A couple months back I wrote a post where I wondered aloud if there was a link between a man getting a vasectomy and the reduction in sexual interest of his wife.
I still don’t have any hard science with numbers to back up this wondering, but there have been a couple of comments on the original post that I find interesting….
Comment One: “I was one of those small percentages that suffers horribly, and I can attest that it does in fact ruin your life. If you had a vasectomy with no ill effects, just count yourself lucky, and move on. I would give everything I own, every cent, to go back in time and NOT do a vasectomy.”
Comment Two: “I’ve long wondered the same thing – but not in the sense that her body could ultimately sense the sterile semen. My intuition is that the knowledge (in her frontal lobe) of your sterility could creep into or influence her hindbrain and cause her attraction to switch off (i.e., her hindbrain would see you as substantially less alpha).”
Comment Three: “After mine I found a tremendous increase in sex drive. I don’t think it was entirely due to being able to raw dog; I think it also had to do with the overall chemistry occurring with the sperm staying in the body. Like the body wanted to do it more to make sure some got out. Disclaimer: I had a bit of ball pain with mine, but it only lasted a year or two. Disclaimer #2: I’m now divorced. I think the reversal after divorce is for obvious reasons: you want a child with the new partner. I’m too old for that (can’t stand younger women – they don’t get my jokes)”
Note his Disclaimer #2.
Comment Four: “I’m repulsed by my husbands vasectomy and not for fertility reasons he feels like less of a man to me incomplete etc.”
Comment Five: “My love button has been turned off since my husband’s vasectomy. Sex just isn’t what it used to be. I loved the way he would squirt all over me and now it just drops off the end. It’s like going to watch fireworks and awaiting the grand finale…but you get one of those little streamer kinds. It is disappointing. He no longer smells like he did either. He would walk by and I could get so turned on by his scent and now, it seems like it’s gone. I can’t even smell it on his clothes like I did when doing laundry. I used to get turned on doing his laundry! Since his vasectomy, things have gone downhill sexually and just between us. I vividly remember him coming through the door after his vasectomy procedure and he seemed different to me. In fact, I almost instantly started looking at and lusting for other men. How do you explain that?
You bet it’s biology. Now I’m disconnected and looking for answers. We have 3 kids and certainly don’t want more. Vasectomy is just so sad in the end. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t do it. You will get more sex before the procedure!!!I’m loyal and I want to stay together but I also don’t want to stay in a relationship with sex that doesn’t turn me on.I can see why this could lead to divorce. I just want the man I couldn’t get enough of back.Vasectomy took him away. We’re together and all…It’s just different now.Hard to explain but living it”
Comment Six: “My Ex boyfriend got a vasectomy in the beginning of our relationship by his own choice before we decided to get serious. After it was done, he had lots of pain, and ultimately an infection in one of the tubes, that he had to take antibiotics for. After that, I completely lost interest in him sexually, consciencely knowing he didn’t produce any sperm. Forget marriage to a man I couldn’t have a family with either, hence him now being my EX boyfriend. I think it ruined it for me because in my mind, if he wasn’t fertile, he wasn’t worth it. I know it sounds terrible, But that’s honestly how I felt.”
So all I’m saying here is that it makes me wonder. Is there some sort of casual link that goes Vasectomy -> Loss Of Sexual Attraction -> Divorce. Whether that loss of wifely attraction comes from a biological or psychological basis doesn’t really matter, though it would be interesting to find out.
More importantly… why hasn’t this been studied?