Sexy Move: Trim Your Nails

It’s a simple little thing to do, but makes everything go so much smoother in bed together…. trim your nails.
NO sharp edges.
NO dirty fingernails.
NO tiny little sticky up bits.
NO nail polish unless you’re a drag queen.
Trust me, you don’t want to be heading to bed doing your Wolverine impression in the nail department. Typically if she wants her vagina scraped she wants the full deal with medical insurance, trained professionals and that specially chilled KY Jelly being involved.
Your wife probably has an emery board stashed away in the the bathroom somewhere, just file everything nice and smooth and wash your hands. Oh…. emery board… um…. it’s like a little strip of 600 grit sandpaper. Filing = sanding. See it’s really a male task after all. Nothing metrosexual about having properly sanded smooth nails.
Push comes to shove you can use actual sand paper. I tend to recommend not using a belt sander though. (That’s for toenails.)


  1. Sand paper… good manly advice.  I had been scraping my nails on the sidewalk before bedtime.  I'll check into that emery, er… uh, sandpaper thing.

    BTW, the ad that Google fed to me in your RSS feed footer was dead on hilarious!

  2. Meg at Demanding Joy says:

    Thank you!!! And please wash your hands. If you've eaten anything spicy or salty recently, it stings.

  3. Athol Kay says:

    Oh yeah… don't go from buffalo wings to finger play without washing your hands really well.

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