Hey the World Cup is on! Don’t forget to get behind a team. I think Argentina looks good.
Sexy Move: Watch The Soccer
June 18, 2010 By 2 Comments
All Purpose Flirting, Teasing And Unexpected Baked Goods
June 17, 2010 By 7 Comments
For the most part the key to Gaming females of all ages is a mixture of being unafraid of them in a “I notice you but I’m not affected by you” way, and staying light and playful. Gentle teasing is like catnip as well. Not harsh put downs, just a light ruffle drawing attention to their weaknesses. They love a little mild naughtiness too. It’s mostly just a male of flirting.
The more you start to do it and practice it, the more natural it becomes and the easier it gets. Eventually it just becomes second nature. As an aisde for the work related examples below, my wife works the same place I do and is all purpose loved by everyone that comes into contact with her and is hotter than everyone else. The chance of anyone really getting the wrong idea is very very low. That being said, I don’t go as far as sexual comments with anyone other than Jennifer.
Some examples;
Female Co-worker to maintenance guy doing a complete bathroom remodel: “Well look at this kitchen, we need a new kitchen”.
Guy: “What’s wrong with the kitchen???”
Female Co-worker: starts rant of all kitchen weaknesses.
Me: “Wow look how easily she just slips into wife mode”.
She laughs and rant ends.
Jennifer by text: “Daughter #1 is at xxxx house until 6pm and daughter #2 is at xxxxx house until 5pm”.
Me: “Get naked. OMW!!!!”
Jennifer: “lmao yes sir!”
Me: “Oh… hang on, Brazil is about to play. Sorry 
”
”Next day…
Me by text: “Lingerie top of your choice. Stockings. Me on top. You loud. That is all.”
Jennifer: ” Gotcha :-> that is all”.
Favorite Female Co-worker asks for feedback on her new job assignment…. I reply with seven good points and slip in “feed me baked goods”. (I totally trust she won’t react badly)
Email Reply: “yada yada yada and I will not be feeding you baked goods, but I might make cupcakes for the next staff meeting”.
Me later text: “LOL I forgot about the baked goods line”
FFCW: ”Hahaa”
5th Grade Field Trip at Boston Science Museum chaperoning three girls. I’m hungry and need a snack and decide to spring for snacks for all three as well. They have all been very well behaved all day…
Me: “Ok girls you can choose a snack or a drink from this display”.
Daughter #2: “yay”
Friend #1 looking: “Ohhh, hmmm…”
Friend #2 looking: “Ummm maybe I’ll have… no…”
Daughter #2: “I don’t know what I want”.
Friend #1: “Me neither, but I am hungry”.
Friend #2 picks up item, returns it to shelf, repeats.
Daughter #2: “maybe some fruit”.
Friend #1: “well that looks good, what are you having?”
Friend #2: “I can’t decide between the apple and the Peanut Butter Cups”.
Repeat this conversation twice more…
Me: “SNACKS UP ON THE COUNTER TO PAY OR MISS OUT IN…TEN NINE EIGHT SEVEN SIX FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE ZERO.”
All three decide and grab on the “one” lol.
Me: “Come here” patting sofa between my legs.
Jennifer comes over and we cuddle with her back to me on my chest and chat and snuggle. After a few minutes it becomes apparent that this is one of those slightly awkward positions that is nice for closeness but not 100% comfortable long term.
Me: “You’re just tolerating this like a good girlfriend aren’t you”.
I get the faux arm slap thing from my wife of fifteen years.
FFCW: “What do you think of ABC?”
Me: “blah blah blah ABC is good”
FFCW: “Yeah but I was also thinking maybe the exact opposite of ABC as well”.
Me: “well blah blah that could work as well”.
FFCW: “Well blah blah reading between the lines I’m trying to find a way to get you to commit to a position so I can disagree with you on this trivial point blah blah blah”.
Me falling to knees dramatically and faux pleading: “I don’t know how to please you…. what do you want me to say lol”.
FFCW: laughs.
Two minutes later…
FFCW: “So what kind of cupcakes do you want?”
Me: “Lemon Poppy”
Results pending…
Catching Up On Cheating And Why You Need A Contingency Plan
June 15, 2010 By 12 Comments
It seems people are reading my third post on cheating and not reading the first two. So lets recap a little.
What To Do When There’s Another Man In The Picture – Why cheating isn’t just a Fitness Test. Why you can’t just play it cool and try and Game her back. How wives cheating typically results from the husbands failure to engage them with a combination of Alpha and Beta traits. It also followed along from the earlier Dopamine posts about female boredom.
Spy Mode: What Do To When You Think Your Wife Is Cheating – How cheaters; lie, are delusional, exhibit changed behavior and become addicted to the cheating experience. The immediate step being to determine if the suspecting cheating is actually happening, by which you actively spy on your partner and gather better information and documentation of the cheating. Methods being key loggers, phone tapping, GPS tracking and hidden cameras. Once you discover things you may not even wish to continue the marriage and may opt to simply end things. If you do decide to try and fight for the marriage you take the following steps: you reveal your knowledge and proof of the cheating (they will always deny without proof) and give two choices.
Option one involves breaking it off completely with the other man, submitting to STD and pregnancy testing, possibly testing paternity of all children, attend marriage counseling together (more on this in a later post).
Option two is to simply be divorced.
The Social Nuclear Bomb: What To Do When You Catch Your Wife Cheating – Because cheating with a lover is addictive, despite a cheater confessing and agreeing to stop seeing a lover, they will often seek to re-establish contact. During this time of detox from the cheating getting professional help is of some value and the cheating spouse needs to start rebuilding trust by being completely open and available to the non-cheating spouse. If it is proving a losing battle, then final option is to unveil the proof of the cheating to every person that has influence over the cheater and ask for assistance in the intervention. It may or may not work, but it is something. The most important thing is that the cheater have no contact with the lover, this allows time for the marriage relationship to be rebuilt and for husbands, time to brush up on the gaming of their wife.
I’m assuming if the route you want to take is just ending the relationship, you don’t need much help beyond finding an attorney. Good luck and I mean that sincerely. However if you want to try it the way I’ve laid out, do so with the knowledge that this isn’t just something I thought up in an afternoon. This is about a year’s worth of reading and responding to hundreds of posts and stories on the Talk About Marriage boards. Cheating makes up about 70% of the issues there. This stuff does in general work but it’s no guarantee either.
Personally I hope you never have to use any of these few posts. But simply knowing this basic information and having your spouse know that you have a contingency plan and the will to execute it, is a form of prevention in and of itself. You learn and know this stuff for the same reason banks have a dozen cameras inside them – prevention as much as the ability to catch a crook.
Discovering cheating and the decision to end a marriage or not are possibly the worst moments imaginable for anyone to live through. There are no easy answers and until those moments come upon you, you may imagine what you would do, but you may not truly know. Some that say they would stay and fight until everything was exhausted and no hope remained, just quietly gather their things and go. Some that say they would kill her in cold blood just crumple, weep and plead.
I will say this though – should you decide to offer a chance of redemption to a cheater… that’s the only one they get. Not only that, but it very probably uses up that one chance for any future women in your life that do the same thing.
I’ll get to a counseling post soon. Honestly though, I find just wrinting about cheating as a topic draining and unpleasant. I might be off posting for a day or two.
The Social Nuclear Bomb: What To Do When You Catch Your Wife Cheating
June 13, 2010 By 6 Comments
So… assuming you’re following along the first and second post about what to do if another man is gaining traction on your wife, we’re up to the part where you’ve unveiled that you know what is going on and you have some sort of documented proof that she’s up to no good and you’ve sprung it on her.
The thing to know is that they will almost always agree in the moment you say you know about it all to break it all off and return to you. This is typically a very genuine reaction in the moment. She’s not trying to lie. What happens is The Time Before Writing “Oh SHIT!” software routine gets run and she immediately becomes docile and submissive to avoid being killed by an jealously enraged mate. However as I have pointed out before she is still emotionally hooked into the whole experience with the other man and riding the Dopamine roller coaster.
So she’s possibly going to try and wiggle out and go back and somehow keep seeing him. Also remember that the other man is doing the same Dopamine roller coaster thing as well and is going to want to try and keep seeing her. Plus your darling wife probably painted you as some sort of monster / asshole / total loser to him, so he’s possibly got it in his mind that he needs to rescue your wife from you on some level. Which is all based on her lies and his delusions of course. So you need to keep both of them apart.
At this point your surveillance is going to need to intensify on a direct face to face manner and you’re going to have to step up things on a sort of “supervise the prisoner” sort of level. She will have to be completely open about where she is, who she is with, what she is doing and on a case by case basis you may have to alter some of her commitments. If this all happened via a gym membership, she needs to find a new gym. Via church group, gotta find a new group. Via online group, she can’t go back. Via job, well this can be tricky… but if possible a new job or transfer can be very helpful. You’re dealing with an addict and she still can’t be trusted.
Ideally this sort of additional control is a short term thing until her feelings subside. This may be a few months and generally I advise additional professional help with this. You tend to be getting emotionally involved and it’s hard to maintain perspective without help. Also at some point you will need to relax this level of control as eventually the control itself will become a sticking point and cause problems. Once the in love feelings subside and the wife sees her prior love interest in the cold light of day she can often experience acute embarrassment and even revulsion for him. (I’m sure you’ve all experienced something similar for someone you’ve fallen out of love with at some point in your life).
Now if this isn’t working and she continues to have contact with him, you simply step it up to the next level. Which means that everyone that has an influence over her gets to see the documentation of the inappropriate behavior along with your request to ask them to talk sense into her. And by everyone I mean; her parents, her siblings, her friends… basically anyone with influence. The important thing is that this isn’t framed as “your daughter is a frakking whore and here’s proof of your little whore whoring”, but as “I’m willing to go to counseling and work on things, but she has refused to stop seeing him or work on this with me, I don’t want to divorce her, but obviously this just can’t continue. I want to save our marriage and life together, but she isn’t listening to me, can you please talk to her.”
And naturally if the other man has a wife or girlfriend, you inform her of everything as well. No point letting him sleep easily Seriously, fuck him over as well as you can with proof. No hitting though… which is a pity, but there we go.
So anyway, telling everyone brings it all out into the open and the light. If that doesn’t break her cheating then nothing will and I firmly advise you to just get STD tested yourself and divorce her without flinching. Do be careful about telling your family about her cheating though, for some reason even after you have moved on and forgiven and healed your marriage, your family will hate her for all eternity and that may cause longer term problems.
Women and Romance Novels
June 13, 2010 By 6 Comments
We had lunch today with my wife’s parents and sister and three of her kids. We’re coming out of the restaurant and my wife is in the process of giving her mother a romantic novel of some sort. They have this short back and forth discussion about the author and how they have this love hate relationship with her. Apparently she is a wonderful writer but she always makes them want to cry at the end with some sort of plot twist.
Then there was some talk about how it was all so meaningful and this author touched on issues, and why does she have to kill off a certain character in all her books and blah blah blah.
So I’m just standing in proximity to my wife there as all this goes down and they end up looking at me like I’m going to dive into the conversation and add something to it. So I do…
“Sorry I was drifting off, the Germany and Australia World Cup match starts in twenty minutes”.
I get faux beaten with open handed slaps on my upper arms simultaneously by both my wife and mother-in-law. It’s how women let you know that you just created additional gina tingle and they are responding to you. I’m not saying I want something with my mother-in-law, but pulling a double slap is a rare treat.
Oh and by the way, I’m not down on romance novels. Once in a great while I’ll read one, but I’m not really excited by them, but it’s like catnip to many women. Jennifer likes to read them on the sofa rather than watching TV and some nights comes to bed… um… preheated. So I cope as best I can.
Edit: Jennifer just told me that this woman doesn’t even write romance novels. The last one was about cystic fibrosis. So I’d feel embarrassed about completely misreading that entire conversation, but I’m obnoxious.
Spy Mode: What To Do When You Think Your Wife Is Cheating
June 13, 2010 By 31 Comments
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| “But I’m not sleeping with him, we just talk all day. |
Ok so here we go on part two of what to do when another man starts gaining some traction on your wife’s interest level. Part One is here.
As an aside, I’ve never had to do any of this with Jennifer and the majority of this information is a distilling of the overall viewpoint I gained from the Talk About Marriage boards on how to intervene in a situation where cheating is starting to happen.
So let’s learn a few simple things about people who are cheating. If you Google for signs that you spouse is cheating, you can come up with hundreds of somewhat contradictory signs, but it all boils down one simple thing. They just exhibit a change their behavior somehow. If they had been reliably doing A B and C, but suddenly they start doing X Y and Z. It doesn’t matter what A B C or X Y Z actually is you’re just looking for the change in behavior.
The second thing to know about cheaters is that they lie. Lies are like rats, for every lie you catch, there’s usually a hundred you didn’t. You may catch them in a fairly minor lie that may not seem to directly relate to cheating, but you never know. The lies can start small, like simple omissions of information – like I had lunch with a guy I’m very attracted to that I work with. Then slowly ramp up to bigger things like secret bank accounts, “I can’t leave work the boss is making me stay”, “it’s your baby” yada yada yada.
The third thing to know is that cheaters are basing their entire decision making framework on the belief in that they are able to get away with it and not experience a negative outcome. As an example – I can very much enjoy a fantasy experience of dreaming about robbing a bank and loving all the money – but I don’t rob banks because I believe I’ll get caught. Actual bank robbers believe they can get away with it and getting caught is a horrible shock to them. For the most part robbing a bank these days requires someone completely delusional considering the amount of cameras et al. Likewise people that are cheating are assuming that they can get away with it; that there are no consequences for their actions. The delusion also extends to thoughts like “I love them both, just differently”, “I can’t help myself” and so on.
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| Click to read how she’s hooked. Standard BS. |
The fourth thing to know is that the entire thing is addictive to the cheater. The whole thing of “it just happened” really does happen, but usually it gets spread over many small occasions rather than one bizarre event. What happens is usually the cheater experiences something pleasant with a member of the opposite sex, a flirt, a smile, something nice, a little attention and it’s all completely harmless. So they go back for another little nibble on the good feelings. Then they go back for another little nibble. Fast forward a couple weeks and the Dopamine has kicked in and the full OCD-like symptoms of interest in another person has started to take over their thought process. Now they can’t live without lunch with the love interest, they have to call them repeatedly, they need their texts and so on. The more serious it is the more evidence will pile up.
The answer to this combination of changed behavior, lying, delusion and addiction is to drag it all out into the ugly light of day. And to do that you’re going to need information and documentation… you gotta spy on them.
I do have two serious warnings about spying though. The first is that it will drive you paranoid and half crazy just doing it. Then even innocent things can seem more than it really is to your crazy thinking. The second is that if you get caught spying and your spouse was doing nothing with anyone, you’re going to look like a lunatic and that could damage the relationship. So never get caught and never start this without at least some evidence that they are being shady.
Now the first thing I recommend is that you keylogger their home computer. I recommend Spector Pro for this. Never used it myself, but has many great reviews all over the Internet and seems to have a great set of features.
The next thing you can do is tap her cell phone. As far as I can tell as long as the phone plan is in your name, you’re good to go legally on tapping “your own phone” that she just happens to be using. There are dozens of websites that offer to sell this stuff and I have no particular recommendation. Importantly you can get ones that track the GPS location of the phone.
There are also GPS tracking devices for use in cars, though it seems like they are less reliable and if you’re going the cell phone tap route you may as well get a good one of that.
If you’re suspecting the relationship is physical and happening in your own home, you can go for a huge variety of nanny cams that are motion activated. If you’re catching her out and about, there are a variety of spy cameras or even most good cell phones take decent pictures or even video anyway.
Then you lay low and collect information. Print a hard copy of everything and anything that looks bad. If she’s going to some guy’s house (GPS tracked her there), you need to snap shots of her going in and out. Absolutely do not tip your hand that you are spying until you have solid evidence against her.
You need to visit a few attorney’s offices and grab a few business cards and whatever divorce handouts they have. Also do the same thing for marriage counselors.
Once you have solid proof that something inappropriate is going on, you unload the whole thing on her and drag it all out into the open. Here’s your list of 53 phone calls to Mr. X in the last two weeks. Here are all your texts to him. Here are the photos of your breasts you sent him. When you said you were at the movies with your sister on Friday you cell phone GPS was at his house for two hours. You’ve been to his house four times in the last two weeks. Here are all the emails where you said he was fantastic in bed, here’s a photo of you both holding hands in public. Whatever it is just lay it on with a shovel.
Then she has a simple choice.
Choice One. She breaks it off with the other man, as in completely off, NO CONTACT beyond a final message to him “sorry my husband caught me, I’m going back to him, this is over”. This all happens in front of you by the way. Any repeated attempts by him to contact her need to be ignored, or if it becomes threatening in any way it becomes a police matter via 911 and/or restraining order. The no contact is absolutely vital in that she needs to be weaned off the addictive effects of contact with the other man.
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| Gotta go get tested. Always. |
She also needs to comply with immediate STD testing, regardless of whether or not she said it was physical. That can be done at her primary doctors. If there is any possibility of pregnancy I’d advise testing that as well. This is one of those “reorient her to reality” things. It doesn’t matter what she says happened, cheaters are liars and lying liars need to pee into a cup. You don’t have sex until the results are in.
Depending on circumstance it may be worth paternity testing any and all children you have with her. If you’re catching her now, what’s to say she wasn’t cheating then.
Then she also needs to agree to attend marriage counseling together.
Choice Two. She needs to pick a divorce attorney from one of the business cards. There’s no way in hell you’re going to let her cheat on you and not stop.
Now usually all this should stop her in her tracks cold. Most times you’re probably going to get a huge emotional reaction, crying, screaming, wailing and even puking for a full on remorse display. Or it may all be too late and she just opts for option two.
What may happen though is she’s going to opt for option one and then because she is still hooked into the other man emotionally etc, she’s going to try and wriggle out of it and continue things. So tomorrow I’ll talk about Plan B.
And naturally all this assumes that you want to save the marriage even after discovering what you uncover. These are serious choices; a knee jerk “kick the bitch out” usually ignores the difficulty of unpicking a long marriage relationship. Kids, money, house, savings. It’s not an easy road no matter which you choose. Many marriages can recover from affairs both emotional and physical and end up stronger for it. Others… others sadly don’t. Affairs suck. I can’t make the stay or go choice for you, everyone is different.
What To Do When There’s Another Man In The Picture
June 12, 2010 By 11 Comments
We’ve covered Fitness Tests and Female Boredom and how that all ties into Dopamine. Recapping quickly… many women are attracted to dominant men and gain active enjoyment in the form of feeling excited when they are reacting to such a man. The hormone that acts as a reward mechanism for this is Dopamine. Lacking the stimulus they want women feel bored and to solve that problem they can consciously or more frequently unconsciously force an issue towards potential confrontation by creating a Fitness Test for their man to pass and thereby assert dominance over her.
Men pass Fitness Tests best by generally not reacting to them over much. The tactics of reframing the test so that it seems silly, responding with humor, responding with boyish sexual interest or plain old just saying “no” work very well. (Remembering of course that simply her asking you to do something isn’t always a test. It’s a test essentially when she is asking you to allow her to treat you badly, or have her gain something at your expense.)
Basically by not feeding into the test and reacting to her, the male retains the locus of control in the relationship and the female despite the initial upset at being denied her request does ultimately respond with attraction to the display of dominance. (And again – not all women are submissive, not all men are dominant, your mileage may vary, yada yada yada.)
However there is one particular set of circumstances where the man really does have to react very directly when his woman starts acting out on him and ignoring or trying to reframe her behavior will backfire. That’s when another man is starting to enter the picture.
And yes – if another man is gaining traction on a wife, it’s pretty likely that the husband is screwing up somewhere on either the Alpha or Beta Traits. Maybe both. Usually women who get a decent helping of both traits from one guy that is sexing them up right will stick around very faithfully to him. But if you’re in the middle of a triangle you have to know what to do for the immediate problem – the other man.
I’m also not just talking about some guy hitting on her in passing, or flirting or whatever incidental. That you just celebrate with a smile. No worries there, that’s normal, she’s a hottie. I’m talking about too many phone calls, chatrooms, world of texting, sneaky lunches kinda sorta and a funny feeling in your stomach.
Firstly you cannot view this as a Fitness Test and play it cool. If you lay back off her and generally show that you are unconcerned and take a view that you’ll just display higher value, that just gives her more room to interact with the other guy. The classic line given by cheating partners early on is a request for “space”. So if you give her “space” per her request, her “alone time” quickly turns into a beeline to the other man. Any time you hear a request for “space” you need to immediately figure out if you’re a clingy on her, or if she is up to something. Either way, it’s bad.
Now sex with the new guy may or may not be happening. She might just be hanging out, many intense relationships outside of marriage can go months or even years before turning sexual. Some never turn sexual but can damage just the same. The energy that could have gone into the marriage relationship gets diverted and lost into another one. Emotional affairs can end a marriage just as a physical affair can.
The trouble is if you back off, she gets a lot of excitement and stimulus from the other man. So she gets her addictive Dopamine fix from him, rather than you. So this is how a few harmless little meetings can snowball into a full fledged crush and obsessive thinking over another man, despite being married to you. So the solution is that the relationship with the other man needs to be interrupted as best you can. The longer you let it go on, the worse things get. You have to actively fight for her.
Now obviously back in the Time Before Writing the textbook method of dealing with another man interested in your woman and not responding to aggressive eye contact would have been a spear tip shoved repeatedly into the squishy bits of his body. Or using an early ninjitsu technique and while he slept smashing his head in with a rock. This still retains some appeal today, but generally results in extended jail terms so I advise firmly against it. Plus while you’re inside, your wife divorces you and hooks up with someone else. Thus negating the entire point of the idea of putting Mr Loverboy in a burlap sack and playing Home Run Derby.
Likewise if you use violence on her… say coming home unexpectedly early and yanking hard on her arm to pull her off the top of him… you will also likely go to jail or after all the dust settles probably end up in a lifestyle where jail would offer better food and medical benefits. So violence, despite its natural appeal, is a poor solution for the modern man.
But as I say, you have to actively fight for her. Basically whoever brings the overall strongest male position to bear generally carries the day. And yes I know… “strongest male position” is a loose term… I’ll explain more tomorrow.
And for the record, much of this applies the same for when a husband is starting to get hooked into another woman. Though as I’ve said before, the ladies are welcome, but I’m writing to the guys.
Blog Reader Ranking, Cell Phone Ranking And Not Asking Your Boss What Color Her Panties Are By Accidental Text
June 11, 2010 By 2 Comments
I have a lot of blogs that I follow in my feed reader, but I don’t always have a great deal of time to read them all. My handy dandy solution is to simply lump them into groups of importance in my Google Reader.
I pretty much read the A List blogs and my Fun List blogs everyday, I get to the B List most days, the C List usually. The D List I just scan the titles for something eye catching read those posts and then delete the entire list en mass. New blogs get a separate folder where they stay for a while before getting a A B C or D ranking.
As harsh as it may seem, you can also do much the same for people in your cell phone. If you’re a player and trying to juggle and stay in contact with a bunch of women that you may see only on occassion, just flag them with a letter before their name and you have them ranked in whatever system you can dream up. Your A List girls you might do one thing for, the B List something else, C List you call back the next day etc. Whatever you can dream up and you want.
Though naturally I advise you to seriously control access to your phone should you do this. Unless of course you purposely decide to let it slip. If you do that I would suggest that you leave the highest rank empty for her to discover and ask about.
“So why are there no A List girls in your phone?”
“That’s the LTR slot…”
Then watch the mouse wheel inside her head kick into high gear…
Of course being married, I have no time or need for the games… well… okay I’ll spill….
I use for myself a number system and rank my most valued female contacts. “1 Jennifer” sits at the top of the list. It’s actually cool because about 40% of my outgoing calls and 75%+ of my texts are to Jennifer, so I get a lot of ease in quick keying replies etc.
“2 xxxxxxx” is my favorite female coworker and we do have a lot of contact with each other. Our work group is geographically spread out, but we’re a small team, so we do a fair bit of calling and texting each other.
“3 xxxxxx” is my female boss who I both love dearly and have a lot of respect for. Kinda Mom and Son in flavor.
“4 xxxxxx” is daughter #1
“5 xxxxxx” is daughter #2
Basically this group gets 90% of my out going calls, and 98% of my texts and they just all sit at the top of my address list. See how that’s all easy phone management.
On discovery of this ranking… #2 was quite flattered that she out ranked #3 in my phone, though I pointed out immediately that I do occassionally text a little too quickly and she was the only one in the top five that I could accidently send a flithy text intended for 1 Jennifer to and not get in serious trouble with. So she’s technically the buffer to the people that really matter… just a little neg there lol.
Hmmm… I haven’t done Simon Says with Jennifer for a while either….
I do find it very helpful to have my #1 ranked female flashed in front of my eyes as such at least 4-5 times a day. More important than the kids. More important than the boss. More important than female coworkers.
But remember of course that while she is my Number One, I’m still the Captain.
Clean Bill Of Health….
June 10, 2010 By 4 Comments
Urology appointment today and supposedly I’m all clear. Clean urine, perfect prostrate, no X, no Y, no Z. Urologist obviously had no clue what happened to me, but devoid of other symptoms and good exam had to let me walk out of his office. I got a mild suggestion of Motrin from him. So hmmm, I believe my 11 year old could have mustered that suggestion up.
So anyway, brave face and all that. I texted Jennifer that the Urologist said it wasn’t clinically significant unless it happened with at least three women. I got a LMAO back. She’s so wonderful.
See in the moment it happened I wasn’t really thinking about it all. But in the days after it, the mouse wheel of thoughts just kept going around and around. What if I can’t. What if it’s really serious. What if that turned out to be the very last time together. I don’t think Jennifer could live with a sexless marriage anymore than I would. She would try, heroically, but I just don’t know. So what if what if what if….
I’d just be a completely different person if I couldn’t have sex.
Anyway, this was all a major distraction and emotional time sink. I’m still a little spooked by it. So logging off for some gentle low frills sex. Get right back on the horse and all that. (Oh that sounded wrong didn’t it…)
Sexy Move: Pineapple Juice For Better Semen Flavor
June 9, 2010 By 9 Comments
A reader question…
“In recent conversations with two different groups of friends, the subject of eating pineapple, or drinking pineapple juice to improve the taste of either partner during oral sex has come up. One group of friends swears by the pineapple method and the other heard about it, but no one had tried it or knew if it really works or not. Do you have any thoughts or science or experiments on this subject?”
Actually I have heard that too. I though I had touched on that back with the post Good Stuff In, Good Stuff Squirting Out but apparently I just thought I did.
Generally if you eat a lot of crap then your semen is going to smell and taste worse. Generally better food and liquid tends towards better smell and taste. I’ve heard good things about pineapple changing the flavor positively. Personally I’m not wildly excited about pineapple as a flavor, so I did try that myself once but tended to stray from it. I quite like Limeade cut with seltzer water 50/50, or if drinking something grown up, Limeade and Rum.
That being said, I have hit upon a much quicker and easier use of pineapple juice to improve wifely complaints of the taste of blowjobs though. Once you come in her mouth, just immediately offer her a small cup of pineapple juice.
You’re welcome baby, you’re welcome.
