Useless As A Hat Full Of Busted Assholes

You can read the whole tale at Talk About Marriage, but I couldn’t help laughing at the cluelessness of the husband on this one.
“I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 2. We broke up after 4 years for 1 year, when he started making me less of a priority, so I left. We hardly have sex anymore maybe once every 3 months. I cant get him to do a thing of “man-like duties” around the house. Example for the past 6 months the outlet I use to charge my cell phone every night has become loose and the cord falls out of the outlet and I wake up to a dead cell phone, also the under cabinet lighting he installed (That he NEEDED) and been falling for over 3 years, I asked him to fix these things and he will either refuse, tell me I should figure out how to do myself because he is not my personal handyman, or tells me I better hire an electrician (HE IS AN ELECTRICIAN!!!..WE HAVE THE PARTS IN THE GARAGE!!) He is never romantic I will ask him what he loves about me, because honestly after 9 years i don’t know why. He tells me he loves my unconditional love for him…which is a nice way to say I put up with his crap”
I’ll stop the story there, but you can easily guess the rest of it – she works with this guy and…  so what should I do? I love my husband but I’m not in love with him. Yada yada yada.
I’ve posted in the past about fixing up things around the house. However a professional electrician that can’t fix the wiring in their own house may well be just too developmentally delayed to salvage.
Fixing unsafe electrical wiring is a Reasonable Request and he’s bumping back on it like it’s a Fitness Test. Consequence: He’s a total jerk. Outlook: Attorneys and Masturbation.
And yes, she’s probably nagging him like a sore tooth. But this is all a cautionary tale about how a First Officer will mutiny on a bad Captain. She’s turned into the de facto Captain and he’s defaulting to a crappy crewman. Plus all this acts as a counterpoint to much of what is being written on Game, he’s going to get the boot not simply because he isn’t Alpha enough – but because he also isn’t Beta enough.
Seriously. Fix an outlet cover, get laid and stay married. What’s so hard?

Sexy Move: Get Her To Cook You Breakfast

I did a quick shopping run this morning for hash browns, sausage and waffles. I do love a cooked breakfast. Before I left I told Jennifer where I was going and what I was buying and asked if she wanted coffee as well (Medium Hazelnut Light and Sweet – know your woman’s preferences) and I got the gooey eyed look from her. But then it’s early morning and she needed to wash her face properly before I could get a heart-all-fuzzy look.
Then I made my move… I pawed at her leg like a puppy wanting something. She laughed and said she’d cook.
“Yay! Being playful gets me what I want! Plus you need to get up anyway.”
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What Do To About Wifely Nagging For Reasonable Requests

A reader question…
“I stumbled across your blog a few months ago, and I’ve really appreciated your advice. I’m sure you get plenty of blog post ideas, but I thought of a question that I don’t think I’ve seen you cover before. How do you handle occasional nagging? Even more tricky, how do you handle a reasonable request that’s delivered in a nagging way.
My wife doesn’t nag very much; it’s one of the things I love about her. But occasionally she will, and I usually get blindsided by it. It’s easier to respond to a ridiculous request by making a joke of it (and not complying). The hard ones are when the request is probably something I should be doing ( rinsing off dinner plates, carrying stuff upstairs, etc), but it’s given in a very naggy way, as if I’m a child.
I suppose the first thing to do is make sure I am pulling my weight around the house, especially with the man’s chores. But we all slip up now and then. Any advice on how to respond, possibly comply with the request, and still show some Alpha traits?”
Ah this is a tricky one. She’s “right” in that they are reasonable requests, but “wrong” with the tone and demeaning attitude. So even if you comply you lose, and you lose if you don’t do it. She loses as well because she has to nag you to get it done, or if she doesn’t it doesn’t happen.
So you have to reframe the whole situation.
Firstly I’d just draw her attention to the fact that (1) you understand and agree something needs to be done, and (2) that nagging happened and now you’re both getting trapped in the dynamic of nagging that is lose-lose.
So then you ask her to repeat the request to you pleasantly. One option for this is starting with a 10 second kiss, or hugging etc. This usually calms you both down and takes the nag / venom out of the reasonable request. If she asks nice you go do it. If she refuses to ask pleasantly, you don’t complete the task, or get to it when you have time. Nagging is rude and why would you provide good service to rude people.
The other option for her asking you to complete reasonable requests is to have her cup her breasts and to lift them up and lightly smoosh them together as she asks her request. Studies have shown that for fully covered females this is 57% more effective than female on male nagging for task completion, and tasks are completed on average 37 days earlier. For for revealing tops this increases to 87% more effective and averages 93 days earlier. Unfortunately the data for topless females is incomplete as the research was halted to start a multitude of landscaping and remodeling projects.

Instigate, Escalate, Isolate. (I Think We’re Alone Now)

Escalation is escalation of physical touch on a woman, or as better known in PUA lingo as Kino Escalation. In pick ups the idea is you start small and work up towards more intimate areas of her body. So a touch on the forearm builds comfort, a gentle tap on the knee, a quick brush with your hand on her back, picking off fake lint are all easy and inoffensive. After that you can bridge with longer touches, hand holding, arm around her waist, kissing, yada yada yada until you inch towards the inside of her wet panties.
Except in a marriage there’s really no worry that you can’t get to do all that as you’ve probably done the touchdown dance hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of times already. So sometimes you forget to do it completely. Oops.
The other way you can ramp things up is verbal Instigation. In a pick up this is more of a foreshadowing tactic. When you are chatting some one up, if you then mention in passing that you’re going to hit on them shortly, this creates both an expectation that you will hit on them, plus it creates compliance by making them active rather than passive in that they don’t walk away.
After you hit on them, you mention you both should get together some time. Later in the conversation you ask her out. Or say that your think her breasts are amazing and you don’t know if you can last five minutes without trying to touch them. If she stands there and keeps talking to you for another five minutes…
You know when we have sex together, it’s going to be amazing, I can just tell.”  See there’s nothing she has to do now, you’re not actually dropping your pants and lunging the bayonet in her direction. You’re just setting an expectation and making it clear what you want. If she sticks around she’s interested at least partially.
Except in a marriage there’s really no worry that you can’t get to do all that as you’ve probably done the touchdown dance hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of times already. So sometimes you forget to do it completely. Oops again.
So back to basics….
Touch her.
Talk to her.
But here’s the trick, you need to Isolate her, pull her out from the herd a little. “Wanna take a walk?” As long as you’re isolated together so she isn’t more public than she feels comfortable, you can pretty much do anything you want with a wife. She’s been to the show so to speak, season tickets so to speak. Isolation is important as if you’re more public than she feels comfortable with, whether that’s in front of the kids, or parents, or at the mall, or the beach, if you grab at her or say something suggestive it will kick in her Anti-Slut Defense and it will all take a step backwards. Welcome to the look that says “die in a fire”. (You know the one!)
The other half of the trick is to Escalate and Instigate randomly and “en passant”. As soon as you have an opportunity to lightly spank her butt, or nuzzle a neck, or kiss, or flirt, or tease, or oogle or simply drool a messy “ooooooooooh” at her, you do it. No hesitation, just do it, if you wait too long the moment is gone and you look silly trying to regain the moment. And then you don’t stick around too long. Kiss her deep and good and then grin and walk off to whatever it was you were doing.
The attempt to close for sex on her comes when you meet all three elements together in the same moment. You’re alone together, touching her in a sexual / intimate way and you’re saying that it’s the sexy time now. Until then you’re just playing with her and not attempting to have sex.

I did NOT have this album by Tiffany. Never happened. No no no no no.
Good day to you sir.
I said GOOD DAY.
Edit: Changed the video to a more recent live version of Tiffany singing on a British Show. I like the MILF thing lol.

Live Long And Prosper

It’s abundantly clear from a pure biological standpoint that humans are not designed to be purely monogamous. A reading of any of the basic evolutionary psych primers will get you to that understanding. A cheat sheet version of Sperm Competition and Concealed Ovulation is a reasonable starting point at Wikipedia.
From a biological perspective both men and women appear to to be built for a primary hormonally pair bonded relationship plus opportunistic sex outside that relationship.
Monogamy is a social adaption that…
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