10 Critical Things In How To Choose A Wife

Quick disclaimer, I’m basically describing my own wife here. So your mileage may vary. I will say that I am remarkably happy with Jennifer and that her personality and presence is a huge factor in my happiness and the level of sex that we have. Also at the time of getting involved with her, I really only had a few of these rules in my head as rules, so I really do see myself as being quite lucky in what me at 21 years old signed me up for me back in 1991.
Also this post is assuming that by wife, I really mean a one and done marriage option to a young woman with intent for kids together and lasting for 50+ years hand in hand into the sunset of death do us part. I’m not worried about remarriage, or middle aged couples or whatever. I’m talking fertile kids starting the rest of their life together.
The basic problem is that most men do not go looking for a wife. They start looking for a date, and then try and turn the date into more dates, then the dates into a girlfriend, then a girlfriend into a relationship, and then and only then worry about whether or not to bridge the relationship into marriage. Of course by then you may be realizing you’ve been backing the wrong horse as what was great for a few dates (that would be tits, ass and easy pussy) isn’t the best or only thing for a lifetime together.
If you’re really looking for a wife, kids, the PTA, ER visits, Thanksgiving Dinners, a joint bank account and someone who will hold your hand until the last minute as they push your bed into surgery, then you need to start with that somewhat in mind. By all means date around, but when you start to see major red flags, just stop dating them and move on. If you’re dating within any sort of coherent social group and you are passing on women because you are “looking for a woman with wife material” that will likely make all the women in that group at least consider you.
The truth is that men willing to commit to a woman in this day and age are in short short supply, and your value is high. You can afford to be a little picker than you think. Here’s my list of criteria;
1. No Smoking. Basically it’s a nasty habit but it’s also a serious health risk. The woman that smokes will age much faster and become much less sexy over time. Also you risk lower weight babies and birth defects if she can’t stop during pregnancy. Also importantly people that smoke just smell so powerfully bad that it overrides even their own sense of smell and much of sexual attraction is smell based. Imagine your wife can’t even smell your pheromones over the smell of her own cigarettes, how is she going to react to you sexually? Badly that’s how. Plus people that smoke just die earlier. If you’re signing up for 50+ years together with a non-smoker, it’s really like 35+ years with a smoker with the last 5-10 years being them dying by degrees in front of you, and then you living alone and sad as your kick off to retirement. I know this seems harsh, but as soon as you see a woman light up a cigarette just cross her off the list and move on.
2. B Cup Breasts. Overall the potential wife needs to be attractive and good looking. After all you’re going to be looking at that face and ass for 50+ years, so she better be tasty as you can get. My basic handle on this is B Cup breasts. A young woman with B Cups is going to be proportional and in shape overall. After the kids those puppies are going to morph into C Cups and C Cups are absolutely perfect. Enough for a handful, they crush against your chest when you kiss just right, they fill out a shirt, cleavage gets activated and they don’t suffer from sagginess like D or larger does. Miss D Cup at 22 is Mrs. EE Cup at 42 and her back always hurts and she’s cranky from the pain half the month. Her ass is wide as well. Be advised.
3. Basic Health. If a young woman is on routine medications for various ailments, you need to ask some serious questions about her health. Find out about her health as a child. Find out about any special complications or difficulties when she was young. None of these are deal breakers or course, but if you find a history of basic illness you can bet that this will be the pattern into the future as well. It’s not the job of your marriage to save the world or even any one woman; it’s to have a full productive happy life. If you want to save people be a fireman or an EMT worker or something. So if she’s constantly sucking an inhaler when she’s 24, you can bet it will be worse at 34 and the kids will probably be much the same as well. You really have to ask serious questions about psych meds and diabetes if you see that sort of history too.
4. Positive Family History. Did she have a reasonably intact family home and childhood? If she’s from a divorced family then you will have a higher likelihood of divorce in your marriage to her. Again the purpose of your marriage is not to save a woman, it’s to have a happy productive life with someone. Is the rest of her family basically normal and generally free of mental illness, developmental disabilities, crime, cancer and drama? By all means make allowances for the few black sheep in every family, but a coherent bad pattern is a stumbling block. If meeting her family feels like a social worker visit just bail and start over.
5. She Has A Clue. I don’t care what it is that she does at college, or even if she doesn’t go, but either way she needs some sort of direction and purpose to her life that doesn’t really require you to be attached to her for her to have a life of her own that’s functional and productive. If the whole point of her life is simply to meet a man and be a Stay At Home Mom, that fine as long as she is displaying a top notch SAHM skill set already. I’m talking baked goods, knitting, cooking, child care, cleaning, decorating and social planning skills. Or put another way – would some rich ass family hire her as housekeeper/nanny for $40,000 a year? I want to see some sort of ability to hold a job and responsibilities together as an adult.
6. Virgin. You heard me. The fewer sexual partners a woman has before marriage the higher her marital satisfaction and the sexual satisfaction she has within marriage. You very much want your wife to sexually imprint on sex with you and completely bond to you. The sex is just going to be that much better over the long term. Not to mention no other ex-lovers lurking on Facebook, sexual diseases, bad experiences and regrets to worry about. The harsh truth to the modern hook up girl is that yes indeed every time you sleep with another man, you damage your long term wife potential. Plus the best predicator of future behavior is past behavior and highly promiscuous women before marriage are probably far more likely to cheat on you during marriage.
For the record I also believe the man should ideally be a virgin too. I say this not from a current religious perspective – in my teens and early 20’s I was an evangelical Christian but am a quite firm atheist now – but simply from the perspective that while this was horribly hard in my time before Jennifer, the sexual payoff and trust between us is outstandingly good and on balance a significant part of our current happiness. I am laid like tile and have been for 15 years now.  However I will not lie and say it was anything other than torture at the time though.
Edit: I revisted this issue here.
7. Totally Into You Sexually. This is the counter point of sorts to the virgin one. By the time we were engaged, we pretty much ran roughshod over “the rules” about no sex before marriage. We were still each others first which is the essential point of the virgin thing, but so sexually activated on each other that we simply did not care what anyone else had to say or think on the matter. My worry about a woman not willing to flex in the engagement period, is that she is simply not sexually interested enough in her man, or has a very low libido. You do need to see obvious sexual interest and eagerness in her for you. You don’t want a multi partner slut, you do want a wife that is sexually activated on you though. Chemistry matters, it really really matters.
8. Can problem solve with tools other than emotion. If you’re running into excess drama over minor issues, and the woman using tears, anger or moodiness as a problem solving tool, this will not get better over time. Treat it like a shit test a few times, but if you find it keeps coming back at you again and again, just move on. Who wants to spend 50 years with a screechtard whose hobby is giving you a colonoscopy? You are not the Beta Male she is looking for.
9. Has a talent. Again this is one of those open things where I don’t care what the talent is. All you need to see is that she has the willpower and interest to start something and master it. Maybe it’s a musical instrument, maybe it’s ice skating, maybe it’s knitting or gardening or soccer or whatever… it really doesn’t matter. She may very well move from talent to talent over the 50 years together, everything has a season, you just don’t want to get handcuffed to a couch potato that complains you never take her anywhere as her form of entertainment. She needs to provide some of her own stimulation and interest. You’ll find that you’ll probably share an interest or two over the years that just develops at some point. But if her idea of fun just involves nothing but sitting around eating and drinking at 25, don’t complain about being married to an angry slug at 45.
10. That thing that you really need from a life partner. There’s something that you as a man really need from your woman that you can’t flinch on. Maybe you’re all about politics and are a dyed in the wool Republican and intend to seek office – it probably helps if she is Republican too. Maybe you’re Jewish and you just really want a Kosher home – maybe she should be Jewish too. Maybe you’re a military guy and will be deployed often – it really helps if she can tolerate being apart and knows what she’s getting into.
See whatever it is that you’re about, if you’re compromising yourself to have her in your life, it’s never going to work. The idea is not trying to have some sort of 50/50 relationship and fairness and equality, the idea is that you have that thing that you can’t frakking flinch on that she gets you’re about. Then you cut her a lot of frakking slack on everything else that you don’t really care about.
If you’re a man of any worth, you’re a man about something. It really helps a great deal if she can be on board with that.
(And incidentally… all those ten points can just as easily apply to what a woman should look for in a husband. For B Cups think physical fitness lol.)

Good Stuff In, Good Stuff Squirting Out

As I keep repeating, physical exercise is key to an awful lot of male sexuality. Along with that is diet, both to support the exercise and keep you growing and uninjured, but also to support the manufacture of sperm and semen.
I’m sure you’ve all seen a bazillion ads for “MegaSurge3000″ or whatever the names are of the latest cum creation product. They all promise to grow your dick four inches and make you shoot cum like a horse getting a prostate massage. (That’s really frakking impressive if you ever get the chance btw, I mean holy crap, just wow… omg wow)  I can’t promise any of that beyond getting generally a bit better ejaculations and regular health, but I can say what I’m going to show you below is what I really use, and it does in fact make me feel better and more virile. Plus it’s all pretty easy stuff to have and cost effective.
First up…
get the hell off soda. Soda is basically Liquid Satan. You know this, I know you know this, I’m not going to frakking harp on about it, because I know you know this. Food coloring, High Fructose Corn Syrup = diabetes on a layaway plan. The problem is replacing it and not just folding and going back to soda. Likewise alcohol needs to be in moderation. I got no issue with a few drinks a week, but obviously you can’t down a few drinks a day and not get hurt by it eventually.
My solution is simple. Crushed ice, and juice cut 50/50 with seltzer water. It’s fizzy like soda, it’s still sweet enough, and overall decent juice is vastly better than soda. Seltzer is also very cheap and it makes the juice go a lot further. Try it.
Secondly…
I’m nearly 40 so the joints creak a bit these days. I find a joint complex that has Glucosamine, Chondroitin and MSM the best. I have Flexamin in the photo because it was on sale and Jen had a coupon and that makes her very happy. Without taking it I tend to hurt the knees in particular and then I have to stop exercising which blows.
Multivitamin. Look for one that says “Men”. Importantly don’t take them on an empty stomach, most people get nausea that way.
Omega-3 Oil Supplment. Without Omega-3 supplmentation I get depressed, especially in winter. Plus it helps for joints and heart. It’s like $6 for 3 months worth. Mostly I take it for the way it just kicks my depression away and leaves me much happier. Takes about 3-4 months for the full effects to sink in. It’s very real to me. I’ve been on it and off it a few times – mostly because I feel really good and then I forget to take it and four months later I’m moody and discover a half used bottle of Fish Oil and the light goes off again. Oh yeah… I need this. I’m just on it for good now.
Thirdly…
I use a Whey Protein supplement mixed with Milk. (Why drinking milk from another species is okay but asking for a suck from a member of your own species is kinky is kinda confusing to me, but I’ve learned not to ask women on the bus anymore) You don’t need to find something with a muscle bound hulk on the front of it unless you want to pay 30% more for the priviledge. I use exactly that Whey Protein in the photo, it’s $9.99 from Stop and Shop and lasts me about 10 days a can. It’s breakfast and a quick post workout snack. My only advice is look around for something similar and make sure you get a decent list of amino acids on the back label. That’s what is going to make muscle growth and repair more effective. Don’t buy a SOY based supplement unless you are a female. It’s a very long post indeed, just google soy or trust me on this one… soy is not for boys.
We buy the milk that is on sale. But we do stick to a couple brands that have no growth hormones feed to the cows.
Now the protein supplementation plus multivitamin and generally keeping your fluids up basically means your body is getting all the building blocks it needs to produce sperm and semen. Without having any hold ups in the chain of supply to make the glorious white stuff, well you figure it out.
Also in terms of flavor, much has been written about pineapple juice making semen taste better. Caffeine and nicotine will make it taste much worse because after all those are posions. And we don’t really want to posion our wife against us do we.
So how well does all this stuff work? Well in the words of my one satisfied customer…
“Dude! O. M. G. Dude! WTF!”
You’re welcome baby. You’re welcome.

Beating Approach Anxiety – So Easy A Caveman Can Do It

I’ve had a few questions about approach anxiety recently. Of course being married I don’t really have approach anxiety anymore, but my wife has it – usually if I return from an adult store with a mysterious black bag. She becomes quite anxious when I walk up to her with a bag that may or may not contain; a 14 inch dildo, industrial strength nipple clamps, enema kits (actually I can filch those from work) or funky condoms that look like they could double as mining equipment but are advertised as “for her pleasure”. She’s always relived to just see a magazine or a video.
Acutally I find playing a porn video with the sound all the way off an excellent way to create an instant “man cave” in the basement and gain compliance with my wife keeping children out from under foot when exercising. The kids used to want to come down and watch me or dick around with 2 pound weights etc and generally ruin my routines. I’m down there becoming buff slowly but surely and wifey has given clear thumbs up to progress to date.
Anyway I digress – approach anxiety…
Buy Me!

Buzzing Undies Make Shopper Faint

I’m writing today’s post now, but this litttle piece caught my eye.