So much written in the Manosphere is anti-women and anti-marriage that I’m starting to feel a little worn down just reading it all. I do understand the risks in getting married, but the truth of the matter is that I am quite thankful for my marriage and most definitely thankful for Jennifer.
It becomes a very long day to mentally try and think of women as both the enemy and the prize. Trying to sustain that viewpoint in a LTR is just going to result in you becoming an asshat to your partner at some point. Women as Enemy / Prize is the modern variant of the Madonna / Whore complex. You have to try and not be made vulnerable to her to protect yourself, but vulnerability is a key to seduction. You’re meant to try and win her over, but repeating that win more than a couple of weeks makes you the loser. Confused? Ya me too.
Game puts pussy on a pedestal but advises to not put a woman on the pedestal. Funny… last time I checked they were attached. Now what…
My advice if you are in the middle of a ho-hum period in your marriage and sex life, is to ignore the Manosphere. It’s really not here to help you. Just concentrate on each other and figure things out together. The enemy cannot become each other, that way lies divorce and Ramen Noodles. You must become team mates. By all means you can lead the team, but you need to see winning or losing as something that happens to the team rather than I won she lost, or I lost and she won.
The prize is each other. The prize is “us”.
A great move for any team leader is to recognize when someone is contributing to the team. I really recommend paying active attention to your wife and thanking her for the times when she does do things that benefit you and your family. It’s an old tactic to deal with children to try and “catch them when they are good”. It’s no less effective on adults.
So when she does something good, especially something good for you, say thank you. She may be holding out on you sexually simply because she has started to resent your lack of appreciation for the good she has done. Shit tests thrive in the fertile ground of lack of appreciation.
I realize this doesn’t sound very Alpha Male and sounds very supplicating, but it actually is a somewhat dominant display. You are not asking for something / permission – that’s more Beta, but you are thanking for acts of service you have already received. So you need to reward the behavior you are looking for by at least acknowledging it occured. Failing to do so is actually a subtle punishment of good behavior and will result in it declining in frequency.
So if you punish good behavior… you are ultimately starting to force her into thinking about engaging in bad behavior in an attempt to get you to reward her. This is part of why she shit tests you.
Now if you are setting the stage to be shit tested, it really doesn’t matter whether or not you “pass the shit test”, you’re basically screwing her over either way. So her best option is to simply leave the relationship. Then you say something like “see I told you all women suck”.
So try saying thank you. Seriously. It’s not that hard.