How To Get Your Wife To Dress More Sexy

I had a reader question a few days back…
“How do you get your wife to dress more sexy?”
Easy. You dress more sexy.
I’ll pad out the post with my usual rhetoric about women calibrating themselves to their man, but I think you guys should be getting this by now. My entire approach is based on the idea that the only person in your relationship you can really control is you.
If your wife is a 6, you begging and pleading and demanding that she turn into a 7 is nothing but hot air at best and a Display of Low Value at worst. The solution is that you turn yourself from a 6 to a 7 and she’ll probably calibrate herself to a 7 shortly after you.
So you begging and pleading her to dress better is a waste of effort compared to you just pulling your own look together. Trust me on this, no woman wants to be tagging along after her man while he’s peacocking some threads and she looks like she’s shopping at Goodwill. She’s automatically going to up her game to keep pace with him. She knows in the pit of her stomach that if she doesn’t step it up, some other woman is going to take notice of the incongruence between the couple and possibly start moving in on her man. Or Mr. Peacock is going to take notice and accidentally just meet someone for completely harmless coffee sometime.
There’s usually a bit of a lag between you upping your Sex Rank and her doing the same, but if you keep at it long enough she will likely respond. Women tend to disbelieve their husbands actually improving themselves at first. And like I’ve said before if you keep upping your Sex Rank and she doesn’t respond, you’re in a better place to attract someone new into your life.
So anyway, Clothing 101…
Everything should be clean and smell fresh. If it needs to be ironed, make sure it’s ironed. If you can afford more expensive clothes go for it and get some nice things. A good quality watch. Your belt color should match your shoe color. Your socks should match the color of your pants. And a tie is a big colorful arrow pointing towards your cock.
Tomorrow I’ll weigh in on getting her to wear lingerie. The lingerie approach is a little different than regular clothing… you can’t just out peacock her with that stuff without the Cross Dressing charge being leveled against you. Avoid.

Sexy Move: Neck Kissing For Social Dominance

One of the weak spots on the human body is the neck. If someone has you by the throat it’s immediately bad, likewise a blow to the back of your exposed neck is life threatening.
There are dozens of cultures that have some combination of bowing and hats off (think “armored helmets off” as the early variant of what turns into the modern “hats off”) from the social inferior to the social superior. It’s a social submission signal to expose physical weakness.
Likewise in the animal kingdom there are readily observable submission signals where the weaker literally bows their head to the stronger. The message is clear “ok I get it, you’re in charge here and I’m better off aligning myself to you rather than trying to compete with you”. Humans are much the same, in a stand off building towards a potential fist fight between two guys, the first guy that drops his head to the other loses the stand off. The social signal of submission avoids the physical fight happening.
Likewise it is a dominance signal to touch someone else’s neck. Touching the front of the neck is of course extremely hostile and social status and potential legal pitfalls tend to be ignored in favor of establishing an airway by any means necessary. I’m more talking about touching the back of the neck. Anyone that touches the back of your neck is announcing very clearly that they are expecting your submission.
Ever noticed how much women like their necks kissed? Especially that sneak up behind them and wrap your arms around them and gently nuzzle on their neck. Bonus points for doing this when you kind of trap them up against the kitchen counter when they are making you a sandwich.
The other move is a very light hold on the back of the neck when you are kissing or making love. Note I said “very light hold” and not “crush her windpipe” or “shake her by the neck like a rag doll”. It’s just a social signal that implies physical dominance, the entire point is that you don’t actually have to prove that physical dominance by a physical confrontation.
So anyway… neck kissing… maybe some ladies out there just discovered they are more wired for submission than they first thought….

I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You = Another Guy On The Radar

The Dr Helen Fisher summary. All peer reviewed, shoving people in MRIs to look at their brains, lab tests for hormone levels yada yada yada.
In love = Dopamine based excitement / OCD like mental obession on person of desire. (This is why SSRIs can kill off romance and interest in sex btw)    The addition of Game understanding is that Alpha Traits compliment this process.
Pair Bond = Oxytocin / Vasopressin based emotional bonding and closeness.  The addition of Game understanding is…
Buy Me!

Ex-Boyfriends and Sex Rank

“I’m a big fan of your site. I just discovered it a month ago, but I’ve already read about half of the archives. Well written.
I have a small quibble with your sex rank explanation, though. My marriage recently ended because in my wife’s eyes, my sex rank plunged. (It had definitely fallen. I’d say I dropped 1-2 points. She’d tell you I dropped 3-4 points.) And you nailed it with “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”
The problem with your theory is this: my ex-wife’s sex rank plunged as well. Granted, she left me for an ex-boyfriend — but she had left the same ex-boyfriend before. But when she left, she was 15 pounds heavier (5’3″ frame), hated her job, and was generally anti-social and un-fun.
So my question is this: does the sex rank theory require some calibrating, or is there already a sex rank addendum to explain what happened to me?
PS – it is possible that my sex rank really did plunge on a subjective basis. I didn’t gain weight like she did, and I have a high-paying job. But my betatude was off the charts. Hmm.”
Well Sex Rank is by and large best viewed as a metaphor, so it’s hard to nail down exactly what a 6 is vs a 7 for example. I mean I could possibly come up with a chart and points for everything to map out what exactly makes up every level of Sex Rank, but then we’d all just get into a big fight about the chart disagreeing over the fine points. Some people find different things sexier than others. Anyway there’s a few points that might help.
Firstly female Sex Rank seems to be fairly fluid compared to male Sex Rank. Guys tend to have a particular number and then have to work extremely hard or totally slack off to change their number. For example a guy might go from a 7 to an 9 by becoming a doctor, a woman might do the same simply by wearing better make up and a tight dress often. Simple tricks like that for women sounds unfair in comparison to effort a man has to make, but the downside is that so much is dependant on physical appearance for a woman.
Likewise women’s sexual activity can increase or decrease based on their attraction to a male. So the same woman “with a low sex drive” with her low Sex Rank husband might suddenly discover “her sex drive just increased somehow” if George Clooney started asking to screw her. A woman with low sexual interest loses Sex Rank, and a woman with a high interest gains Sex Rank.
So some of your wife’s drop in Sex Rank might have been just a drop to match some of your decrease in Sex Rank. Women tend to calibrate to their man’s Sex Rank.
Secondly, Sex Rank is kind of a competition. If you were a 7 and the ex-boyfriend was a 6, advantage you. If you fall to a 5 and the boyfriend stays a 6, advantage ex-boyfriend. Even if she falls from a 7 to a 5 with you, she probably perks it up a bit with the ex-boyfriend straight back to a 6. I’m not saying it’s an automatic packing of her bags as soon as you drop lower than him, it’s just an influence on behavior.
Thirdly ex-boyfriends and especially ex-boyfriends that have had sex with your wife, are always going to have a much higher risk of influencing your wife against your interest in her. At some point he managed to trigger her attraction enough to get her seriously interested in him. No matter how badly the relationship ended, he can still probably flip at least some of her switches still.
I obviously don’t know all the details in your case, but I can guess there was some sort of ongoing relationship that reignited that you kinda sorta knew about at first that didn’t seem so bad, but then it was purposely hidden from you until it was all getting too late to do anything.
Moving to more general advice… ex-boyfriends, specially ones that were at all “alpha / dangerous / bad / edgy” can lodge in a woman’s mind forever. And of course men being men, if he’s still attempting contact with her… it’s because he still wants to see her stripped naked and doing that thing she does.
Though the other thing to watch out for is you obsessing about her ex-boyfriends. That communicates fear and weakness and is a Display of Low Value. High status males don’t need to worry about their females wandering off to find someone better. So basically ignore the entire topic unless one shows up on her radar again. Then watch carefully and be mildly annoyingly present as required…. by which I mean cock block.

It’s A Trap!

Some fabulous reader mail…
Hello! Be not surprised that I have written to you.
Simply I to search for serious relations and I liked your profile.
I long thought and have decided to write you the letter.
I think that to us will be interesting to communicate and we will find much in common.
I can tell about myself that I formed and sociable the woman. To me of 28 years.
I the lonely woman which search for love.
Very much I hope for your answer to me.
That you could see who to you writes, I send you the photo.
I think that it is pleasant to you. Here my address on which
I can receive your letter ***************
With impatience I look forward to hearing from you.
Hello good day to you. I am indeed delighted at your letter coming to me this fine morning. I have keep it with me in my thoughts today as I go about my business. I have many cars and boats and things, but getting your letter I realize that I too am lonely. I have a large house but empty without someone to share it with.
You photo was indeed pleasing. You are beautiful and natural, a lost gem no doubt. However I do confess that I am also recieving many similar letter these days as word of my exceptional good fortune has spread.
I have tried a love like this before and been sadly disappointed this last year. I have flying to meet with a beautiful angel like yourself, but she was too shy with me. Naturally I had to return home with diamond ring and heavy heart. But your letter has renewed my vigor!
So here I sit with many photos of dazzling women around me. You are a favorite though!!! I would like to attend to this matter and decide quickly. Please send me many more photo of you so that I may know you are not shy.
Good thoughts of you.
And for the record…. damn that was a nice photo of her… or of someone anyway.