Comfort Building Rituals

I tend to get up earlier than Jennifer on the weekend. By which I mean her lazy fine ass stays in the bed as long as humanly possible. Actually it sounds a little like a shit test, but it’s really not. She needs her sleep and there’s nothing she really needs to be doing early on a Saturday anyway. Lets face it, she does her Wonder Woman routine all week and I wear her out as well. She really doesn’t need me screeching like a newborn on the weekend mornings.
Buy Me!

Crap How Did I End Up Carrying Her School Bag Again?

We’re listening to the recorded message from the local superintendent of schools announcing that there was indeed an attempted child abuction from our youngest daughters elementary school. She is somewhat concerned, so a brief discussion starts about how the most likely people to try and take a child from a school is one or the other of the parents in some sort of end run around court appointed custody. Seeing her parents are still happily together, she doesn’t have to worry about either mom or dad trying to snatch her up after school and heading for the border.
After all, I said, it’s not like some van with an old dude offering kids candy trying to get them into the van sitting in the school parking lot. She gets this perfect little shit testing smile, lightly rolls her eyes at me and faux-excitedly says…
“But what if he has a puppy?
After that we talked about lock-in props. She’s going to be fearsome when she dates. Just fearsome.

If I Didn’t Have Jennifer, I Would….

I’ve posted recently how dramatic Jennifer’s and my courtship was and the long distance hurdle we had to overcome. It’s really a one in a million kind of love. But I’ve also talked about not believing in soulmates as well.
So how do those two concepts mesh up together as a concept?
It’s actually a wonderful thing to have a great love, but not have the stress from thinking it’s all somehow divinely inspired or mandated. I think that kind of takes the fun out of it.
And hat tip Life Without A Net for helping me find Tim Minchin.

Sexy Move: Be Confident. Maybe Even Over Confident.

It’s all in here. Overcoming approach anxiety, making a move ahead of another guy, a neg, cocky and funny, sexy dance moves, bounce to a second location as an isolation play, building rapport, bouncing to the pad, some comfort building touch and physical escalation and confidence. Lots and lots of confidence. Plus some extra confidence. Did I mention confidence? Ladies love confidence. It’s like catnip. Like liquid money. Ok so I don’t know if liquid money really exists, but if it did it would definitely work on women. I’m confident of that.

So anyway… she’s your wife. Why not just walk up to her and be confident.

The Betaization Cure: Do Stuff That You Like For A Change

There’s a lot going on when you’re married with kids. In terms of the sex ratio at home I’m outnumbered 3 to 1. Sometimes I wonder how life would have turned out with a son or sons, but it’s kinda hard to imagine beyond having to attend sports team events a couple times a week. And don’t get me wrong, I love my girls, I wouldn’t swap them for anything.
Anyhow at times the place gets a little heavy in la femme that I just have to take a break from it and do something that I enjoy.
Obviously writing is part of that, but also getting out and watching a movie with things blowing up and more cleavage than plot points is fun. I check and see if anyone else wants to go, but then I go regardless of followers. So last weekend I saw Iron Man 2 by myself. We’ll probably get it on DVD later, but I wanted the big screen for it.
I also love hard rock / metal / grunge and it’s just not a favorite musical flavor for anyone else but me. Jennifer still tells horror stories about her Freshman year at college with the Def Leppard loving roommate. LOL Def Lepard one of my favorite bands, so I love it and it gives her PTSD. Sometimes we’ll go as a family to the same place in separate cars, it gives us both a little space and slightly deaf daddy can create a public noise disturbance all the way home. It energizes me.
Likewise exercise time is pretty much me time. I work out… probably less than I should, but generally more and better than I have for almost my entire life. It’s stress relieving and good for me. I dislike thinking about exercise but like having done it. Weights are key. The rowing machine is much more enjoyable with porn with the sound off.
I’ve never been a huge sports fan, but I love messing about with a soccer ball. We have a pee-wee sized one that my youngest and I play with inside the house. I’ve not broken too many things with it. Well… nothing Jennifer needs to know about anyway. I’ll stop and watch soccer once in a while and same with MMA too.
My general time sink is online gaming, and I’ll player vs player for hours if nothing else needs to be done. I actually have to watch that a bit as I find it very addictive. I’ve been World of Warcraft free for six months lol. One of the things I like about League of Legends is the more defined game times of about 40 minutes. I can play just one.
The point is there are a lot of pressures on men to turn into de facto women once the wife and kids arrive. The Game word for that is “Betaization”. The trouble is that the majority of Beta Traits are vital for keeping your relationship together and everyone happy and healthy. But swing too far in that direction and kill off all your male interests, you actually start to lose some of your appeal. If you start cutting out all the things that you enjoy in order to try and make your wife happy, it won’t make her happy, but it will make you unhappy. And an unhappy man isn’t particularly sexy and attractive. So eventually she’ll just start to loathe you.
Your wife was attracted to a man, she doesn’t need you to turn into her BFF girlfriend.
Ironically, despite the final outcome that will turn her off, many women grate on their man to give up his male interests in order to please her. In the short term it may well please her, but continue on this path long enough and it won’t.
So don’t be afraid to get out and do something you’d like to do if you’re not already. If you’re at all clingy on her she will love you out of her hair for a few hours. How can she miss you unless you’re gone?