So yesterday I made my case for not asking your wife for sex, but for coming up with a plan for the bedtime activities and simply stating it as your intention. As I said yesterday, this is designed to switch things from her trying to decide for an unknown sexual romp, and into deciding against a known sexual romp.
Let me expand that a little – we are all creatures of habit, and overwhelmed with choices in our daily life. 9 times out of 10 when faced with a decision, most people will just go along with the flow and do what everyone else is doing, or revert back to a pre-planned “default choice” so they don’t have to think. Most people when they go into a McDonalds or Starbucks etc order the same exact thing every time. They don’t think for more than a tenth of a second, just front up to the counter and order the default choice. Heck some places your default choice is so well known, the counter staff don’t even let you have a choice, they just see you come through the door and they start making your default choice for you. Here’s your medium low-fat cappuccino with a dusting of cinnamon and a swizzle stick ma’am… just the way you like it.
So when you’re asking her for sex, she’s deciding whether or not to say “yes”, the default choice is more of a “no”. When you’re telling her what the intended sex is going to be, she’s deciding whether or not to say “no”, the default choice is more of a “yes”. Most times she’ll just go along with the default choice.
Work this angle long enough and you can make having some sort of sex every night the default choice. What, you think we’re better than Pavlov’s dogs? Ding ding time for food = drool… night night time for bed = gina tingle… Damn straight it’s a Jedi Mind Trick.
So… assuming you made a clear statement of intent… “tonight I want to go down on you first, then kiss my way up your body and slow fuck you until you beg me to come” … and she declines your offer. What next?
You sweeten the deal.
You dispense with her initial “no” and simply restate the initial offer and add something more to it. “Ok… well how about before I go down on you, kiss up your body and slow fuck you, I put you on your hands and knees and spank you for a little while?” It’s really important to keep this both light and playful in tone, with a naughty boy devilish smile as you do this, and hold eye contact. Absolutely do not mumble and look down on the word “spanking”.
If she is not used to such negotiations from you this should really get her attention. She should become emotionally engaged by this. Usually this will be some version of enjoyment/delight, or annoyance/anger. Both work just fine for the moment. You’re getting a rise out of her.
If she agrees to the sex, she agrees, just close the deal and do exactly what you got her to agree to. Don’t skimp on what sweetened the deal. If she says “no” a second time, sweeten the deal again.
“I’m willing to do some hair pulling and French kissing as well. Plus all the oral, kissing up your body, slow fucking and spanking like we agreed before”. And again – you absolutely have to stay playful and fun in tone and look when you do this. You have to make it clear that you’re enjoying playing the role of salesman here. Also not offer anything additional that isn’t sexual. Don’t offer to do house hold chores, work overtime, drop off the kids to school etc, that will kill it instantly. You are not offering anything for sex, you’re offering sex more sex and even more sex. The implication you are creating is that she in fact very much wants to be laid, but is just holding out for more pleasure.
If she still is saying “no”, but is in any way showing you a positive response – smiling, hair flipping, laughing, giggling, touching you, giving you lots of eye contact, touching herself across any part of her body – that means she is enjoying the interaction and wants you to continue and overwhelm her sales resistance into making a purchase. Just keep the routine up and play the game with her. (If she is not showing positive interest by this point, just bail out of the routine, and cheerfully, and yes I said cheerfully, wish her a good night, and do the go to sleep thing. You aren’t trying to make her hate you. Importantly be as unaffected by the “no” as possible. No drama. It’s okay to try an overcome a no with play, but she should be allowed to decline sex without you being negative or turning into a stalker.)
So anyway… overcome the sales resistance…
“So what part of the big package I’ve offered is the problem? I see I’ve suggested slow sensual sex, would you like something a little rougher?”
“What can I do to get you into a fabulous orgasm tonight?”
“Would you like to test-drive an orgasm?”
“When I spank you, would you rather be kneeling, or across my lap?”
“I don’t usually do this, but *name* I like you… I can do handcuffs, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. It’s kinda against the rules.”
Just keep laying it on until she folds. Talk talk talk, play play play. Don’t forget to touch her and hold/kiss her if you can as well during this routine. Once she folds, you got her.
If she’s is still verbally holding out after all that and she’s still giving you a positive body language response, you can make one final “desperate offer”. And again, I cannot emphasize enough that you have to keep this as light and fun as possible. You pull exactly 17 (seventeen) cents from your pocket, gaze at the money in your hand with fake sadness for a second, then hold it out to her to take and say…
“can I just put the tip of my dick in?”
If you do it right she should erupt with laughter, but agree. Importantly, 17 cents is in no way enough to “buy sex” so it’s not really an insult (whereas $50 might very well be – be advised) and that once the tip of your dick is inside her, you both know that the rest of your cock is going to follow and you are in fact a 100% full of shit liar just trying to get into her pants. But she might really like that once in a while.
If you go to the “tip of my dick” gambit, do mess about with just the tip in for a bit, then just groan and fill her up. That will make her feel so desired by you which is a turn on. Also they will always call you on it after you go balls deep. “I thought you said you were only going to put the tip in”. Correct response…