Fitness Tests and My First Relationship Implosion

I think the theme for the week is going to be Fitness Tests and Displays of Higher Value…
Periodically women Fitness Test (aka Shit Test) men. This can be quite purposeful and conscious testing, or it can be extremely unconscious testing that just springs up from nowhere. Suddenly she just feels something negative and the man must do something to alter the way she feels to positive. Typically these tests start fairly small, but over time they can grow larger and more demanding. The obvious intervention here is for the man to jump up and comply with her request and that does appease her… at first.
The problem lies in that Fitness Testing is the social equivalent of a sonar ping to determine social status. In general those of lower social status defer to those of higher social status. Women are hypergamous in their sexual attraction, so they…
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Comments

  1. wonkawilly says:

    I've always been a big fan of playful swats on the ass, but I do let a lot of things women do that bother me slide… like not calling back when they say they will, being late, flaking on dates, etc. Shit like that I don't really know how to deal with, other than just take it in stride… got any better suggestions?

  2. Anonymous says:

    She brought being dumped on herself by her behavior. Your reaction might not have been optimal but she started the crap flinging.

  3. Dominance was an issue here, but what was also an issue, communication. Neither of you were clear with how you were feeling. Admittedly it takes a lot of guys on both sides to say listen, this is what I need.

  4. Athol Kay says:

    Yes communication was an issue, but also been someone tells you "I was purposely late to see how you would react" it's kinda obvious it was a test.

    But like I say, all long ago now.

  5. GudEnuf says:

    She told you she was testing you? I had no idea women were so self-aware.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Yes communication was an issue, but also been someone tells you "I was purposely late to see how you would react" it's kinda obvious it was a test.

    But seems like what wasn't clear was that you were feeling disenfranchised by her behavior.

  7. Athol Kay says:

    @ Anon – I'm excited to be losing this argument about why my relationship failed again. Is this Mary???

  8. Big Jay says:

    My eyes have been opened since learning about game. I had the comfort thing down. But would instantly transform into a beta the moment I 'liked' a female. This is a great post. My guess is that you've got more stories like this. I know I do.

  9. Dear Athol, I find that when I am PMSing, the shit tests that I torture my poor bf with is so awful, I feel so sorry for him, but he seems to always pass them so beautifully. I think I've got a winner lol.

  10. Anonymous says:

    So how do you bump back after 10 years of not even recognizing these fitness tests? I just started reading this blog a few weeks ago. I'm the same as you Athol, I'm a very accommodating person. But now I'm starting to realize how many shit tests I've failed. How can I start to dig myself out of the hole I've created?

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