Hey the World Cup is on! Don’t forget to get behind a team. I think Argentina looks good.
We had lunch today with my wife’s parents and sister and three of her kids. We’re coming out of the restaurant and my wife is in the process of giving her mother a romantic novel of some sort. They have this short back and forth discussion about the author and how they have this love hate relationship with her. Apparently she is a wonderful writer but she always makes them want to cry at the end with some sort of plot twist.
Then there was some talk about how it was all so meaningful and this author touched on issues, and why does she have to kill off a certain character in all her books and blah blah blah.
So I’m just standing in proximity to my wife there as all this goes down and they end up looking at me like I’m going to dive into the conversation and add something to it. So I do…
“Sorry I was drifting off, the Germany and Australia World Cup match starts in twenty minutes”.
I get faux beaten with open handed slaps on my upper arms simultaneously by both my wife and mother-in-law. It’s how women let you know that you just created additional gina tingle and they are responding to you. I’m not saying I want something with my mother-in-law, but pulling a double slap is a rare treat.
Oh and by the way, I’m not down on romance novels. Once in a great while I’ll read one, but I’m not really excited by them, but it’s like catnip to many women. Jennifer likes to read them on the sofa rather than watching TV and some nights comes to bed… um… preheated. So I cope as best I can.
Edit: Jennifer just told me that this woman doesn’t even write romance novels. The last one was about cystic fibrosis. So I’d feel embarrassed about completely misreading that entire conversation, but I’m obnoxious.
|“But I’m not sleeping with him, we just talk all day.|
A reader question…
“In recent conversations with two different groups of friends, the subject of eating pineapple, or drinking pineapple juice to improve the taste of either partner during oral sex has come up. One group of friends swears by the pineapple method and the other heard about it, but no one had tried it or knew if it really works or not. Do you have any thoughts or science or experiments on this subject?”
Actually I have heard that too. I though I had touched on that back with the post Good Stuff In, Good Stuff Squirting Out but apparently I just thought I did.
Generally if you eat a lot of crap then your semen is going to smell and taste worse. Generally better food and liquid tends towards better smell and taste. I’ve heard good things about pineapple changing the flavor positively. Personally I’m not wildly excited about pineapple as a flavor, so I did try that myself once but tended to stray from it. I quite like Limeade cut with seltzer water 50/50, or if drinking something grown up, Limeade and Rum.
That being said, I have hit upon a much quicker and easier use of pineapple juice to improve wifely complaints of the taste of blowjobs though. Once you come in her mouth, just immediately offer her a small cup of pineapple juice.
You’re welcome baby, you’re welcome.