Sexy Move: Toasted Marshmallows… Spluck Her Good

Sometimes all you have to do to impress a woman is to do one little thing that surprises and delights her. Ideally that thing you do involves a skill rather than simply giving her something. Chocolates please her for about one tenth of a second, what I can show you here is going to give her a memorable moment.
So anyway… toasting marshmallows. At some point you’re going to end up by a fire and everyone is going to be toasting marshmallows. Here’s how you blow her mind with the humble marshmallow.
Now all the Omegas are just going to shove a marshmallow on a stick and then hold it way too close to the fire and brown the outside of the marshmallow before eating it. Or worse they will simply set the damn thing on fire and blow it out and consider that a job well done. No son, that’s a burnt piece of crap, your woman will not be pleased.
The trick is simple. You stay away from the leaping flames and find a good spot of glowing embers giving off a decent heat. Then while you hold the marshmallow over the embers you slowly keep it turning on the stick. Think rotisserie marshmallow. Just turn, turn, turn, turn. If you do it just right you can cook the marshmallow so that while the outside doesn’t burn, the inside of the marshmallow heats up enough to turn into a gooey liquid.
You know that the inside of the marshmallow has turned into a gooey liquid when the marshmallow stops turning on the stick. You can turn the stick and it just kind of stays in place. If you continue on cooking the marshmallow much beyond this point it just falls off the stick into the fire. (Oh and it’s not terribly hot either. Marshmallows liquefy at a fairly moderate temperature. Try one yourself first and see.)
Now confidently stride up to your mark and present your marshmallow. Importantly she needs to take the whole thing into her mouth. The marshmallow will have a little mini explosion when she pushes it against the roof of her mouth with her tongue. The technical term for this is “Splucking”. Toasted marshmallows should spluck. Anyway if she bites into half of it, half of the gooey white stuff will end up dripping off her lips and chin. Which is a good look, but you really want to train her to swallow the whole thing.
You should get a look of genuine surprise and delight from anyone that hasn’t been previously splucked. Just maintain eye contact and smile a crooked naughty grin…
… “now imagine what I could do to you”.


  1. LOL! I believe sexualizing marshmallows puts you in an elite class of male thinkers. Head of the class is Joey Tribbiani with his Grandma's chicken salad. Too funny Athol… it's your humor that keeps we readers coming back for s'more.  ;o)

  2. Athol Kay says:

    I see a comment from Dick of Dick and Jane arrive in my email box, but somehow not appear here…. hmmm.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hilarious! I will remember this next time I get a marshmallow! ;)

  4. I'm having trouble with comments showing up on my site as well. Must be a Blogger issue… maybe all your marshmallow goo gummed up the works!

  5. Susan Walsh says:

    1. That graphic is hilarious! Is that Tipper Gore?
    2. I like the naughty grin and innuendo, but I don't think you can offer something as tasty as marshmallows. Just saying.

  6. Athol Kay says:

    Well the comments unfroze and all came together it seems.

    Try me Susan… try me. :-D

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