If You Want A Personal Fuck Toy You Have To Be Willing To Be An Asshole

One of the primary insights of the Game viewpoint – and truthfully this is just basic behavioral analysis rather than specific to Game – is not that you stop listening to women, but that you pay attention to their actions as their actual message.
For example imagine if a mom is in a grocery store and with a toddler asking for candy. The mom says “no” and the toddler starts crying, the mom says “no” again and the crying gets louder and louder until finally the mom relents and buys candy. The verbal message here is “no candy”, but the actual message from her actions is “if you cry I will give you candy“. As a result the kid throws a fit for candy every time they go to the grocery store. If she just calmly listens to the tears and leaves the store, the kid has to follow or be left behind. The message then is “no candy and crying doesn’t work”.
Unfortunately most men are dumber than toddlers when it comes to women…
Buy Me!

Comments

  1. Aha, most provocative; I take it you are tweaking the noses of all the "feminists" in your readership with this one. Watch for the angry responses to roll in on this one…

    But really, if you only need a woman for sex, than why on earth marry? It's definitely work, trouble, and expense for both men and women. Are you changing your pro-marriage stance somewhat?

    Can we ladies also refer to our men as our personal fuck toys? I (teasingly) will call my husband "bitch boy" sometimes.

  2. My personal fav is when a girl tells me I am a total jerk and why can't I be more like the nice guys she knows while lying naked in bed with me.

    Mwah! Ladies, I love you.

    By the way, Athol, I'd appreciate a post on some of the beta stuff that you've found has maximum impact.

  3. "why on earth marry?"
    The only – and I mean ONLY – reason to marry is if you want kids.

    Maybe I'm a bitter old man now but I reckon I'd marry only if the first kid is already on the way. (And I'd demand a paternity test :)

  4. Must be true love if all she is to you is a fuck toy.

  5. Personally, I like the idea of a fucktoy who'd be fun to have breakfast with later, but that's just me. Gotta have something emotional to fill the void of the refractory period.

    In all seriousness, I've articulated a similar point to a few women in my life, as well (not ones I was sleeping with, just friends). The only thing I need from women that I can't get elsewhere for less effort is sex. The difference between the live-in fucktoy and the disposable fucktoys is whether or not "fucktoy" is the only part of their personality, and/or if that part of them is not up to code.

    Before the feminists crawl out of the woodwork and demand you redact or restate this, refer them to the entire body of work preceding this on the blog involving, say, respect, loyalty, love, and other beta traits.

  6. You always have to remember that Jennifer edits my posts.

    Jennifer clearly has standards she expects me to adhere to.

    I'm married for the sex, the kids are a natural consecquence of that. I do love my kids and am a good Dad to them.

    I am profoundly good around the house.

  7. You've got a great blog here, but this post isn't your finest. I think the feminists that have commented lately have tweaked you a bit and now you are protesting too much.

    Are you saying that when you and Jennifer are 70 years old and your dick doesn't work so good anymore, your marriage will be a pile of shit because you won't be able to have sex like you used to anymore? Really?

  8. Pair bonding's a powerful thing, and if Athol's dick doesn't work with his wife at 70, it won't be working for anyone else either, so there'll be no reason for him to give up on the marriage. I'm sure he likes Jennifer quite a lot, and if they continue doing it at their current rate, the chemicals will make sure he likes her even more by then. Athol's been over all this before, both anecdotally and scientifically.

  9. Athol, I don't quite understand where you're coming from, so please clarify a couple points.

    First, you say that your "kids are a natural consequence" of sex. Do you mean that you didn't want them and they just (oops!) happened?

    Secondly, you are "married for the sex," but how did you know that you and Jennifer were compatible sex-wise if you didn't sleep together until the wedding? Is that where all the beta traits and such come into play? Finding a compatible mate to also have sex with?

  10. Barring medical incident I'm sure Jennifer and I will be still playing with each other at 70. I'm pretty clear that I won't tolerate no sex without a reasonable cause, but I've already proved I can totally support Jennifer through low and no sex periods when she has been dealing with very a rough pregnancy and her breast issues.

    Actually Lisa I've struggled slightly with wanting more kids than Jennifer. I've sometimes wanted more in recent years and she's wanted to hold at two.

    Personally I think a man is on the hook for as many children as a wife wants to have once married. I think the wife generally controls the kid number and can become absolutely hostile if the husband interferes with that. I got married expecting to have kids.

    Jennifer and I had explored with mutual masturbation before the wedding on our visits together. Two weeks before the wedding when I arrived into America we went all the way. So I think we had reasonable proof we would work out. We are each others first and only for full sex through which is what most studes support as being of benefit.

    In many many many ways the first year of marriage was figuring each other out and finding a way to live together. In some ways we married first, then sorted out the details in a Hail Mary throw that just happened to work out. In one sense we have an arranged marriage rather than a traditional one, but we did the arranging. I don't generally advise that approach to anyone though.

  11. OMG! What a great post. Marriage Game reduced to such simplicity. After thinking about the times of lack, or the times of abundance of it my marriage over the years; I realize you are completely right. All it is the options for the Hubby (Alpha Male). No options=no sex from wifey Options=sex.

    Thanks. My own personal fuck toy. What a great gift for Xmas!! I can't wait to use this.

  12. What is the point of expressing it this way? Women want to be loved, and despite all the chest pounding and sack grabbing if you have a good relationship then there is love there. Artificially reducing it to sex with byproducts is going to come back and bite you in the ass when doubts about your love creep into her mind. The trick is to let her know subtly that you do love her, to keep her guessing to keep it interesting, not reduce it to the most elemental physical act as if that's all you ever wanted and you are just tolerating the rest.

  13. Athol, the problem with your reasoning is that once a man gets married, he cannot simply walk. The wife knows she can punish him harshly in divorce court. The price is very high.

    Höllenhund

  14. It's not so bad in Connecticut Hollenhund. I've run the math and I'd do okay.

  15. "Athol, the problem with your reasoning is that once a man gets married, he cannot simply walk"

    True. But, on the same hand, it's not even so much the possibility walking that does the trick… it's having other options.

    What turns women on?
    Believe it or not, men do not turn women on. What turns a woman on is beating the other women that that man has as an option when he chooses her.

    So, knowing that, it's not so much ability/willingness to walk that will keep your wife as your fuck toy, it's her knowledge that you could, should you want to, have women other than her. That waitress that you flirted with and turned into a puddle yet you're having sex with the wife instead is what makes your wife hot for you.

  16. Not a Feminist, but.... says:

    "That waitress that you flirted with and turned into a puddle yet you're having sex with the wife instead is what makes your wife hot for you."

    Some women get furious when their men flirt with other women and refuse to have sex with them because of it.

    I don't think men will have to worry too much longer. More and more women I meet don't want kids. They like their space, their free time, their internet. More and more women are not seeing a good reason to get married anymore either.

    I have a very handsome male friend who is always complaining that the women he meets don't want kids. He's in his late 30s and wants kids before 40. He dates women between the ages of 22-40 and none of them want kids!

    And these are women who have not even had any kids before. They don't want kids – period.

    I told him he might have better luck with a single mom, she might be more open to having another one, but then he pointed out to me all the single moms we know who are dating childless guys who want kids and those single moms don't want to have more so they dump those guys when those guys push the issue.

    I think the internet has a lot to do with it. I know that I feel "fuller" now that it's in my life and have zero desire to go out on weekends.

    I prefer to cozy up with my lap top and herbal tea come Saturday night. I can watch movies for free, skype with my best friends, comment here, who needs more?

  17. "I just have zero tolerance for being married to someone and not having a sex life for any proper reason. Sex is why I married. Married Man = Sex Life. I am an asshole about this, but I'm an easily understandable asshole. I really did explain this clearly before I married her."

    As an unmarried man who has by no means ruled out the bondage of matrimony, this is one of the most powerful insights I've gleaned from your blog and one I will definitely put into play if/when I plan for marriage. A non-sexual marriage? Screw that! (no pun intended.) It's totally unacceptable, and stories of sexless marriages should literally shock us. Unfortunately it's become blase and in a lot of cases a punchline. A sexless marriage is not monogamy, it's no-gamy.

  18. Actually I completely forgot that great line Badger! I should use that as a quote somewhere in the book. Thanks!

  19. Anonymous says:

    This article lost me, talking about your wife like a sex toy. And this:

    "Obviously this can make a wife extremely nervous and naturally Game will be viewed with great suspicion because it advantages the husband. There doesn't even have to be an actual woman waiting in the wings like an understudy quietly poisoning the leading lady. Just the skill set available to replace the leading lady with minimal inconvenience"

    So she's replaceable to you, and you actually think Game is all it takes to make a lasting marriage, a convenant? I swear, I need to just stop visiting non-Christian sites; they always end up disappointing me. I used to think game was a new system of manipulating women, then realized it was just a way of explaining basic attractive masculinity to men who weren't very smooth. But the words here are why I hate some of the attitudes behind it; this article does sound like it's all about manipulating women, treating whichever woman you have at the moment as a replaceable fuck-hag, and not even regretting divorce like you'd deserve. I take back my words to her, she's not lucky. Putting the dick in front of everything else will never win true, permnanent blessings.

    "It's about her missing out on you if she doesn't"

    I miss out on nothing with bastards like that.

    Jennifer

  20. pdwalker says:

    Wow Jennifer,

    Didn't you miss the point of this website (and this post) by a long mile.

  21. Athol Kay says:

    Pdwalker – she kept reading and reading and reading and reading… so I think she likes it.

    She warmed up to me a fair bit eventually. :-)

  22. pdwalker says:

    Fair enough.

    I suppose if I had come in cold turkey to this post, I may have felt something similar.

  23. Athol Kay says:

    No one likes the taste of the red pill at first. :-)

  24. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for that acknowledgement, pd.

    Yes Athol, I did warm up to many of your posts :) Acting like your wife is replaceable is not the red pill; the basic red pill is this: "I am attracted to strong men but I want them to be nice to just me and not dump me for someone else". I've known about that red pill for some time re what game really is about, and I've known about women wanting strong men for much longer! Since I was five, to be exact. Of course, I get that you don't find Jennifer replaceable; I understand more about you both now. But you must understand that that kind of language, and the indication in the post, is generally very upsetting to a woman.

    The fact of women wanting strong men, and your advice of being loving, changing yourself, being assertive, being confident, being forgiving, not caving, not being stupid, having sharp judgement, and all things similar is what makes this blog so damn succesful, and for good reason; it's natural law. Seeing the better parts of your advice, and your heart, were what calmed me after reading this post. And knowing game gives you options is good for a single guy. But in marriage, seeing the spouse as replaceable at all is bad, even the hint of it from a man (you don't see Jenn that way, but I worry about other secular men). A marriage should be a covenant, open and honest; the problems I've had here have been with the occasional advice to play head or heart games, especially if they're disrespectful, condescending or deceptively manipulative. I see love as needing to be more permanent, marriage as something major; occasionally the attitude I see hinted at here is, "Work for the best in marriage and if it doesn't work out, divorce and move on *nonchalant shrug*. And don't stress too much, game gives you other women as options." You seem to see love, or the people we love, as ultimately replaceable if need be. It's no wonder women like you but not always your suggestions; your personality is one of helpfulness and warmth, but the suggestions sometimes clang to me. I respect the good you do very much, but I naturally have some strong disagreements.

    Anyway, I'm glad I was wrong about your intentions towards your wife here. It does surprise me that so many men have been mistaken about how to appear to women, but as that one article you linked to so brilliantly explained, things have been messed up and confused in the fight for "equality". And not just for women and men; look at how scared people are of even appearing to generalize black people now. Or Muslims, God forbid. A lot of game on other sites, too, gets muddied and therefore unattractive to women.

    Jennifer 6

  25. Point on! This does not apply to all women, so bitches calm down. In addition to the fuck toys, there are Dommes, Princesses and Mothers. The author is right, simply watch and determine how you should proceed, if she is something you want. As for the one comment about why marry, good question for any situation outside of those tied to religious tradition. I have been around for many years. With the slaves who serve Me, I agree in terms that if they are to serve you, then be strong. Otherwise they will eat you for dinner.

    M

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