I am 36, she 34, married for 12 years, have 2 kids. I am pretty alpha, but well balanced with beta. My alphaness has fallen in the last couple of years, but not below the “acceptable” level. Basically, this is the situation:
She has been on a total hotness kick and has succeeded. she is getting lots of attention from other men, including the 25 year old bodybuilders I hang out with. This is making her VERY sexual and VERY confident. This sexuality and confidence are new to her, she is waking up from the Mother/wife role and into the hot woman role. She is not cheating on me at this point, but it is only a matter of time and opportunity. She has her eye on one guy, a 25 year old “super-alpha” with mad game.
Over this past weekend, our sex went wild. She has always been sexually reserved and this week she wanted it everyday and talking VERY dirty. Mentioned spicing it up and floated a trial balloon about me “spicing it up” with another woman. I interpreted this as a back door suggestion to see if I would reciprocate. I threw it back on her and she is indeed interested in sex with another guy. She won’t say who, but I am sure it is “super-alpha” because she “innocently” brought him up 5 or 6 times over the weekend and got a babysitter for Thursday so she could come to bowling night where he will be and Facebook messaged him that she had. He would not try to steal her away, but would definitely hit it a few times.
Thats pretty much where I am, looking at all the options. scared and excited, nervous and horny. Any input would be GREATLY appreciated.
I would think you need to nip this in the bud asap. I’ve covered a lot of this ground on The Hot Wife Fantasy post a few days back. She’s excited sexually because she’s really into the fantasy of sex with Mr. Super-Alpha. Which is understandable on some levels, but would badly damage the marriage of course. I would think you need to have a sit down talk with her that you can see she is sexually turned on, but that if she does anything with him you will file for divorce. Her sexual interest is normal though, I wouldn’t shame her for that, just she can’t act on it without you bringing severe consequences to bear.
You being horny is a natural response to her increased sexuality and as a sperm wars competition thing. It’s a normal reaction, but clearly you don’t want her to sleep with him.
Also “Alpha” is relative. If you’re hanging with a super alpha, he’s the Alpha Male of the Group. Which makes you a beta relative to him. Not good. You both need to break off contact with these guys. The point of contact of them and your wife is you, so you’re creating the environment that cheating can happen in. You’re facilitating the other man getting to your wife.
The Facebook connection is very worrying, there’s no reason she should be messaging him and setting up babysitting to be with him. I’d expect that he has been purposely working on her behind the scenes for a while. He’s probably been talking him “up” and talking you “down” to her for weeks. You say you don’t think he wants to steal her, just tap it a few times…. dude that is going to steal her from you. He’s simply not your friend.
I don’t think bowling on Thursday is a good idea. Suggest an alternate plan for the two of you. Anything would be better.
I don’t believe she has cheated yet either. But you must take direct action now to ensure that the door you have opened is shut.
“I know that fantasy, best avoided IMO, it could have happened with a friend of mine everyone was in the right head space for it to happen, but my alarm bells went off in a big way and I overrode my dick that time.
As it happens the now X friend had been plotting to take my wife away from me, not that he would have succeed, but found out later he had been majorly poisoning the well behind my back.
Avoid that one like the plague guys.”
If there’s a particular guy that’s in mind for a threesome or cuckold experience, there’s a pretty good chance that the other man has been stirring the pot behind your back with your wife all along.
I would not regard that as “friendship” despite how ever long you have known him. Agree with cutting him out of your life.
Dad passed away peacefully this morning. There will be a gathering of some sort and New Zealand is simply too far to go to make it in time. As such I planned ahead and wrote this farewell piece several weeks back for when it was needed. He was still able to read it then and understand.
Everything I wrote about my father is true. Only after I finished the piece did I realize that everything I had written was also about me. Or at least what I would like to be true about me. Much of the content of our lives is different, but the style is so much the same.
To Whom It May Concern.
Please allow me to introduce Warwick Kay. Warwick has been working in his chosen field for some 65 years, spending the last 40 of them in my employment. As he is undecided on his next career move, this letter of reference will have to remain general in tone. Suffice to say I firmly believe that in whatever capacity he is employed in the future, he will remain as well liked, productive and diligent as he has been with us these many years.
Warwick is a man of remarkable intelligence and thought. Despite a lack of formal higher education he has a way of finding a new approach to old problems that often solves them. Likewise while he is grounded in what is possible and is free of magical thinking, he is not afraid to dream up something big. Simply put, if Warwick says something can be done, despite the appearance of his idea being impossible to outsiders, he can actually follow through and do it.
Warwick is fiercely competitive. He will with dogged determination do whatever it takes to find a way to win, whether that takes a single try or the better part of a decade to breakthrough to the pinnacle, he will keep hammering at it. Though he is competitive that zest for victory comes with a keen sense of fair play and what is right. Not only will he beat you within the rules, he sticks to the spirit of the rules’ intention too.
Warwick has an excellent sense of humor and fun. His personal hygiene is adequate.
Warwick is also generous with his willingness to offer help when asked. He offers advice without seeking manipulation of the asker into somehow benefiting himself.
Warwick is a builder. Whether that be; a terraced garden where there was just a wicked sloping backyard, an International level Go-Kart track where there was a swamp, a top quality bed and breakfast where there was just a house, or a friendship where there were strangers, he always leaves where he has been placed better off for his passing through.
As minor counterpoints to this glowing report; occasionally boisterousness has resulted in uncalled for wear and tear to company vehicles, also his sick day use recently has been somewhat excessive.
Mum and Dad met on a blind date and were married 45 years. Dad tried his best to overcome the cancer and played a good defense for over two years. Mum nursed him at home until the end.
Had a reader suggest as part of a self plan to “Alpha Up” to “work out and train for a marathon”.
I’m going to say yes and no to that idea. On one hand physical fitness is a definite good thing. If a woman’s got a choice between spreading her legs for a couch potato or a marathon runner, the marathon runner gets the bedroom eyes. Plus Jennifer said something in passing that “endurance is good” and I understand that too.
But consider this little matrix;
Cardio = Running = Flight = Beta
Muscle = Weights = Fight = Alpha
It doesn’t really turn a woman on to know that if the “bad guys” come, you can out run her.
By all means do a sport or activity that is going to improve your cardiovascular fitness, but you will get much better traction on pulling her sexual interest by developing and maintaining a proper muscle mass and tone. Essentially the only route to really achieving that is by some sort of weights routine.
Not only that but you will feel the difference in as little as a month of doing weights and carry yourself better. The goal is not to turn yourself into a muscle bound hulk, but something akin to Michelangelo’s David. Though pay no attention to the size of his penis, he’s made of marble, so obviously he’s quite cold.
(Hang on… what the hell did Jennifer mean by that?!?)