I’m sure this is going to freak some of the hardcore “all women are golddigging, wannabe cuckholding with alpha males, while they betatrize their henpecked husbands” PUA MRA guys out there, but I actually like women. I know… I know… it’s scandalous and confusing. I failed Sodomy101 I guess. My bad.
I even have quite a few mommy bloggers in my feed reader and once you get past the emotional need to actually solve the problems they pose, they can be quite fun to read. Of course as a rule male commentors should not actually offer mommy bloggers advice by way of commenting on their blogs. This is for two reasons. Firstly, mommy bloggers are just blogging, they aren’t typically looking to solve their problems, they are just talking about their day. You can just listen and go “ah-huh” and nod and they like that. Also this can apply to your own wife. Sometimes you just have to listen to her day, it’s how most women decompress and feel socially bonded to people.
Secondly, I’m not having sex with the mommy bloggers. So I don’t actually care. If I see a woman struggling with a tire iron and a flat on the side of the road I’ll stop and help out provided I’m not listening to a good song on the radio. But I’m just not suffering through hearing how her day went without some sort of sex coming into the picture. I’d be like I’ll change the tire, but you need to get back in the car while I do it, or shut up a little. No really… I’d rather be lifting your body weight with a carjack if your clothes are staying on.
Thirdly, a man is not a man without a good set of jumper cables in the trunk. There is no relationship between that statement and mommy blogging. I just said I had two reasons and the third is just extra to prove I have so much good advice that it just leaks from me like pre-cum.
Like I say, I generally shut up on commenting…. but… then I read Real Men Buy Tampons For Their Wives! at This Mama Works It! and here’s a snippet, though I can assure you the entire post is like this.
“…This morning as I look in the bathroom closet to grab a tampon I notice there is only 2 left. At that time I think to myself that I will just go buy some more during my lunch break. Well lunch came and went and I did not have time. Then I meant to stop after work. Well work ended and I just jumped in my car and hurried to get the girls. I hate when they are in daycare for a second more than they need to be. So oops forgot to go to the store…again…”
If it was about dental floss it would be a Seinfeld script…. and as you can guess, hubby gets reeled into the task of shopping for tampons. And when you are doing not much else other than buying tampons in a store, you are not an Alpha Male by any stretch of the imagination. You are Menses Boy.
Don’t misunderstand. It’s not icky or gross to me. I’m a nurse remember, it’s just a little blood that gets mopped up by clean toiletries. No big deal. I’ve seen water break and childbirth. Code Brown Room 7. Shrug. I mean it doesn’t get much more dominant than being able to catheterize someone. But no question…. the wife is stepping out of line when you are providing emergency concierge service for tampons or menstrual pads. That’s her job. There’s a difference between a flat tire and just running out of gas.
Let’s see how that one flies with Mama…
Keep it light and funny, turn it back to sex, tease her. Don’t get embrassed, grumpy or annoyed. This is an easy test to pass.
And for the record. You buy the condoms because that makes you look studly and sexy, and her slutty and cheap. She buys the tampons because it’s in the Bible. I’m pretty sure. Somewhere.