Divorce Is Contagious So Stop It At The Sniffles

Show me a man’s friends and I’ll show you the man.
Who you hang out with and even the friends of the people you hang out with can have a real effect on you. It’s not just a hunch, but there’s been some interesting studies recently that have mapped out the socially contagious effects of depression, obesity and divorce.
In plain English, if your friends, or even your friends of friends, are fat, unhappy and divorced, it increases your chances of also becoming fat, unhappy and divorced. And yes there is an element of “like wanting to hang out with like” at work here, but even adjusted for that effect there is still a causal effect at work by the social contagion.
Being most interested in divorce rather than depression or obesity, here’s a few quotes;
“Fowler’s research on divorce contagion didn’t examine whether the decision of parents to break up affects their children’s relationships. But his study did analyze the effect of divorce on siblings. People with a divorced sibling are 22 percent more likely to get divorced than people who don’t have divorced siblings.
Friends have even more influence than siblings when it comes to divorce, according to Fowler’s study. People who had a divorced friend were 147 percent more likely to be divorced than people whose friends’ marriages were intact, the study said.
The study also revealed a divorced co-worker can increase the likelihood of another employee divorcing by 55 percent compared to an employee who works with non-divorced employees.
Marriage therapist Gerry Lane in Georgia said he agrees divorce can be contagious. He said his clients’ friends have triggered their desires for a divorce — even among previously happily married couples.”
So to take away…. anytime you or your wife have friends, coworkers or family divorcing, that’s also a critical point for your relationship to negotiate safely past. Her best friend divorcing is particularly serious. Same if it’s your best friend. I’d take the time to at least have a conversation about “do you think that will happen to us?”
The answer to that question being…
“Well we have our ups and downs, but  I can’t really imagine us divorcing ever. Well… not as long as you keep putting out for me anyway.” 
And the naughty boy sly smile… always with the smile. Then pull her in and kiss her like I taught you.
Do NOT let the idea of divorce roll around in her head unopposed. Deal with that while it is still a small little passing thought or worry rather than letting it go full blown. It seems far too simple a tactic, but sometimes all a man has to do is just gruffly state that he is committed to the marriage and the wife’s feathers all settle down.
“What are you talking about? We’re good together, always have been, always will be. You get like this when we go too long between spankings I think”.
Anyway, I’m not particularly worried about divorce. If Jennifer wants to downgrade to just being a booty call she can. It just seems like an awfully large effort to have sex with me less.

Fatherhood vs Sexual Selection Failure

It’s Father’s Day, so obviously I’m meant to dredge up some sort of platitude about fatherhood that makes everyone feel all warm and fuzzy about fatherhood.
Nah. Sex Rank and the Body Agenda is too brutal for that.
So lets compare two guys to each other. The first is a “lowly Beta” with not much going for him other than a rather dull 4 wife. He’s only ever had sex with her and together they have a couple of funny looking kids. The second is a master of Game and…
Buy Me!

The Number One Reason Husbands Don’t Get Blowjobs

Let’s see, you’re doing Alpha stuff, you’re doing Beta stuff, she’s smiling at you, you’re getting more sex and all is well. Well except for that little slightly uncomfortable scuffle thing that happens when you put your hand on the back of her head and try and direct it downwards. There’s a pulling back and twisting out thing she does with her head and a “not tonight”.
“Not tonight” of course implies that at some future “tonight” a blowjob will indeed be forth coming, but that night doesn’t seem to happen. There’s no excited “hey tonight” that she spontaneously voices in lip quivering breathless passion.
Let me tell you what the problem likely is….
… you gotta stand closer to the soap.
See you may think you smell just fine, but in the words of Fat Bastard “everybody loves their own aroma”. See her vagina doesn’t have a sense of smell, so as long as you don’t smell terrible all over she can lie back and think about shoe sales for the 2 minutes it takes for you to be done. (Yeah yeah I know, you only need two minutes because you’re “so intense”.)
But her nose does have a sense of smell and when its nuzzling into your crotch she’s going to get a heady whiff of whatever the hell has been happening down there. So two day old underwear with urine stains aren’t going to cut it. If you’re spent half the day getting hard  over the busty chick in the cubical next to you and there’s something approaching a pint of drying pre-cum swill in your pants that’s going to be bad too. If you have sweaty balls from either a very hot day, recent exercise or just bizarre genetic defect, that’s going to be bad too. Women have sensitive noses, far more sensitive than those of men. Faced with smells like these she’s just going to uncontrollably gag as soon as something goes in her mouth. They hate that.
Even if the last person you had sex with was her, if that’s not cleaned off with soap and water and is just left el naturale, within 24 hours your cock is going to smell like you have a fetish for barebacking cheap zombie hookers.
So there it is guys. Wash. Your. Cock.

Bro’s Before Hoes Equals….

Back in the Time Before Writing relationships and dating were probably nasty, brutal and short. Alpha Male was a status that was defended and debated by spear tip. You probably kept your relationship with a woman as long as you stayed able bodied. To the victor the spoils and females more than likely just submitted to whoever won a male on male fight. You tend not to Fitness Test a male freshly covered in your prior partners blood.
At some point along the way though, the males in a tribe must have figured out that they spent so much time and effort killing or avoiding being killed by each other, that the tribe was actually weakened against outside tribes. So the men of one particular tribe made an agreement with each other. Once a man took a woman, she belonged to him and no other man would try and take her from him. Oh sure there could be intense rivalry to determine who got to have her, but once it was decided, it was decided. And if anyone broke the rules everyone would get spear practice free play on the asshole just to keep their skills up.
The men decided that the relationships between the men, were more important than a woman coming between them. This pact was called Bro’s Before Hoes… I mean Patriarchy and Marriage.
This turned out to be such a successful plan that eventually every social group was forced to either adopt Bro’s Before Hoes… I mean Patriarchy and Marriage, or get wiped out by another social group that had adopted it. See, if two neighboring tribes both had a 100 males, and one tribe had a fierce internal competition for the women and 50 of those men ended up somehow disabled or killed because of it, that only leaves 50 able bodied men to square off against 100 able bodied men in the Bro’s Before Ho’s tribe. Plus that meant a whole tribe of extra women to share out.
Let me explain… say the 50 men in the tribe that fought over women were killed by the Bro’s Before Hoes group of 100 men, for the loss of say 35, that would leave 65 men from the Bro’s Before Hoes tribe still alive. The 100 original women from the Bro’s Before Hoes tribe would still be there, plus about about 100 new women from the defeated tribe would be 200 women between 65 men. So that comes to 3 women per man, plus the chief ends up with 8 women because a few were leftover and no one had invented decimals yet. All from a single combat experience. See this is how men got so good at math.
Fast forward to today and yes indeed things are more complicated, I don’t see women as chattel or whores by default yada yada yada, but a great deal of civilization rides along on the foundation stones of Bro’s Before Hoes… I mean Patriarchy and Marriage. Without this agreement between men - you have to understand that the idea and rule of marriage came into being before women had any say in the matter –  life will eventually return to being nasty, brutal and short. For everyone, but especially men.
It is extremely counter-intuitive, but I’ve said before that most men do sexually better from monogamy than not. And societies clearly do.

Follow Up: Vasectomy Causing Loss Of Wife’s Sexual Interest?

I still don’t have any hard science with numbers to back up this wondering, but there have been a couple of comments on the original post that I find interesting….
Comment One: “I was one of those small percentages that suffers horribly, and I can attest that it does in fact ruin your life. If you had a vasectomy with no ill effects, just count yourself lucky, and move on. I would give everything I own, every cent, to go back in time and NOT do a vasectomy.”
Comment Two: “I’ve long wondered the same thing – but not in the sense that her body could ultimately sense the sterile semen. My intuition is that the knowledge (in her frontal lobe) of your sterility could creep into or influence her hindbrain and cause her attraction to switch off (i.e., her hindbrain would see you as substantially less alpha).”
Comment Three: “After mine I found a tremendous increase in sex drive. I don’t think it was entirely due to being able to raw dog; I think it also had to do with the overall chemistry occurring with the sperm staying in the body. Like the body wanted to do it more to make sure some got out. Disclaimer: I had a bit of ball pain with mine, but it only lasted a year or two. Disclaimer #2: I’m now divorced. I think the reversal after divorce is for obvious reasons: you want a child with the new partner. I’m too old for that (can’t stand younger women – they don’t get my jokes)”
Note his Disclaimer #2.
Comment Four: “I’m repulsed by my husbands vasectomy and not for fertility reasons he feels like less of a man to me incomplete etc.”
Comment Five: “My love button has been turned off since my husband’s vasectomy. Sex just isn’t what it used to be. I loved the way he would squirt all over me and now it just drops off the end. It’s like going to watch fireworks and awaiting the grand finale…but you get one of those little streamer kinds. It is disappointing. He no longer smells like he did either. He would walk by and I could get so turned on by his scent and now, it seems like it’s gone. I can’t even smell it on his clothes like I did when doing laundry. I used to get turned on doing his laundry! Since his vasectomy, things have gone downhill sexually and just between us. I vividly remember him coming through the door after his vasectomy procedure and he seemed different to me. In fact, I almost instantly started looking at and lusting for other men. How do you explain that?
You bet it’s biology. Now I’m disconnected and looking for answers. We have 3 kids and certainly don’t want more. Vasectomy is just so sad in the end. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t do it. You will get more sex before the procedure!!!I’m loyal and I want to stay together but I also don’t want to stay in a relationship with sex that doesn’t turn me on.I can see why this could lead to divorce. I just want the man I couldn’t get enough of back.Vasectomy took him away. We’re together and all…It’s just different now.Hard to explain but living it”
Comment Six: “My Ex boyfriend got a vasectomy in the beginning of our relationship by his own choice before we decided to get serious. After it was done, he had lots of pain, and ultimately an infection in one of the tubes, that he had to take antibiotics for. After that, I completely lost interest in him sexually, consciencely knowing he didn’t produce any sperm. Forget marriage to a man I couldn’t have a family with either, hence him now being my EX boyfriend. I think it ruined it for me because in my mind, if he wasn’t fertile, he wasn’t worth it. I know it sounds terrible, But that’s honestly how I felt.”
So all I’m saying here is that it makes me wonder. Is there some sort of casual link that goes Vasectomy -> Loss Of Sexual Attraction -> Divorce. Whether that loss of wifely attraction comes from a biological or psychological basis doesn’t really matter, though it would be interesting to find out.
More importantly… why hasn’t this been studied?