You can click on it to pop it out and get a better view.
More interestingly… why did you make your choice?
Ah the Stay At Home Mother. Rosy cheeked children in clean clothes. Happy husband greeted at the door with a fresh application of lipstick and the smell of dinner. I admit it, I want that, sounds wonderful. But just like a Disney vacation it’s for most of us just a pleasant fantasy experience rather than something you can actually afford.
Back in the 1950s it was possible for a regular guy to hold a job that could support a family alone, and there was enough physical labor in the home to require a “full time employee” doing the stuff in the house. As women entered the workforce in greater and greater numbers, it actually flooded the labor market with an oversupply of labor and devalued the average workers paycheck. Loosely speaking the same sort of job in 1950 that would have supported a family, supports about half a family today. So back in the 1960s and 1970s and even 1980s, a woman entering the workforce was all about “choice for women”, but by 2010 there is no real choice for women anymore as if they don’t get a freaking job and work it the same way a man has to, the family will go…
Imagine you’re a humble 6 married to a 7 and the sex life is mediocre at best. Then you stumble onto Married Man Sex Life and discover the basic principles I cover and put them into action.
You work out, are nicer at home, earn a little more money, dress better, play with the kids and so on. When you go from a 6 to a 7 everything is great and the sex life gets better. So you keep plowing ahead and continue to develop yourself further. When you hit Sex Rank 8, the sex at home starts getting really good. You wife loves the new you and can’t help but respond to you.
Then comes the test. Failing this test will probably undo everything you’ve done to improve things with your wife in one easy move.
I’m very much enjoying writing the blog, but I also still hang out at Talk About Marriage. Here’s a few random splatters of what I’ve said over there recently. No particular plan, just letting fly…
You are implying that I said there was a direct causal relationship, when I have always been clear that it was simply an influence in the possiblity of such behavior. That being said, in general yes – deny your partner enough of the sort of sex they are interested in, and yes the likelihood of them straying increases. I believe that is just common sense. I realize that my viewpoint and insistence of being sexually satisfied makes me an asshole. But I am a very happily sexed asshole with a very happily sexed wife.
What To Do?
50% of a successful pick up is reading a woman’s IOIs (Indicators of Interest) and just physically escalating the physical touch at that point, and… doh! Wrong place for this.
Pregnant Fiance= No Bachelor Party?
Who the hell gets married while you’re in the middle of counseling?!?!? THAT’S A RED FLAG PEOPLE.
Fathering your kid is one issue, marrying a screetchtard is another.
Go play a round of golf. Think about things.
And lets face it… most men’s groups at church are actually feminized to hell. They sit, and talk about feelings, and hug, and emote. All it needs is cucumber sandwiches and nicely dressed dolls and you have the complete set. They are no place for a man.
Vibrators and desensitization
Everyone tells you that things that cause sexual pleasure are bad for you. Vibrators are fine. Just be careful not to chip a tooth…
I caught my husband looking at porn twice while I was pregnant
1. He loves you.
2. He watches porn quite a lot
3. You are being silly.
If you want a man that doesn’t watch porn, you going to have to go on a very long search. You probably won’t find most non-porn guys all that emotionally balanced or attractive. Or into women.
Only if you think you can take him in a physical fight.
Not saying it’s going to go down that way, but two males talking about a female they both are competing for sexually can regress to some of the more basic biological ass whooping programming.
Hey… just ask me a question. I’ll have a crack at it.