The Test

Imagine you’re a humble 6 married to a 7 and the sex life is mediocre at best. Then you stumble onto Married Man Sex Life and discover the basic principles I cover and put them into action.
You work out, are nicer at home, earn a little more money, dress better, play with the kids and so on. When you go from a 6 to a 7 everything is great and the sex life gets better. So you keep plowing ahead and continue to develop yourself further. When you hit Sex Rank 8, the sex at home starts getting really good. You wife loves the new you and can’t help but respond to you.
Then comes the test. Failing this test will probably undo everything you’ve done to improve things with your wife in one easy move.
Buy Me!


  1. Anonymous says:

    You know, everyone cheating or thinking about it, is to a degree in moral dilemma. Everything I've read here is superficial and doesn't speak to the underlying need for spiritual bonding. I'm not talking about one nighters or getting rocks off. I'm talking about the spiritual bonding in a marriage that can either dissipate or get lost in circumstance. When that happens, the driving force that allows for feelings of deep closeness yearn for expression. This is why both men and women cheat. I don't like the word cheat. I find it shallow and does not address the underlying need.

  2. Athol Kay says:

    Some people that cheat are doing it from a need for emotional closeness, some are just sexually impulsive.

    I guess if you want to discuss spiritual bonding you can do so with whatever oxytocin doesn't explain. But then you can always counter that God made oxytocin, so we quickly come to an impasse.

    Rather than shallow, I prefer to think of myself as deeply pragmatic.

    Also what you are talking about is closely related to the whole concept of "soulmates", which is a small stepping stone away from causing cheating if the "spiritual partner" isn't the cheaters spouse.

  3. Athol, why won't your wife love you a little more after you get some on the side? If flirting is good, getting sex is better no? Confirms you're a hot commodity. Cheating that leads to stronger bonds between you and your wife seems to be exactly what Game would predict. What's wrong with my analysis? Is it possible that women use cheating as an excuse to divorce their husbands and is not the actual reason?

  4. Athol Kay says:

    Because it would have meant that I would have broken our committment to her and I would have been an untrustworthy liar.

    What Game predicts is meaningless against the readily observable consequences of the destructive nature of affairs.

  5. Well, not your wife. But in general.

    Are you very, very sure that women divorce men because they cheat? Or is that just what they say?

    The reason I ask is that girlfriends respond pretty well to cheating. They yell and cry and pout and then reward you with sex and baking and extra attention. If you go by what they do rather than what they say, they love it.

  6. Athol Kay says:

    Well with a girlfriend you actually don't have any committment for the girl to really lose. They are still trying to get committment, or don't care about it anyway.

    I do understand what you're saying about what they say vs what they do, that's a key observation men need to make of women.

    That being said I can assure you that the breaking of trust of a wife is pretty damn serious.

  7. Thanks Athol!

  8. Brett Johnson says:

    Hi Athol,
    Some good food for thought throughout, particularly on dominance/submission in marriage.
    I also couldn't agree more re: the destructive effects *of cheating* on a marriage that 'Game'rs seem to ignore. There is a line between taking the higher status/decision-making (avoiding the 'everything-equal' syndrome) reins, and disrespecting ones wife & demolishing her self-confidence/trust in you. — A difference between dominance and non-respect.
    (reposted for clarity)

  9. female who dislikes cheating husbands says:

    To Chad-

    I got married for fidelity…it was the only situation where I would be willing to have children.

    If my man cheats on me he is cheating my children out of the life I wanted for then and you damn well better believe I will replace him with someone who can be a better example of self-control.

    To Athol- good article.


  1. […] I said if you follow the MAP, there will always be The Test… Here’s how it plays out. You sister-in-law, your wife’s best friend, your female work friend, […]

  2. […] All of these habits build momentum; you feel good, you have value, and your life is going somewhere. What could go wrong? Well, there’s a lot of opportunities in life to screw up – to eat shitty food, to go into pointless debt, to get involved with the wrong woman or cheat on your quality wife, to miss out on good career opportunities. There’s no law of nature that says everything has to work out great in spite of you making bad decisions. […]

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