Sexy Move: Date Night – How It Actually Played Out

So yesterday I gave away the game plan for date night, time to recap how we did. Bearing in mind that Jennifer is my proof reader, I’ve also given away my plans to her, so I was naturally assuming that things would be not going to plan a little as well.
So yesterday I said…
“…as we drive [the kids] to Grandmas I will most likely touch her on the thigh about three times. She’ll put her hand on top of mine letting me know she likes it.”
After about a minute driving I very obviously reach out and pat her thigh and gently squeeze it. She looks down, looks at me, bursts into hysterical laughter and then puts her hand on top of mine. It’s supposed to be a kino comfort building move that just subtly works it’s magic, but obviously I’ve tipped my hand here. Now it’s a purposely goofy “hey baby I’m gaming you, I’m a PUA LOL” move, it only works if she wants to be gamed… and she does, so it works. She’s laughing, my hand is on her thigh, her hand is on top of my hand. Don’t forget that after a certain threshold women actively enjoy being seduced, they can be in on the game. They aren’t stupid.
Later on in the 30 minute drive I repeat the move, but in the standard variant. It’s just a touch and a squeeze and she pats her hand on mine. I dunno, it’s just something we do together. Hi there, I like you, I’m happy to be driving somewhere with you. She’s right there and I like her, I gotta touch her.
Kids dropped off at Grandma’s, then off to the mall. We get the movie tickets then eat at the Olive Garden. Neither one of us have ever been to one, it was actually pretty decent, so no complaints. I tend not to be an adventurous eater, I could probably just order cheeseburgers everywhere and be perfectly happy, but Jennifer likes food variety and new places, so it works on that front. We share an appetizer and then swap some food off each others plates and generally yap about work, the blog, life in general. It was a fun conversation.
After dinner we have an hour and a bit to walk the mall before the movie. As we go up or down the escalators we always kiss and cuddle a little. I’m six foot tall and Jennifer is five foot tall, so escalators are always exciting to us as we get a fifteen second make out moment with our height differential adjusted. Again it’s just something we do together.
So we walk the mall together, remembering that I’ve said…
“There will probably some hand holding walking through the mall. At some random point I will likely either physically pull her into a store to look at something – I mean simply say “oh look at that” and walk into the store still holding hands making her follow. The other subtle move is the lower back guide along push to go into a store. The tactic depends on whether or not you are closer to the entry of the store or she is. It should be as natural as possible – it’s just something that’s happening.”
We’re walking and looking in stores and holding hands at times and generally just popping in and out of stores window shopping. I’ve still not really done “the big move” and as we come up to Victoria’s Secret, well I obviously am going to turn my head and look into the store… I’m caught looking and she doesn’t get the hand yank move. Next thing I know she puts her hand in the small of my back and literally shoves me into Victoria Secret.
So we snoop and look. Jennifer is a picky shopper so she’s trolling for sales. At the underwear display one of the five “ass mannequins” in the center of the display catches my eye. “I wanna see you wearing this one” I say pointing to the ass mannequin with no panties on. I get a mock groaning “dude” plus a fake eye roll of disgust coupled with a smile. “It’s a good look for you though…”
So we walk a little more and then head up to the movie. We’re in kinda early and have the movie theatre to ourselves. I’m tempted to make a very naughty suggestion or make inappropriate attempts to get hands inside her shirt, but this would probably backfire, so I behave. Within about one minute a few more people wander in, so this was a good decision lol.
The movie “Date Night” was overall good, a little silly in places, but generally good. Jennifer liked it too, so it’s all good. After that we leave and start heading in the general direction of home.
The original plan was a location bounce to get sushi because she likes it (I do too, but she looooves it), but we’re actually both still a little full from the Olive Garden. So we decide on coffee and dessert at the Ninety-Nine (bar and grill chain) but make a last minute detour to Wrapsody which is a little more grown up. Jennifer had never been there (I’ve been once for a work thing) so again this gets me points for “variety and interesting”. Jen gets spiked coffee, we shared cheesecake and I have regular coffee and Tawny Port. Her coffee is a Raspberry White Chocolate thing and is amazing. I love port but haven’t had it for years as it was giving me headaches, but this one goes down smooth and stays happy.
As an aside. I think we all have a variety and interest gene that needs satisfaction, it’s probably just a dopamine based thing. I suspect single men aggressively doing the pick up thing are in part trying to meet both sexual needs and variety needs by sleeping with multiple women while hanging out at the same few places. We’re married so we sleep with each other and go out and do a variety of new things together. Also we mix up the sex positions a lot. Variety is the spice of wife.
So after that we head home and basically have a long slow session on the couch together watching something called Bodies In Unison (NSFW adult link, unpaid) from the Playgirl DVD line. It’s basically vanilla porn, boy-girl, oral/vaginal, no crazy ass to mouth scenes, no stupid cock gagging blowjobs, the guys looked pretty good and standard porn terrible dialogue/acting, music mixed a little loud. I can go a little harder core and like it, but not much further than that. Call me odd but I like vaginal sex and women – so I guess I’m actually deviant these days. I got my silk boxers on, Jennifer in silk top and filmy thin panties and we cuddle and fondle under the blanket.
Slowly but surely it turns into the Discovery Channel…

Sexy Move: Date Night – Play By Play

The basics of all pick up is three words: Instigate, isolate, escalate.

We’re prepping to drop the girls off at Grandma’s house for an overnight and then have a proper Date Night. The entire point of getting rid of the kids is to create an isolation play. We’re alone together properly – it’s one thing to have sex in bed after the kids are asleep, but you can’t exactly rampage naked through the house squealing and rutting. So anyway, as we drive to grandmas I will most likely touch her on the thigh about three times. She’ll put her hand on top of mine letting me know she likes it.

The plan is drop the kids off then head to the Mall and actually watch the movie “Date Night” together. It’s a 6:55pm show time, so probably a snack and drink before the movie. There’s a couple of places inside the mall that can do that no problem. (Edit: we have coupons for the Olive Garden, this excites her so I roll with it.) Hopefully the movie will be good, a little sexy and funny. We like movies but getting to them together has been hard while the kids are little. There will probably some hand holding walking through the mall. At some random point I will likely either physically pull her into a store to look at something – I mean simply say “oh look at that” and walk into the store still holding hands making her follow. The other subtle move is the lower back guide along push to go into a store. The tactic depends on whether or not you are closer to the entry of the store or she is. It should be as natural as possible – it’s just something that’s happening.

After that is a location bounce to get sushi (her favorite) and possibly another drink. Sushi always makes her happy. It’s a fine line between the exotic and the erotic for most women. FYI single guys – if she’ll put raw fish in her mouth, she’ll be okay with having other “uncooked meat” in her mouth. The location bounce is usually to further isolate, and a small sushi restaurant is going to be more intimate than a shopping mall. Lots of opportunity to touch on the way in and out of the restaurant. Across the table from each other it’s easy enough to compliance test her by reaching across the table palm up and having her take it.

Then the next move is another location bounce in the direction of home. Obviously the point of date night is a long session of sex, but I’ve been underlining that this will happen (instigating) by picking out a “couples oriented” DVD for the evening. Jennifer already knows about this as she saw (and approved the choice) it ordered it on Sunday. When it arrived on Tuesday I saw the mailman come and purposely left it in the mailbox so she had to handle it and take in the house. It pretty much forced her to walk up to me and say “this is the pussy plutonium ions we need for the bomb we’re making on Friday right?”  Yes dear, it is. Okay so she phrased the question differently, but that’s what she meant. Giggity giggity all right.

Currently she’s out hunting up something less comfortable to wear. I have no clue what it is exactly, but I did praise and positively acknowledge what she was doing. Whatever it is will be fine. The point is the effort and intent and she’s trying to please me, so I’m saying to her I’m pleased. When a woman that enjoys being at all submissive to you does something nice for you and you say thank you it’s makes her gina tingle a little.

After that the night just turns into a long slow session of making out in the living room, fondling and squeezing as many orgasms out of Jennifer as she can manage without damaging her basic life support functions. She watches adult movies pretty much only on date night so they actually quite get to her. Also the whole thing is all my idea apparently so that bypasses the remaining anti-slut defense aka ASD and the possiblity of having a “I-can’t-sleep-little-darling” wandering into the living room in the middle of porn and red hot mommy shuts  down completely. I do watch more than she does, but hardly overdose on them. When she can’t handle anymore, it’s my turn. The usual thing with me on top riding her, a little taste of the whip and a firm finish with just a touch of the spurs at the end.

I am of course very overconfident with Jennifer.

Ask Jennifer Questions

Had a couple of comments and emails asking for posting from Jennifer. She’s not willing to dream something up and become the second blogger, but is willing to answer questions. Feel free to ask anything, but bear in mind she’ll answer what she likes as there’s really no obligation on her part to answer as far as I’m concerned.
Also I’m curious as to what people want to ask her.
Fire away!

Some Random Points Of Clarification

First random point.
Most of what I’m saying on the blog is really only advice aimed at moving a somewhat below average sexual relationship into a better one. I’m talking about how to turn a mundane sex life of 1-2 times a week into something more into the 3-6 times a week zone. From “ok” sex to “woo-hoo!” I’m also assuming there are no particular medical issues creating interruptions or killing desire. If everything stopped right after she had a total hysterectomy or something… I think I see the problem.
However if you currently are in a sexless marriage of less than 10 times a year, that’s really a totally different situation to deal with. Working out and getting physically fit and gaming your wife isn’t really going to be enough to throw the switch on whatever is wrong from the OFF setting to the ON setting. You really need to seek professional help at this point and I suggest a full medical work up and marriage counseling. There’s more than likely something clinically wrong happening here. The wrong thing to do though is to do nothing and hope things change for the better – they won’t without some sort of intervention. Though often getting the sexually dead to seek treatment is harder than getting a toddler into a car seat when they would rather stay at the park just as the ice cream truck arrives. Also there may be no real solution that works, which is a whole different dilemma. Suffer through? Cheat? Divorce? Everything is a hard option.
Second random point.
If you’re in the middle of an affair, or your wife is in the middle of an affair, that’s a whole other issue to deal with. I might get to that sort of thing next year, I do have a viewpoint but it’s just going to be a distraction from my main focus – getting below average marriage sex into good marriage sex. The most basic points to dealing with affairs are to blow the lid off the hidden nature of the affair and bring it to light plus for the partner in the affair to break of all contact with the other man/woman. After that there is a lot of talking to each other about everything plus a long road ahead to healing. Marriage counseling for affairs just seems like being a guest on Jerry Springer but for middle class people. So anyway… some couples can move forward from affairs, some just can’t.
Third random point.
I try to make the blog as generally positive as I can, which means I tend to not focus on the less fun stuff. There maybe a few people thinking I have a Pollyanna viewpoint on life and marriage. That I basically hit the jackpot with Jennifer and all my good advice basically results from dumb luck in winning the marriage lottery. That all is easy and sweet in the Kay family.
Well yes and no. Jennifer is indeed fabulous, but we have a normal life together. Don’t forget the three years of long distance relationship at the start that we only just made it through. I had immigration issues and was nearly deported over crappy advice from the INS. There are braces for the kids because apparently Jennifer is half French-Canadian and half Chipmunk. I saw her baby photos after I handed over the ring which was a sloppy move on my part. My youngest just refers to her braces as “the money” and smiles at me tauntingly, she knows what she is doing too. There is job stress. There are scheduling conflicts. There’s been one good but badly timed pregnancy, one lost baby and one horrible pregnancy. Two shitty mammograms but two benign results on biopsy, but one biopsy resulted in 2-3 years of pain for Jennifer. I get addicted to computer gaming way too easily. Money always seems tight. There’s always a lot going on. Right now is a very good time, last year we struggled. It’s a life, but a life together. Some times our team wins, sometimes our team loses, but we win and lose as a team.
Neither one of us is perfect but we’re perfect for each other. It’s like that line from Rocky, “I got gaps, she got gaps, together we don’t got gaps”.
Listen – there are tens of thousands of blogs out there that are nothing more than people bitching about their day. Or post after post of “I read something somewhere else and it made me angry / sad / annoyed / can you believe this shit?” I’m just not interested in writing like that, I’d rather stay on focus and offer something approaching a helpful viewpoint. Just please take it at face value when I say I’m a normal guy and we have a pretty normal life together. We really do have a great sex life though. I just figure you guys don’t want to know about the cat we have that can throw up three times it’s own body weight over the course of a week. I mean can a cat be allergic to cat food or something? I mean seriously WTF.
Fourth random thought.
I’ve been off work all this week (kids are off school) and I had planned to really pull the book layout / plan together this week but I’ve been also somewhat sick with a sinus/allergy/chest cold thing and lazy, plus the nature of my work is that in never really stops and I’ve had calls every day this week and a couple of things happening in my absence that I’ve had to be contacted on. Suffice to say, I played the whole time. Plus the first pile of my 19 books on sexuality I ordered with my birthday money arrived today, so I might have started reading just a little.
So anyway, some of you guys have read the whole blog, what am I missing that should be covered? And thank you to loyal readers, very much appreciated. Feel free to comment or email me at if you’re terrified that someone you know might read your comment.

What I Suggest For My Own Daughters For Further Education.

Following on somewhat from yesterday’s post on what you should do for your own education, is today’s post on what you should do to encourage your kids education. To a great extent this is going to be quite case specific in that what I’m going to say is targeted for my own kids. There’s an element of family legacy and inspiration at work here, so obviously your mileage will vary greatly.
So here’s what I say to my girls about college et al.
“When you go to college, you can do whatever it is that you want to do, but if you get there and you don’t know what you want to do, you’ll do an Associates Degree in Nursing and become an RN”.
The rationale is quite simple – I don’t want them wasting time and money in a very expensive playground. The point of college is earning some sort of ticket to something better than minimal wage slavery. An associate’s degree in nursing currently takes just two years and after graduation you take your boards and bingo you can be a 20 year old with a $30 an hour job in Connecticut. You’re earning pretty good money right out of the gate and there’s always going to be work.
If you’re going into the medical field the other obvious option is doctor of something. Ultimately it’s more money over the long haul, but there often seems to be a family cost. Plus you’re really pigeonholed into nothing but doctor for a couple decades just to break even. As a nurse you have a little more option to start, stop or continue with further education it you want to go further. Plus the way APRNs are progressing with the doctor shortage you’re likely to have 98% of the authority of a medical doctor plus get called “doctor” to boot seeing PhD is going to be the standard for APRN.
Plus nursing can be quite family supportive in that you can work around child care, work part time, full time, nights, weekends, start working, stop working almost at will. It’s one of the things I’ve most liked about it. Should they ever want to mommy track for a bit they can. When they want to get back into things they can.
Personally I just don’t see that the SAHM job description really has enough to do to keep an intelligent woman stimulated unless you’re going the full on home schooling and/or crap load of kids. And for the record I’ve been the SAHD (plus worked weekend wrap as a nurse) and it was far easier taking my kids to the park et al than caring for patients. Of course seeing there’s a supposed marriage strike going on, they’ll have to support themselves anyway. I can’t imagine the terror to future sons-in-law I’ll be, though I suppose saying their mother does it like a bunny is basically a sales pitch so things will even out I guess.
So anyway – youngest daughter just loves this plan, but eldest daughter in the words of Steve Irwin… “Whooooooaaaaah look at her hood up! This is rooly dangerous. I have to be roooly careful. Just one bite and I’m going to be fighting for my life.”
Youngest loves the idea of being done with school fast and earning money fast, plus she loves the idea of actually being a nurse. We’re talking “Daddy it’s career day can I borrow some of your nursing stuff to take to school?” One year I pulled some strings and she did a “med pass” in her classroom with Skittles in pharmacy packaged blister packs lol.
Eldest…. yeah… doesn’t like needles, though honestly it’s much less annoying to be on the non-pointy end of those. Plus she doesn’t like school all that much, so more school planned into the future is just the suck. This is the queen of high honors and associated inter-school math league games so she’s likely going to mess about until she fixates on something and then excel at it. She’s into anime and drawing and creating icons and clip art for friends and has a good eye. So graphic artist of some sort is a possibility too. Even so in the real world – being an RN and working part time could mean the difference between being a starving artist and an artist. Plus all those nursing credits can be cross credited to another degree as well. It’s not time wasted.
So like I said earlier, kids you’re going to have more education after high school and can do whatever it is that you want to do, but if you don’t know what you want to do, you’re going to nursing school. And as I said before, I really don’t care what it is that you choose to do. And trust me on this – nursing school is hell – you’ll figure out what you’ll want to do if it’s not nursing pretty damn quickly.
I guess all that’s left is to explain why this whole thing gets me laid more. Well I figure the faster these brats are out of the house the faster I get more time with the MILF setting standards and direction is an Alpha Male trait. You have to be the Alpha Male of the Group to really pull the Alpha Male thing off properly and from Jennifer’s reaction she obviously likes the viewpoint as well. We’ve both had “oops” with our degrees and have bounced back well from early mistakes, but we both see the value of a two year and out plan if nothing else appeals.
After that, their life is their own. By which I mean I’m not paying for anything else.