Part 2: And Sometimes It’s All Very Bad

As I said in my last post, I’m positive in mindset. However sometimes people are utterly nasty and you do have to defend yourself against them. Sometimes is even the people you love the most that do it. Sometimes the person you love the most.
I’ve also shared some wonderful success stories where things have turned around and become much better between a couple. But sometimes things aren’t so rosy.
Just had an email where things are very likely all heading down the path of lawyers and drama with little to no hope of diverting the path. That’s all very bad. But there’s a kicker that makes me step back and just wince with the evil of it. She asked him to get a vasectomy and he got one, then she asked for a divorce. I’m not even certain they had sex once after the vasectomy.
I think she planned that.
As I said to him in email – “I believe the vasectomy is simply because she hates you. Also it’s a great way to stop you from ever being able to start a family with a new woman. Right now she sees your role as being someone who is going to act as a wallet and nothing else. You hooking up with someone new means potentially less of your wallet being available. I would very much suggest seeing if your lawyer thought that had grounds for making a HUGE issue of that. That’s really wrong for her to have done. That was calculated.”
So when someone is lawyering up against you, you have to lawyer up too. Ideally with a better lawyer. You can’t sacrifice yourself for someone that no longer has your self interest at heart.
As I said before, I am positive in mindset. I do try and keep things light, playful and funny. Even silly at times. Joyful. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t a very serious blog.

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Comments

  1. Keoni Galt says:

    Holy shit Athol. That is one of the most screwed up divorce stories I've heard yet…

    You need to send that guy to these 2 links:

    http://www.dumpyourwifenow.com/2007/05/14/divorce-self-defense-101/

    http://www.dumpyourwifenow.com/2007/08/25/brutal-divorce-tactics-just-for-men-edition-released/

  2. Athol Kay says:

    No kidding Keoni. I've read an awful lot of horror stories and thats one of the worse ones.

    I'm twitchy about vasectomy to begin with, but if a couple wants to make that choice it's there's to make.

    But to just cut and run….

  3. Pickle says:

    That's terrible. When we got together almost 4 years ago, we weren't exactly sure about the more kids thing. He has 2 grown boys and I had a 9 month old at the time. He suggested getting a vasectomy at some point so that I didn't have to keep taking BC, but there is NO way I could ask him to do that. Not even if I got that pissed. Unreal.

    I can really see why some of my guy friends are so reluctant to get into a relationship. Some of(well I feel most)these women just cannot be trusted.

  4. Anonymous says:

    That shit is evil.

    Stories like that give me a twinge of sympathy for OJ and his ilk. You never hear of what pushed them over the edge.

  5. Antigone Amplified says:

    A shocking story. I have every sympathy for this reader's ordeal. What would motivate anyone to behave in such a way? Fear? Revenge? Who knows, only that one female. It would be useful to hear the other side of that story.

    The reason it shocks is that it's atypical and irrational, and thus, not a reason for people to avoid geting into conventional relationships with rational partners.

  6. Athol Kay says:

    I wish this sort of thing was truely an isolated incident. Unfortunately I am getting good at picking out the worst in human nature when marriages go sour.

    I'm pretty sure the vasectomy and then file for divorce isn't isolated to just this case.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I agree with you Athol, this calls for nothing less than a War of the Roses approach. If all the money gets spent on lawyers, so be it. Great evil requires drastic action.

  8. themacnut68 says:

    Yeah, but let's not forget that in War of the Roses, both divorcing spouses ended up dead…

  9. Anonymous says:

    You can get those reversed now a days,
    I got mine reversed after 8 years, and 2 months later my wife is pregnant with our first child.

    Wile it is a shitty thing to do to a guy and I am not for one movement saying don't fuck her over for it big time , if he does want more kids then it's not the end of the world.

    FL

  10. Athol Kay says:

    They can't always be reversed successfully.

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