I am 36, she 34, married for 12 years, have 2 kids. I am pretty alpha, but well balanced with beta. My alphaness has fallen in the last couple of years, but not below the “acceptable” level. Basically, this is the situation:
She has been on a total hotness kick and has succeeded. she is getting lots of attention from other men, including the 25 year old bodybuilders I hang out with. This is making her VERY sexual and VERY confident. This sexuality and confidence are new to her, she is waking up from the Mother/wife role and into the hot woman role. She is not cheating on me at this point, but it is only a matter of time and opportunity. She has her eye on one guy, a 25 year old “super-alpha” with mad game.
Over this past weekend, our sex went wild. She has always been sexually reserved and this week she wanted it everyday and talking VERY dirty. Mentioned spicing it up and floated a trial balloon about me “spicing it up” with another woman. I interpreted this as a back door suggestion to see if I would reciprocate. I threw it back on her and she is indeed interested in sex with another guy. She won’t say who, but I am sure it is “super-alpha” because she “innocently” brought him up 5 or 6 times over the weekend and got a babysitter for Thursday so she could come to bowling night where he will be and Facebook messaged him that she had. He would not try to steal her away, but would definitely hit it a few times.
Thats pretty much where I am, looking at all the options. scared and excited, nervous and horny. Any input would be GREATLY appreciated.
I would think you need to nip this in the bud asap. I’ve covered a lot of this ground on The Hot Wife Fantasy post a few days back. She’s excited sexually because she’s really into the fantasy of sex with Mr. Super-Alpha. Which is understandable on some levels, but would badly damage the marriage of course. I would think you need to have a sit down talk with her that you can see she is sexually turned on, but that if she does anything with him you will file for divorce. Her sexual interest is normal though, I wouldn’t shame her for that, just she can’t act on it without you bringing severe consequences to bear.
You being horny is a natural response to her increased sexuality and as a sperm wars competition thing. It’s a normal reaction, but clearly you don’t want her to sleep with him.
Also “Alpha” is relative. If you’re hanging with a super alpha, he’s the Alpha Male of the Group. Which makes you a beta relative to him. Not good. You both need to break off contact with these guys. The point of contact of them and your wife is you, so you’re creating the environment that cheating can happen in. You’re facilitating the other man getting to your wife.
The Facebook connection is very worrying, there’s no reason she should be messaging him and setting up babysitting to be with him. I’d expect that he has been purposely working on her behind the scenes for a while. He’s probably been talking him “up” and talking you “down” to her for weeks. You say you don’t think he wants to steal her, just tap it a few times…. dude that is going to steal her from you. He’s simply not your friend.
I don’t think bowling on Thursday is a good idea. Suggest an alternate plan for the two of you. Anything would be better.
I don’t believe she has cheated yet either. But you must take direct action now to ensure that the door you have opened is shut.