“I saw you made this comment in response to someone else:
“You’re confusing the woman being pleased with the woman being attracted.”
I think that’s worth expanding on. I know that for me, personally, I’ll often try to NOT piss her off, assuming she’ll be more open to sex if she’s “happy” with me…but then, maybe that’s the problem.”
…in part I was teasing my friend Susan Walsh. I was amused that she was clutching her pearls and telling me off about flirting when she writes about hooking up. Her blog makes me feel like an old fuddy-duddy sometimes. Even more amusing was the commenter that started somewhat slut-shaming a female friend that brought me a bagel. I the Lord of Play have used my ultra super powers of pussy control and finessed myself a free bagel. That’s right people, I had a bagel with everything and I am shameless in my enjoyment of it. Hmmmmm morally-compromised-bagel-of-the-dark-side… DROOL!
So… anyway yes – this can be a problem. In general the short term gain of submitting to her is that she is pleased by her small victory and whatever that gains her. But women are attracted to dominant men that aren’t weak. So over the long term you can destroy her sexual interest in you. Which leads to her greater and greater disdain for you and she becomes harder and harder to please.
As an example. If we were kids at school and I said to you, “please give me your lunch, it would make me happy if you gave me your lunch” it’s a clearly unreasonable request, but if you comply and hand over your lunch, we’ve established that I can make unreasonable demands on you and get them met. Fast forward a few weeks I’m going to want your lunch and $5. Fast forward a few years it’s going to be your lunch whenever I feel like it, $20 whenever I feel like it, and hold these drugs for me. You could be as nice to me as you want, I really wouldn’t give a damn what you thought you wanted. You’d simply be acting docile and submissive in order to not be abused. If my goal is to have you act docile submissive 24/7 then you’d be doing exactly what I wanted anyway. So there would be no actual need to provide you with whatever the reward you sought was.
Nice guys fold on their wives making unreasonable requests all the time and just carry out her commands. They hope sex will be forth coming, but it rarely does as she has no need to dole any out. They are already whimpering to fulfill her every wish anyway, giving them sex would only make them less motivated to do so. That just might satiate them and make them less productive. Acting like the Genie of the Lamp and granting her wishes does please her in the short term, but it does not attract her over the long term.
In some ways women make absolutely no sense on this issue, but it’s not a requirement to understand why they act as they do. Bumping back on her unreasonable demands is easily testable and generally provides an increase in her sexual interest in you. I don’t know exactly how a TV works either, but I know how to turn one on.
She’ll be pissed in the short term of course. 🙂