Instigate, Escalate, Isolate. (I Think We’re Alone Now)

Escalation is escalation of physical touch on a woman, or as better known in PUA lingo as Kino Escalation. In pick ups the idea is you start small and work up towards more intimate areas of her body. So a touch on the forearm builds comfort, a gentle tap on the knee, a quick brush with your hand on her back, picking off fake lint are all easy and inoffensive. After that you can bridge with longer touches, hand holding, arm around her waist, kissing, yada yada yada until you inch towards the inside of her wet panties.
Except in a marriage there’s really no worry that you can’t get to do all that as you’ve probably done the touchdown dance hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of times already. So sometimes you forget to do it completely. Oops.
The other way you can ramp things up is verbal Instigation. In a pick up this is more of a foreshadowing tactic. When you are chatting some one up, if you then mention in passing that you’re going to hit on them shortly, this creates both an expectation that you will hit on them, plus it creates compliance by making them active rather than passive in that they don’t walk away.
After you hit on them, you mention you both should get together some time. Later in the conversation you ask her out. Or say that your think her breasts are amazing and you don’t know if you can last five minutes without trying to touch them. If she stands there and keeps talking to you for another five minutes…
You know when we have sex together, it’s going to be amazing, I can just tell.”  See there’s nothing she has to do now, you’re not actually dropping your pants and lunging the bayonet in her direction. You’re just setting an expectation and making it clear what you want. If she sticks around she’s interested at least partially.
Except in a marriage there’s really no worry that you can’t get to do all that as you’ve probably done the touchdown dance hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of times already. So sometimes you forget to do it completely. Oops again.
So back to basics….
Touch her.
Talk to her.
But here’s the trick, you need to Isolate her, pull her out from the herd a little. “Wanna take a walk?” As long as you’re isolated together so she isn’t more public than she feels comfortable, you can pretty much do anything you want with a wife. She’s been to the show so to speak, season tickets so to speak. Isolation is important as if you’re more public than she feels comfortable with, whether that’s in front of the kids, or parents, or at the mall, or the beach, if you grab at her or say something suggestive it will kick in her Anti-Slut Defense and it will all take a step backwards. Welcome to the look that says “die in a fire”. (You know the one!)
The other half of the trick is to Escalate and Instigate randomly and “en passant”. As soon as you have an opportunity to lightly spank her butt, or nuzzle a neck, or kiss, or flirt, or tease, or oogle or simply drool a messy “ooooooooooh” at her, you do it. No hesitation, just do it, if you wait too long the moment is gone and you look silly trying to regain the moment. And then you don’t stick around too long. Kiss her deep and good and then grin and walk off to whatever it was you were doing.
The attempt to close for sex on her comes when you meet all three elements together in the same moment. You’re alone together, touching her in a sexual / intimate way and you’re saying that it’s the sexy time now. Until then you’re just playing with her and not attempting to have sex.

I did NOT have this album by Tiffany. Never happened. No no no no no.
Good day to you sir.
I said GOOD DAY.
Edit: Changed the video to a more recent live version of Tiffany singing on a British Show. I like the MILF thing lol.


  1. haleyshalo says:

    "Touchdown dance." Hee.

    There was a scene in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that illustrates the push-pull of describing and then not doing. I couldn't find a clip on YouTube (FOX must be on infringement patrol), so here's a transcript of the scene:

    Willow and Oz are in a van waiting for their friends.

    Willow: I wish they'd hurry. (cut inside the van)

    Oz: So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?

    Willow: Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun.

    Oz: I get you.

    Willow: (after a pause) Do you wanna make out with me?

    Oz: What?

    Willow: (looks away) Forget it. I'm sorry. (decides she wants to know)
    Well, do you?

    Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class… You know, I'm not thinking
    about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you.
    And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame.
    Willow kissage.

    He nods his head and smiles to himself. Willow smiles over at him. He
    looks up at her.

    Oz: Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you.

    Willow: (confused) What? But freeze frame!

    Oz: Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to
    make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And
    that's on the empty side. (looks off into space) See, in my fantasy when
    I'm kissing *you*, you're kissing *me*. (looks back at her) It's okay. I
    can wait. (sees the window open) We're up.

    He gets out of the van. Willow watches him get out and smiles.

    If you listen to the episode commentary on the DVD, Joss Whedon explains that fans were rejecting the Willow/Oz relationship since Willow had spent the previous season having an unrequited crush on her friend Xander. In response, Whedon created this scene to get fans behind the Willow/Oz pairing.

  2. Athol Kay says:

    Wow Haley long post! :-)

    Nice sequence though.

  3. haleyshalo says:

    Cut and paste is my friend, Athol.

  4. You had this album? Athol. And here I was feeling lame for being unable to weed out my Survivor "When Seconds Count" album from my tape collection when I dumped the rest of them the other day.

    haleyshalo – that is a great scene between Willow and Oz. I was so disappointed when he left the show and then, two or three eps later, they hooked her up with Tara. Lameage.

  5. Athol Kay says:

    I'm not saying I know where it is now Grerp. I came to America with a suitcase and a backpack, so much was left behind.

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