By definition, half of all married sex is below average sex. Some nights are going to be crazy hot lustful poundings. Others… a little more sedate and relaxed.
Rather than fighting hard to make every single night a production, why not simply embrace the fact that not every night is going to risk fractures from curled toes or shredded bedding. If you’re only having sex 1-2 times a week and each attempt is “hardcore sexing you up baby”, she might be declining you another 1-2 nights a week because she isn’t in the mood for the full on experience.
But she may be willing for something more low key. Lubricant and a few minutes of her time may very well be more acceptable to her than another hour long attempt at studfucking or the thing with the Jumper Cables and the Butter.
So while it is counter-initutive, try… “so would you like some below average sex tonight?” as a line once in a while. Remember to smile like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar attempting to use cute as a defusing tactic.
Follow up line… “you know you almost want it.”
Ya never know. She just might like the pump and dump once in a while… well minus the dump part I guess. But you know what I mean. Sometimes women get off on the emotional closeness from sex in and of itself. The quest for her to have three orgasms and squirt might be more about your fantasy needs of being a pro stick than her actual desires on any given day.