If you do nothing else to improve your sex life with your wife, and I mean if you do nothing else, you should work out. Some sort of physical exercise is just foundational to most all the Alpha Male Traits. It’s awfully difficult to radiate that sexy confidence of beastly power when you’re hooked up to an oxygen tank to keep you from passing out.
Well… unless of course you have like 3-4 huge thugs in your employ that would happily rip the arms off intruders and be more emotionally disturbed by the fact that the Chinese takeout was now somewhat cold. If you have those guys working for you in your underground lair, you can probably pull off the oxygen tank and a wheelchair to boot and still be quite alpha in your presentation.
But you – and me – are regular guys. The brawn we supply is all the brawn she’ll ever get. And if she can’t get it from you, where can she get it from? If the only thing Brawny she gets to hold in her hands is a roll of paper towels, that’s a problem. Oh sure, I know, not your sweet angel, she can’t possibly think like that…
…ever looked at the covers of romance novels? These are not World of Warcraft player bodies they have plastered across the covers. I believe the word we are looking for is “strapping”. There are strapping men on the covers of romance novels, usually doing some sort of HNT (Half Naked Tuesday? Half Naked Thursday? Have No Top?) impression displaying their brawn and looking serious and manly and not making particular eye contact but just gazing yonder.
Apparently chicks buy these novels all the time. Those strapping guys aren’t there by accident. (Notice how I keep saying the word “strapping”, I’m building SEO in the hope that some submissive BDSM chicks are going to Google “strapping” and get sucked into the blog lol.)
…work out. You don’t have to turn yourself into a Chippendale Dancer, just be a physically put together version of you. I know I’m not going to turn into an Olympic athlete, and neither are you. Just work out regularly.
Listen… she married you. She’s already into you. She’s already sexually responsive to you. She’s probably just drawn to you by sense of smell because your genes and her genes match up well. Far more likely than not, she’s already set up on a biological level that she has no rational control over to be in love with you and attracted to you. The same way you are into her. Exercise and general fitness and health just make that entire aspect of your relationship click. The deck is already stacked in your favor with her physically. You might be quite average physically, but you probably aren’t average to her perception of you. “There’s just something about him”.
But you can completely blow that natural advantage by being in bad shape. Half the time she’s ticked about something minor it’s just symptom of lack of sexual interest in you. If you’re a strapping (giggty) version of you, you really think the way you stacked the dishwasher is going to be quite the same drama as it would be if you were a pasty weakling version of you? No way in hell, not if her gina tingle gets a vote.
So get rid of some of the bad pounds, and put on some of the good ones. Stand taller, live longer, come harder. Don’t love being on the bottom, because you don’t have the upper body strength to be on top.
For what’s it’s worth, this is one of my weaker areas as a guy. As I’ve said before I naturally lean to Beta, and I’m picking up steam on my Alpha Traits. But I know I’m right about this and am working on it. You know I’m right too. Please tell your story in the comments.