Fried Tofu Explain Yourself

So we had our Nursing Christmas party / December staff meeting at a restaurant called “It’s Only Natural”It sounded good to me because I’m just fine with natural foods. If things get too processed they just aren’t all that nice and half the chain restaurants load up everything with MSG anyway which… well, lets just say my body has a well established violent protocol for MSG exposure. So I’m excited about the party…
… and I get there and it’s frakking vegetarian bordering on vegan.
Do. Not. Want.
Buy Me!

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Sounds like all that soy-estrogen gave you PMS ;)

  2. Anonymous says:

    HAHA I can't believe the word "frakking" was just in the same sentence as the word "vegetarian." For the record, there are plenty of athletic men out there who know that meat isn't always the best for looking hot. Meat actually makes certain things not taste so good… Replacing meat with pineapple juice is a wise choice for some men.

  3. Michele says:

    LOL– Neal chuckle too.

  4. David Collard says:

    "Why does everyone have so many tatoos here that a pirate would feel self-conscious?"

    Great line.

  5. Miles Anderson says:

    Not all vegan/vegetarian food is soy. Not all soy is bad. See if they know if they have fermented soy. Often they don't, which is amusing in itself for a health conscious restaurant.

    I thought the ratio between nerve endings and fat in guys nipples was higher then a womans. Yea, you won't have change over time.

    I think some of your colonial background is showing through. The veggies and the onions won't hurt ya'! And, BTW, remember to fart out loud even when your girls around. You are a man, right?!

  6. elhaf says:

    I don't make allowances for picky eaters like that at, say, thanksgiving. It's meat or nothing for you! Yes there's meat in the cherry pie!

  7. Not grossed out this time says:

    Funniest post ever.

  8. Anonymous says:

    And you can just bet that a majority of the people you were eating with ALSO thought that vegan restaurant was awful. But there was one vegetarian in the bunch who whined and bitched until everyone decided to be nice and accomodate her. (Because of course real restaurants NEVER serve vegetarian dishes — oh, wait, they DO!)

    Stick to your guns next year. Suggest a steakhouse and the veggie-lover can have the broiled mushroom.

  9. Anonymous says:

    "broiled mushroom"

    Too funny!

  10. Meat and potatoes says:

    A dedicated-cuisine restaurant ("Italian," "vegan," "Thai," etc.) is the WORST choice because people either love it or hate it.

    And seriously, they give you a lady's gift every holiday? I'd be talking with HR about that. Isn't it some sort of sexism/discrimination if they don't acknowledge that you have a penis?

  11. Susan Walsh says:

    Athol, thanks for a very funny post. I too loved the pirate comment, and also laughed heartily at the whole wheat frisbee.

  12. Badger Nation says:

    "So anyway it's food, so whatever, I can survive a lunch. Mostly though, I don't like being made to feel like a "male nurse" by people I think of as my friends. Especially after all the work I've done to make things better and easier for them all. Grrrr."

    "And seriously, they give you a lady's gift every holiday? I'd be talking with HR about that. Isn't it some sort of sexism/discrimination if they don't acknowledge that you have a penis?"

    You've both hit on something that sort of pisses me off. Newsweek's silly-ass article about "redefining masculinity" told men to get into female-oriented fields, which itself was a sexist theory because it rested on the idea that bringing men into a profession raises its perception in society. (The fields they are talking about are pretty clearly nursing, teaching, childcare and clerical work.)

    As women have moved up the corporate ladder, men have been expected to change their behavior to accommodate the gals. Tone down the frat-guy talk, be more understanding of family needs, diversity initiatives, female worker support groups, psychological profiling seminars to effect communication style changes, etc etc.

    Meanwhile, I don't really see a lot of interest for male input in female-dominated fields. Where's the diversity movement to make (straight) men comfortable in elementary schools or secretary pools? This is another example, they think it's funny to emasculate you and give you a holiday party favor only your wife can use (and take you to a restaurant where meat is not served).

  13. Athol Kay says:

    Not going to HR over a Christmas gift lol.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Nice anti-vegetarian rant

    'I don't like being made to feel like a "male nurse" by people I think of as my friends.'

    Haha I didn't pick it up that you are a male nurse until this post. Thing is, you decided to be one, which made it funny reading you bitch about not getting enough meat.

  15. Demonspawn says:

    "Newsweek's silly-ass article about "redefining masculinity" told men to get into female-oriented fields, which itself was a sexist theory because it rested on the idea that bringing men into a profession raises its perception in society."

    Actually, I read a study on this very phenomenon a few years back. It was a study brought up to me in a masculinist/feminist debate I was part of as "proof" that we discriminate against women because (as the study showed) as more women entered certain job fields the prestige lowered and wages lowered. Well, that was the abstract. I read the study tho, including all the data the authors ignored ;)

    What you say in your next paragraph is exactly what happened in these fields! The women, through lawsuits, threatened lawsuits, and social pressure changed the "work-friendly" male-dominated fields into "family(female)-friendly" fields which:
    1) reduced pay as workers were now more expensive.
    2) reduced output which further drove wages down
    3) drove men out as they left the job fields to seek job fields where higher wages (read: more money to attract women) were available.

    These 3 effects worked in a cycle until the fields became female-dominated.

    Now, I'm guessing Newsweek either never read the report, or thinks it will work in reverse. Unfortunately, it won't.

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