Most Women Are Bad In Bed

I’ve read a few blogs recently that have stated little passing snippets that “most women are bad in bed”. I hadn’t thought much of it until I realized that I was seeing it here, there and everywhere.
The answer is yes it’s true, most women are bad in bed. As are most men.
One of the great things about being married is you have enough time to make a few mistakes and still correct things. Sometimes you just have a conversation about what is working or not working in the relationship and most particularly in the bedroom.
Jennifer and I have always had a good relationship, but it’s really been a series of long plateaus followed by leaps upwards in understanding. Especially in the bedroom it can take years to learn each others buttons and hot spots.
Sometimes you even change physiologically over the years as well. I remember back in my twenties my balls were too sensitive to touch during sex and I’d just tense up from it. Everything about touching them just resulted in a sensation of weird discomfort. At some point around age 30 they started feeling deliciously good from being played with. We had to talk about that seeing I had made it expressly clear in a couple of short sharp directives to Jennifer that they weren’t to be trifled with.
“I thought you hated that”.
“I thought I did too, it’s just different now somehow”.
“Well ok, I can do that”.
/tweaks balls
“(contented sigh)”
See. How complicated of a technique is that. Talking. Try it.
Now watch the video. Go on, it’s part of the flow of the post. Oh and while it isn’t freaky weird it’s probably NSFW either so be advised.
Many women like being tossed around the bedroom a bit. But you do have to have a conversation about it before you really roll the dice on this one. In this day and age it actually takes a lot more trust from the man than it does from the woman to engage in what amounts to basically vigorous vanilla sex.

So yeah if she happens to like the faux rape fantasy thing there are going to be a few times where it isn’t all that rapey and far more faux. But give it some time and six months later you both may have the move down and not be nearly as awkward. A reasonable minority of women like this sort of thing, a majority of women like “rough” sex. Pretty much all of them like it at least vigorous once in a while.
So you talk and you try new things - only about 30% of the things we have tried have really worked for us, but we have tried an awful lot of things. Sex is a team sport unless it’s masturbation. This is how you both get good with each other. I’m by no means a bad lay myself. But I do Jennifer much better than I would somebody I was having a first time with.
So yeah, most women are bad in bed… at first. But as long as they are into you and willing to learn, the sky is the limit. You just have to set that intention into your marriage.

Comments

  1. I often suggest that the reason women do not like sex is because, after a time, they realize they are good for it, not at it. Now, I believe that to a degree. I know, and have known, women who can perform magic. Some women could produce that fairly often, some were one shot things. I have enjoyed experimenting, but the faux rape thing… I just can't quite go there. Too close to something in me, a place I best not go. As for rough sex, all I have to do there is not be a bit careful. Something I prefer to be, careful that is.

    Interesting though. I know some of the above is a 'personal problem', some of it is the way of things. Oh, and I can be a bit of a pessimist. In any case, I enjoy sex whether she is good at it or not. In the last 15 years, I actually started to consider her (whoever she was). But I should add, many women cannot achieve orgasm with simple intercourse.

    It's late, I am tired, I blather… but I wanted to say something. As unorganized as that is, I think I said it.

  2. Deansdale says:

    I think it's a bit more complicated than that.
    The difference in sex rank between the two parties causes a difference in the behaviour of the woman. A woman who's a boring "dead frog" to his betaized husband will be a lot more active with his alpha lover.
    You can always hear stories from husbands about how sex was great at first but it got dull. It's partly because they let themselves be betaized and their wives don't find them exciting any more.
    On my journey towards alphaness I experienced this effect from both sides. Sometimes I was the hapless beta begging for more & better sex from an indifferent GF, and other times bored housewives did things to me they never did for their husbands.

  3. Athol Kay says:

    Doom – well the faux rape thing isn't for us either. We fall into the "rough" scheme of things.

    Agree with the inability for women to orgasm through intercourse alone as being common. Studys vary but it seems only ~ 30% of women have orgasmed from intercourse alone "ever". It's all to do with the promixity of the clitrous to the vagina, if it's placed a little too far away, it's near impossible to get them off without other assistance.

  4. Athol Kay says:

    Deansdale – lol you're quoting my own stuff to me! It's a spot on observation though. I've argued before that women calibrate their sexuality to the man they are with and can swing their Sex Rank +/- as much as 2 points to do so. The easy methods being effort on appearance and effort in bed.

    The limitations of individual posts for the loss.

  5. Myth Busting Feminazi says:

    Since you're a charter, I thought you might be interested in some myth-busting:

    What myths about menstruation do you think do us the most harm?
    Ovulation occurs on Day 14
    First and foremost, I’d say the myth that ovulation occurs on Day 14. Not only is this myth responsible for more unplanned pregnancies, but also for untold numbers of women not being able to conceive.

    The issue of unplanned pregnancies is huge. Unfortunately, most of us grow up hearing that the egg is released on Day 14, so if we just avoid that one day of our cycle, we can prevent pregnancy, right? Wrong! First of all, not all women ovulate on Day 14. Secondly, even if some women do ovulate on Day 14, the day of ovulation may vary from cycle to cycle. Thirdly, sperm can live up to 5 days inside the woman’s body, so if a woman has sex on Monday, she can still get pregnant that following Friday!

    The opposite ramification of this myth pertains to the issue of infertility, which can feel even more overwhelming for scores of women desiring to get pregnant. Again, a woman may ovulate on Day 14, but could just as well ovulate on any other day. So she could theoretically try for years to get pregnant by timing intercourse for that one mythical day, only to discover that she never ovulates then, but rather weeks later!

    A normal menstrual cycle is 28 days
    Actually, a normal menstrual cycle can vary from about 24-36 days. Not only do cycles vary substantially among girls and women, but they often vary within each individual person. There are numerous things that can impact a cycle. One of the most unfortunate results of this myth is the needless anxiety that it causes people who are led to believe over and over again that they may be pregnant because their periods are “late.”

    Link:
    http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/07/20/talking_menstruation_with_toni

  6. Athol Kay says:

    Actually once you really get to know a woman it becomes obvious when they are ovulating. It's a slight chance in dress and manner that gives it away.

  7. Athol Kay says:

    *change not chance

  8. You're OK as long as you tell her the safe word:

    ??? ????? ?? ????!

  9. My own philosophy is slightly different, although I think our differences are partly just semantics. I don't actually believe that there is such a thing as being "bad in bed" as long as your partner truly has your best interests in mind. The way some people rate sex, they imply it's some sort of performance, which it's not. It's a conversation. Despite what magazines try to tell women, there are no magical "10 tips to drive him wild". Everybody has their own preferences. Tell your partner yours. Ask your partner his or her preferences. Pay attention. Make an effort. That's what it comes down to, in the end.

  10. Thanatos says:

    "Myth Busting Feminazi said…
    Blah,blah,blah, diatribe about the magic bleeding vagina,blah,blah,blah,blah"

    Show us your tits,honey.

  11. Athol Kay says:

    Actually Thanatos she's quoting from Scarleteen, so she might be a bit underage to demand she show us her tits. ;-D

  12. Um, Myth Busting Feminazi, how does any of what you said have any relevance for those of us here, who have sex every day?

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