Mostly my focus here is on the assumption that the wife in the relationship has a normal sex drive. Once the the husband returns to showing a sexy profile and behavior, her normal sex drive for him kicks back in and the sex starts happening again. That’s an easy fix. You can get that turned around in a couple of months no problem.
However I’m pretty much assuming that readers have the common sense to rule out potential medical issues. There’s little hope of getting more sex from her from gaming her if her hormones are all out of whack for example. If the low sex issue stems from ovarian cancer for example… I think I see the problem. You have to go rule out medical issues first.
The other area I haven’t covered is the wife having a normal sexual desire, but a blockage in her related to anxiety, fear, lack of sex education, trauma, nervousness etc. Simply dialing up the Alpha isn’t going to make a “Shy Wife” become more sexual with you, in fact it may become too stimulating and simply drive her deeper into her anxiety. Ironically the behavior that can unpick her locks is actually adding in Beta comfort building. The comfort building decreases her anxiety and she can fully relax enough to enjoy everything.
Here’s an example… I’ve had some recent email from a reader with a very anxious skittish wife when it comes to sex. Go read the shower post first if you can’t remember it and zip back here.
“Very good stuff. I loved the shower pass post. She locks the door to shower, so I think I’m going to get a stick at the ready to pick the lock…probably in a couple weeks when she’s ovulating.”
See for a normal wife the playful Alpha invasion of her space in the shower and silly one liners is experienced as enjoyable attention. It turns her on. In fact the gaming of her comes from the way you don’t have sex with her. You’re teasing her!
But Very Shy Wife has the door locked to the shower. Specifically to keep her husband out. (And yes that is worrisome in and of itself that she is that wound up, but no “leave the bitch” comments please it doesn’t actually help towards a solution.) So if he pops the lock and marches into the bathroom with a hard on, she will probably experience this the same way a normal wife would experience a SWAT team entering the bathroom. She’s going to scream in terror, try and cover herself with a hand bra, plus likely fall over and cry.
Not as hawt as intended.
The proper approach is to let her know the overall plan. Yes this takes away the element of surprise, but that’s the point. Then you break down the process into a number of smaller steps. The first change would be to have her shower with the door simply unlocked. That’s it. Maybe do that for a week or so. Then the next step is to have him come into the bathroom while she showers. Have a conversation in there, he can brush his teeth or something. Maybe a week of that. Then the next step is opening the shower door while he’s in there, a week of that. Then he can get in with her and wash her back.
Is this long and tedious? It sure is. But it also might work a lot better than popping the lock and rocking the cock at her. It does take a slow steady pressure to continue to advance through the steps though. Each level comes with a discomfort that needs to be politely presented and passed through. The Alpha doesn’t let her off the hook of development, the Beta praises and soothes. You must have both tools in the toolbox.
As each step is made there’s praise and positive attention. As long as progress is being made in the direction you want, you just stick with the process. You’re not going to go from Very Shy Wife to Trained Slutty Wife in a single day, or a week, or maybe even a year. But you can make constant progress towards that goal. It’s all vastly easier with her consent to have her limits purposely pushed, but you can make progress with rewarding the behavior you wish to see anyway, it’s just slower.
Back in the beginning Jennifer was extremely shy and from her upbringing was basically sexually naive. If you give a girl an orgasm when she doesn’t know what an orgasm even is, that’s about the best Display of High Value possible. I remember that much of the first month of sex she lay there stiff as a board and soundless. I considered adding a strobe light to the bedroom to make it look like she was moving.
We’ve always had a lot of sex, but early on it was fairly bad sex compared to now, though I was just so excited to be getting laid I thought it was awesome. But each time got a little better. And I gently pushed back her boundaries, I didn’t force her, just wore her down with expressions of enjoyment, pleasure for her, praise and thanking. It did take a while and we are still learning things together even now. Now she relishes doing things that once made her nervous. Now she’s positively slutty with me in the manner of my choosing. What’s not to love about that. (Though she does remain leery of the thing with the jumper cables and the butter.)
There was an understanding between us that we were going to push her boundaries together. She was comfortable in her discomfort. I didn’t yell, hit, threaten to leave, pout etc. Just a slow steady push to move in the direction of more sexy. There’s a world of difference between “suck it or get out” and “kissing me there is nice, lick me a little”. The Tortoise beats the Hare in the story you know.
It’s an old joke between us that I’ve corrupted her and am “a very bad man”. I always say that’s why she likes me so much. She always nuzzles into me after I say that. She’s actually thankful I’ve made her like some of this stuff.