Sexy Move: Make The Bed Squeak

A few days ago I mentioned that most women like dirty talk in bed. Adding on to that, they just like bedroom noise in general. She wants to believe that you’re totally into her and breathless and out of control with lust for her.
One very simple tactic to make her think she’s being completely pounded into a pool of her own juices, is to find the right rhythm that makes the bed squeak. We have a pretty sturdy King Size wooden framed thing that took a awful lot of effort to get into the house and put together. It’s really solid. However when I’m on top of Jennifer there is a just right level of my movement I can do to make it start oscillating just a little and the whole thing starts making a five decibels above discreet squeaking noise. It’s kind of the same principle that high winds can rip a badly designed bridge apart by getting it slowly wobbling more and more. (See this is why you should have paid more attention in physics class)
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  1. LOL. I have no frame under my bed because I hate the squeak. But I am willing to bet I am the only one like that.

  2. Hey if it doesn't work for you that's 100% fine. Not everything is going to work for everyone.

    I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned that only around 30% of the stuff that Jennifer and I ever tried together actually works for us. Just gotta keep trying new things together.

    After a while that 30% pile starts getting a lot of fun stuff…

  3. Too true!! I love any kind of noise, and the less coherent it is, the better! My husband detests the bed squeaking though. He's kind of lame. Thanks for posting!

    Just started following you and LOVE the blog! It's nice knowing someone gets it!

  4. Thanks Mrs D. TELL HIM.

  5. I love that tip! I didn't even know it was a "good idea", I always just did it because it was fun. I have legitimately broken at least two beds that I can remember. And, really, it is nothing to fix them back up. If you need to loosen things for that right proper screech, and it ends up stripping screws, bolts, and such, just find the right sizes and keep a groping of them on hand. No biggy there. Though, trying more solid parts and or better metals might make it all really good anyway. Although, it is sort of fun, spooky, and interesting to keep going when the bed is broken (did that once, that I remember).

    Swing in that tree like a chimp, it isn't the only way to get the cherry, but it is a fun one.

  6. Ha, ha. Love each of these posts!

    But romantic does NOT= costs money. :-) Romantic= don’t have to worry about kids hearing you, dishes in the sink, homeschool curriculum to grade, team mom stuff to do, … You can really just relax and be wife and lover. But I think you know that, you’re just teasing. :)

    Hotel sex is so good because I don’t have to hear, “Shhh” from husband. I would probably quiet down if he would talk dirty to me just so I could hear what he has to say. Then again he drives me crazy

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