Married Man Sex Life
How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.
Just watch. Well worth it.
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From out of the mouths of babes and sucklings… not that he's either of course.
"The one does not fucking exist." — Way better then the "price of admission" concept.
I was amused that he talked about the "price of admission", and then the lie that is our outward self (our "actor" that we learn to use socially when we are young and is such a key to understanding body language fwiw), the sandwich example, and then holding each other to the higher bar. For me holding myself and my mate to the higher bar wouldn't be putting away the rotting food. But then I thought for a moment maybe that is an acceptable response for the more submissive member of the relationship. FWIW one aspect of being the man to me is identifying before your mate has to say something those things which are bothering her and you should really do. Like cleaning up your project (whether it be kitchen or other) area.
Much of the "small stuff" goes away with better communication. Some of the "medium stuff" may simply not go away or they have to put such a conscious effort into trying to address it that it exhausts them. The big stuff you may simply have to draw a line in the sand and let it play out one way or the other.
You just have to carefully decide what is the small, medium and big stuff.
A nice video, very insightful, thanks Athol
Love Dan Savage, thanks for the link
Savage is 100% correct. Sadly, this message is lost on two generations of single women who still believe in the "never settle" crap. These type of women are the perfect targets for cads and seducers. I actually encourage men to hump and dump the "I'll never settle" type of female.
Well the "never settle" concept is a little different. Why would anybody even want a partner to "settle" for them. My boyfriend has his price of admission (as do I), but I'm not settling for him because his good qualities are well worth it, and we love each other. I would never in a million years have "settled" for somebody that I didn't really want to be with out of some kind of fear of being alone. That would have been disrespectful to him, let alone myself.
That was my biggest reason for being offended by Lori Gottlieb's philosophy of settling (based on inteverviews, as I didn't read the book) wasn't that she urged women to consider dating bald men, or men with less than washboard abs, or men who don't have identical hobbies as us. My big beef with her (and that of other women I know) is that she implied that for a woman to consider such a man, she would be "settling". My guy does not look like an Abercrombie & Fitch model. I wouldn't want him to, either. Nor does he rake in the millions. That's fine, because I have no use for millions. I am so glad that some girl didn't settle for him before I met him because I think he is a sexy beast, and I'm thankful to have him in my life.
But Dan is talking about something different. He is talking about not getting fixated on a person's flaws, and being willing to notice what is best about them. It's easy to be a complainer, but little good ever came from it.
Space – I think the Lori Gottlieb concept of settling is that of someone that decides to sell their shares after the stock has tanked. She could have gotten a lot more for them five years ago, but she held onto them magically expecting the stock to rally. Now with the magical hope dashed by obvious reality, she recommends settling for what she can get.
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Brian C. Rideout
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