Sexy Move: Egg Timer Sex

A couple weeks ago I toyed with the idea of writing the occassional post for the ladies seeking to work on seeking more sex from their husbands. I have no clue if this qualifies. It probably doesn’t, but in this little game you have to be the more active partner, so I guess I have to sell the women on this one.
It’s called “Egg Timer Sex”.
You will need an egg timer, lube, a vagina and a penis.
The method is quite simple. All you do is come up to your man stark naked, already lubed up in the slippery of your choice, drop to all fours and say “you’ve got three minutes” and flip the egg timer over. When the sand runs out, you say “times up” and start trying to crawl away and generally attempt to get up and walk out on him.
Well… if you can anyway. He might um… refuse to let you up. It might turn into a “playful tussle” or perhaps something more forceful. But then again you might like that.
Ladies… If you actually get away and look back at his face filled with anguish as he cums helplessly on the carpet, remember to disrespect him forever and see his brother and/or best friend on the side.

The Thank You Prevention Method

So much written in the Manosphere is anti-women and anti-marriage that I’m starting to feel a little worn down just reading it all. I do understand the risks in getting married, but the truth of the matter is that I am quite thankful for my marriage and most definitely thankful for Jennifer.
It becomes a very long day to mentally try and think of women as both the enemy and the prize. Trying to sustain that viewpoint in a LTR is just going to result in you becoming an asshat to your partner at some point. Women as Enemy / Prize is the modern variant of the Madonna / Whore complex. You have to try and not be made vulnerable to her to protect yourself, but vulnerability is a key to seduction. You’re meant to try and win her over, but repeating that win more than a couple of weeks makes you the loser. Confused? Ya me too.
Game puts pussy on a pedestal but advises to not put a woman on the pedestal. Funny… last time I checked they were attached. Now what…
My advice if you are in the middle of a ho-hum period in your marriage and sex life, is to ignore the Manosphere. It’s really not here to help you. Just concentrate on each other and figure things out together. The enemy cannot become each other, that way lies divorce and Ramen Noodles. You must become team mates. By all means you can lead the team, but you need to see winning or losing as something that happens to the team rather than I won she lost, or I lost and she won.
The prize is each other. The prize is “us”.
A great move for any team leader is to recognize when someone is contributing to the team. I really recommend paying active attention to your wife and thanking her for the times when she does do things that benefit you and your family. It’s an old tactic to deal with children to try and “catch them when they are good”. It’s no less effective on adults.
So when she does something good, especially something good for you, say thank you. She may be holding out on you sexually simply because she has started to resent your lack of appreciation for the good she has done. Shit tests thrive in the fertile ground of lack of appreciation.
I realize this doesn’t sound very Alpha Male and sounds very supplicating, but it actually is a somewhat dominant display. You are not asking for something / permission – that’s more Beta, but you are thanking for acts of service you have already received. So you need to reward the behavior you are looking for by at least acknowledging it occured. Failing to do so is actually a subtle punishment of good behavior and will result in it declining in frequency.
So if you punish good behavior… you are ultimately starting to force her into thinking about engaging in bad behavior in an attempt to get you to reward her. This is part of why she shit tests you.
Now if you are setting the stage to be shit tested, it really doesn’t matter whether or not you “pass the shit test”, you’re basically screwing her over either way. So her best option is to simply leave the relationship. Then you say something like “see I told you all women suck”.
So try saying thank you. Seriously. It’s not that hard.

So Would You Like Some Below Average Sex Tonight?

By definition, half of all married sex is below average sex. Some nights are going to be crazy hot lustful poundings. Others… a little more sedate and relaxed.
Rather than fighting hard to make every single night a production, why not simply embrace the fact that not every night is going to risk fractures from curled toes or shredded bedding. If you’re only having sex 1-2 times a week and each attempt is “hardcore sexing you up baby”, she might be declining you another 1-2 nights a week because she isn’t in the mood for the full on experience.
But she may be willing for something more low key. Lubricant and a few minutes of her time may very well be more acceptable to her than another hour long attempt at studfucking or the thing with the Jumper Cables and the Butter.
So while it is counter-initutive, try… “so would you like some below average sex tonight?” as a line once in a while. Remember to smile like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar attempting to use cute as a defusing tactic.
Follow up line… “you know you almost want it.”
Ya never know. She just might like the pump and dump once in a while… well minus the dump part I guess. But you know what I mean. Sometimes women get off on the emotional closeness from sex in and of itself. The quest for her to have three orgasms and squirt might be more about your fantasy needs of being a pro stick than her actual desires on any given day.
Also this goes further towards making having sex the default setting. And getting more semen inside her vagina is going to result in a mildly increasing sex drive from the testosterone in the semen being absorbed through the vaginal walls. Yeah… really. I shit you not. Plan ahead boys, plan ahead.

What Do You Want?

I’ve been thinking about what I want for celebrating my upcoming 40th birthday and it better be good because I can feel a freaky very out of character drama queen event coming if it isn’t. I just don’t know what it is I want. So I’m pretty much bound to react badly to anything that happens. Give me this, and I’ll have wanted that. Give me that and I would have wanted this. I can feel it coming. Seriously I have no clue what I want. Oh it could be one of half a dozen things, but I can’t decide.
Holy crap, I’m shit testing myself.
Anyway the whole day has been seeing that phrase “What Do You Want?” in various forms. I’ve seen it crop up in emails, in private messages, on other blogs, and it’s been repeating all day.
Here’s a private message from LIL via Talk About Marriage…
(From Me to Him but Quoted Back at Me) “Figure out what it is that you want.”
(From LIL) “I think this is good advice Athol. It’s also sort of fortune cookie nebulous, but it’s good advice nevertheless. Have you figured out what you want yet?”
Ugh, I love it when people quote my own crap back to me when I want it least. That being said LIL didn’t even know about the whole 40th birthday thing, and was asking about something completely different. That one I’ve figured out what I want and despite it being painfully complicated I’m making progress on it. (I really can’t talk much more about this as it work related and I’m on my real name here.)
So no, haven’t figured out what I want for a party, or non-party, or thing that I want for my birthday LIL. No clue.
On Sex With The Wife the question of the day was “What Do You Want?”
“Asking my wife directly what she wants just ends up starting a spiral of self-pity about how she doesn’t know either, and why do I expect her to know.”
So my general advice to that is, don’t worry about what someone else wants if they can’t decide what they want. Trying to make those people happy is like building sand castles below the high tide mark. Pretty shortly all your efforts get washed away and it’s all for naught.
You’re much better off figuring out what it is that you want and just plowing ahead and getting what you want. That way at least you will be happy. They aren’t likely to be happy no matter what you do, but they might end up happy if you’re happy because you got something you wanted. If they are angry that you are happy and they are not, just say “I asked what you wanted and you didn’t know, so I’m not wasting my efforts trying to make you happy when you don’t even know what makes you happy”. Then you ignore their tears.
Of course if what makes you happy is them being happy, you get caught in a relationship gridlock where everything circles around in a cycle of decreasing happiness until ultimately you cross the event horizon of the black hole that is forming and either blink out of existence or get served with a restraining order and divorce papers. The black hole visits joint checking accounts first by the way.
Oh hang on… I must have told LIL that exact same stuff in my earlier message to him, and he quoted it back to me.
Oh frak! The timeline is looping! If only I can get a message back to me somehow in the past, maybe all this can be avoided. I just have to let me in the past know what it is that I want and all this can be avoided….
… holy crap I still don’t know what I want for my 40th…. A strip club? A surprise party? The thing with the jumper cables and the butter?
So what do you want?

Cheating Pig Still Gets Half

So many thoughts on this one.
Firstly… Sandra Bullock has absolute gina tingle over bad boy Jesse James… when surprise! He’s actually a bad boy. Never saw that one coming…
Secondly… OMG Dude WTF are you thinking??!?!
Thirdly… Sit back and laugh hysterically as a panel of three women worry that the cheating scum bucket might get to walk away from a possible divorce with half Sandra Bullock’s stuff. Jesse James might do more for Men’s Rights than all the MRA blogs put together. Just really piss all women off about divorce law…
Fourthy… big up to Fox News getting a blonde, a brunette and a redhead on the same panel. I guess that’s fair and balanced reporting…  ;-)