From Sex With The Wife
“It is no end of frustration for a husband to have a wife who does not know what she wants. As a man you are left guessing. Advocates of the ‘alpha male’ philosophy will say that this woman wants to be told what she wants, and will enjoy having these decisions made for her, and that may work for some women. My wife tends to react defensively when she is told what to do. Instead, she is left frustrated at her inability to decide and at the same time her inability to accept the decisions of others.”
I think this misunderstands the alpha approach slightly. It’s not so much that you tell her what she wants, but that you say what you want and give her the option of either complying with that or missing out on something enjoyable.
The whole indecision thing and not knowing what she wants is just a tool to frustrate you and have her remain in control in the relationship. Plus its an all purpose play for attention.
If you stop feeding in to these things where she just spirals in her little indecision psychodrama and just say “well you don’t even know what you want so there’s no point me trying to make you happy because either way you’ll decide I’ll be wrong, so I’m just going to make myself happy and I want X” and then you go do X. She will likely have a little temper tantrum over the loss of control over you. You ignore that little spat completely and do what you want. You will find that she finds you more attractive in the aftermath of that interaction.
In a similar vein of thought… Alkibiades from Seasons of Tumult and Discord.
“As such my father believes deeply that it is the man’s responsibility to provide for his wife and to ‘keep her happy.’ Only by doing so can a man be truly happy.
My father trotted this pretty lie out once again over the weekend. I laughed when I heard it for the countless time. I deadpanned back to him that keeping a woman happy is impossible. She will be happy if she chooses to be such, or she will be unhappy and make her significant other miserable if she chooses. The problem is we’ve created a whole generation of men and women with unrealistic expectations. When the impossibility of meeting those expectations is confronted, they tend to get angry and look for someone to blame. Often it is the man who is blamed. It is the man who is confronted almost daily and told constantly that the failure is his and his alone. Too many men still accept the blame.”
Basically if you live your life with your happiness dependant on someone else’s happiness, you are nothing but a slave to the shifts in their mood. And if that’s the case you better hope that Cleopatra is in the mood for sex.