Beating Approach Anxiety – So Easy A Caveman Can Do It

I’ve had a few questions about approach anxiety recently. Of course being married I don’t really have approach anxiety anymore, but my wife has it – usually if I return from an adult store with a mysterious black bag. She becomes quite anxious when I walk up to her with a bag that may or may not contain; a 14 inch dildo, industrial strength nipple clamps, enema kits (actually I can filch those from work) or funky condoms that look like they could double as mining equipment but are advertised as “for her pleasure”. She’s always relived to just see a magazine or a video.
Acutally I find playing a porn video with the sound all the way off an excellent way to create an instant “man cave” in the basement and gain compliance with my wife keeping children out from under foot when exercising. The kids used to want to come down and watch me or dick around with 2 pound weights etc and generally ruin my routines. I’m down there becoming buff slowly but surely and wifey has given clear thumbs up to progress to date.
Anyway I digress – approach anxiety…
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Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    approach anxiety in the LTR happens too… to a certain extent. So say I'm in a LTR (well, I am) and we have sex, on average, once a week, (we do.) Now, I'm going to ask, and or otherwise attempt to initiate sex (though, asking or demanding in a playful way seems to work a lot better than anything else) – But, I think she would have sex twice a month if it were just her preferences, while I'd prefer once a day, so I'm probably going to get rejected more often than not.

    this is a problem, I think; why does a "no" (with no future negative consequences for me) feel so shitty? I mean, it doesn't seem like it should, but getting rejected by my girlfriend of three years hurts more than getting rejected by someone I approach for the first time. hell, it hurts worse than getting rejected by 10 random women. It really smarts.

    so I end up not asking every night,and probably missing some opportunities when she is interested, or at least receptive to the idea. The thing is, it seems that the longer it's been since I've gotten laid, the less rational I become, so it is something of a downwards spiral.

  2. Athol Kay says:

    She probably senses your nervousness which is a negative.

    It feels shitty because for the most part men experience love through having sex.

    My all purpose advice being follow the plan of increasing your overall attractiveness to women in general. Your girlfriend either becomes more interested or she doesn't.

    You don't marry her btw unless the sex increases.

  3. Desert Cat says:

    May I make a bold suggestion? It's the asking that is the problem.

    Now don't think this is an overnight cure, as I spent months breaking out of beta prison as I reestablished some alpha cred in my LTR, but I don't ask anymore. I tell her in advance when we will be having sex. We have a codeword that means sex, so I tell her "tomorrow morning, (codeword)." She may fuss a little when the time comes if I've been shagging her with great regularity, but I have yet to be turned down. Then again I have been limiting my "caveman game" to the more fertile half of her cycle when she's more receptive anyway. I leave her almost completely alone through the PMS and menses part of the month.

    I'm still experimenting with this cycle-based gaming, but so far the results have been marvelous.

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