Useless As A Hat Full Of Busted Assholes

You can read the whole tale at Talk About Marriage, but I couldn’t help laughing at the cluelessness of the husband on this one.
“I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 2. We broke up after 4 years for 1 year, when he started making me less of a priority, so I left. We hardly have sex anymore maybe once every 3 months. I cant get him to do a thing of “man-like duties” around the house. Example for the past 6 months the outlet I use to charge my cell phone every night has become loose and the cord falls out of the outlet and I wake up to a dead cell phone, also the under cabinet lighting he installed (That he NEEDED) and been falling for over 3 years, I asked him to fix these things and he will either refuse, tell me I should figure out how to do myself because he is not my personal handyman, or tells me I better hire an electrician (HE IS AN ELECTRICIAN!!!..WE HAVE THE PARTS IN THE GARAGE!!) He is never romantic I will ask him what he loves about me, because honestly after 9 years i don’t know why. He tells me he loves my unconditional love for him…which is a nice way to say I put up with his crap”
I’ll stop the story there, but you can easily guess the rest of it – she works with this guy and…  so what should I do? I love my husband but I’m not in love with him. Yada yada yada.
I’ve posted in the past about fixing up things around the house. However a professional electrician that can’t fix the wiring in their own house may well be just too developmentally delayed to salvage.
Fixing unsafe electrical wiring is a Reasonable Request and he’s bumping back on it like it’s a Fitness Test. Consequence: He’s a total jerk. Outlook: Attorneys and Masturbation.
And yes, she’s probably nagging him like a sore tooth. But this is all a cautionary tale about how a First Officer will mutiny on a bad Captain. She’s turned into the de facto Captain and he’s defaulting to a crappy crewman. Plus all this acts as a counterpoint to much of what is being written on Game, he’s going to get the boot not simply because he isn’t Alpha enough – but because he also isn’t Beta enough.
Seriously. Fix an outlet cover, get laid and stay married. What’s so hard?


  1. Well, okay, there are times when women have every right to nag. I guess I have to agree. No amount of sex will fix that (though I think it could still buy him time if he was serious). It sounds like he has something (one) on the side or has lost his drive (at least for her). I have never been there, so I don't know. My partings were usually related to one of us needing or really wanting to move (for school, the military, or such).

    Nagging still won't help her or him, nor will get the work done though. A right, like the right to sex, can be abused. She should just call someone in.

    Uhm, all this is assuming she is being straight and level. Sometimes they are, sometimes women lie through there teeth and don't even seem aware of it. Hard to tell.

  2. Athol Kay says:

    Oh I think she is being fairly straight on this one and the electrical work undone has just turned into something far more than a simple 30 minute job. It starts being about the task and it slowly morphs into being a sound bite about "everything" that gets replayed over and over.

    Choosing to move or not move is obviously a much bigger and more meaningful issue than basic home repair.

    If she calls another electrican in, he will absolutely erupt on her most likely. And yes he did tell her to do that, but it would mean she's given up on him completely and communicated that to him. Marriage ender most likely.

    It all boils down to Unreasonable Requests are Fitness Tests and Reasonable Requests aren't. The trick is to learn which is which.

  3. Anonymous says:

    How 'bout, "Can I have your last beer?" Reasonable or unreasonable?

  4. Anonymous says:

    "How 'bout, "Can I have your last beer?" Reasonable or unreasonable?"

    A couple of options here. Response #1 is to give her a $10 bill, a swat on the butt, and instructions for what kind of beer to buy at the store.

    Or #2, let her have the beer and tell her you'll help her work off the calories a little later…

    I'd go with #2 myself.

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