If You Want A Personal Fuck Toy You Have To Be Willing To Be An Asshole

One of the primary insights of the Game viewpoint – and truthfully this is just basic behavioral analysis rather than specific to Game – is not that you stop listening to women, but that you pay attention to their actions as their actual message.
For example imagine if a mom is in a grocery store and with a toddler asking for candy. The mom says “no” and the toddler starts crying, the mom says “no” again and the crying gets louder and louder until finally the mom relents and buys candy. The verbal message here is “no candy”, but the actual message from her actions is “if you cry I will give you candy“. As a result the kid throws a fit for candy every time they go to the grocery store. If she just calmly listens to the tears and leaves the store, the kid has to follow or be left behind. The message then is “no candy and crying doesn’t work”.
Unfortunately most men are dumber than toddlers when it comes to women…
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Sexy Move: Lie That You Just Want To Spoon

I’ve read the “what to do when your wife won’t have sex with you” post and the post on sexual teasing. Question: do I have to kick her out of the sack, or will a simple non-response do the trick? She refused my advances for sex and then asked to be spooned. Without a word, I just rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I’d only be so dramatic as to kick her out of bed if she did that nonsense thing of getting you halfway there and just stopped on you for no reason. Or having you work on her until she comes and then there’s nothing for you. I think it’s a fairly reasonable assumption that you’d be royally pissed off by that and failing to show that sort of natural reaction would be quite odd.
However she didn’t actually ask you to not touch her, in fact what she did do was ask was for you to touch her… with her in a somewhat submissive position. So I wonder if she just wanted more of a warm up.
I think in this case you might have been just better to play it up cocky and funny and said, “by spooning you mean rubbing your ass on my cock right? I would love to spoon with you. It’s so hot when you initiate.”  If she smiles and complies you probably got her halfway to a yes.
Once spooning you have a lot of skin pressed against each other and there’s plenty of opportunity to kiss the back of her neck, rub her ass, stroke her boobs gently and so on. Pulling her hair up and out of the way to get a good expanse of neck opened up is nice too. If she’s letting you do that it’s a good sign. Any little “contented sigh” is a good sign. Snuggling deeper into you is a good sign.
Keep stroking and playing with her until she relents or you get a firm “no”. It’s also possible to keep talking to her the whole time about the intense emotional connection the two of you share. It’s like a spiritual bond free of the base primitive needs to rut like a wild animal, it’s a precious special thing when the love you have for her surpasses the need to simply mount her like a stallion and fill her with seed blah blah blah, while the whole time you slowly grind your hard cock against her ass. Just keep talking until she starts laughing and rolls onto her back which is essentially the signal to go for her pussy. Kiss down her body and start with oral.
Of course if she does say no, it’s a no. It’s okay to hug for a bit, but break it early with a “sorry baby I’m just horny and cuddling is a bit of a tease tonight”.
The you ten second kiss her.
Then you say “I love you”.  Like you mean it. Not as an act. Never say those words as an act. Always with true and full emotion to your wife.
“But if you change your mind…. I’m the naked guy to your right”.  Keep it light and playful. Smile.
Then you roll over and head off to sleep.
But if she touches you after that… I would take that as her asking for sex. No words, just roll over and start up your best Cockzilla routine.
So anyway, spooning is a great way to get yourself in a perfect position to turn into a filthy octopus with hands everywhere. I think Jennifer gave up on spooning as “just cuddling” years ago. If I asked her “maybe we could just spoon” she’d just start laughing at me. I think after getting her ass coated in an ounce of pre-cum she just thinks actual sex is less mess. I mean after five minutes of spooning her ass looks like a glazed donut. I could eat that.

It’s OK To Be A Man

Men are taller than women.

If I just post that and walk away, someone is going to jump into the comments and point out that I am small minded and offensive. Clearly there some very tall women and simply stating that “men are taller than women” is simply sexist. My poor reader simply couldn’t imagine living with such a bigot as myself who believes that men are taller than women. After all she is quite tall herself and she knows a man that is of average height that she is taller than.

Then should I happen to mention that I am quite tall and Jennifer quite short… well then some readers wonder if Jennifer is okay trapped in a marriage with my offensive tallness. Frankly it seems like I may be making her short on purpose. I might be despicable.

So anyway… the truth is just as we all know. There are some taller men and some shorter men, plus some taller women and some shorter women. There are two bell curves of height – one for men and one for women and the male bell curve is clearly higher than the female one.

So another statement…

Women are attracted to taller men. Especially men taller than themselves.

This is again quite true. It’s a fairly rare couple where the wife is taller than the husband, the overwhelming majority of couples have a taller husband than wife. Far more so than random chance would suggest.


And on to a more pointed statement…

Men are more naturally dominant than women in personal relationships.

If I just post that and walk away, someone is going to jump into the comments and point out that I am small minded and offensive. Clearly there some very dominant women and simply stating that “men are more naturally dominant than women” is simply sexist. My poor reader simply couldn’t imagine living with such a bigot as myself who believes that men are more dominant than women. After all she is quite dominant herself and she knows a man that is submissive that she is more dominant than.

Then should I happen to mention that I am quite dominant and Jennifer quite submissive… well then some readers wonder if Jennifer is okay trapped in a marriage with my offensive dominance. Frankly it seems like I may be making her submissive on purpose. I might be despicable.

So anyway… the truth is just as we all know. There are some dominant men and some submissive men, plus some dominant women and some submissive women. There are two bell curves of dominance and submission – one for men and one for women, but the male bell curve is clearly more dominant and the female more submissive.

So another statement…

Women are attracted to dominant men. Especially men more dominant than themselves.

I’m not saying that it’s right, it’s certainly not politically correct to say that either. If you are reading into the word “dominant” a mandate for violence or cruelty to someone submissive you are very purposely misunderstanding my overall approach on this blog. I’m just saying that for most men tending towards a dominant social interaction with a woman is a natural state of affairs
 
To be sure many women have suffered violence or cruelty and now respond highly negatively to men who act with a normal male zest towards a woman. There are good reasons for concern about those that advance a male dominant approach to relationships, including myself. Misunderstanding male social dominance as “thugs up bitches down” leads to bad endgames for all concerned.
 
But for the last several decades the overall impression given of men is that we are some kind of badly designed female. It’s like men are Humans 1.0 and women are Humans 2.0. All that testosterone surging through our veins is, well…. wrong. If men and women are ever to be truly equal, then men must be shorter.
 
Personally I grow tired of being asked to stoop for marital equality to appease women I’m not married to. The most radical thought I express on this blog is this…
 
It’s ok to be a man.
 
Leadership. Protection. Fidelity. Trust. Integrity. Perseverance. Strength. Power. Construction. Humor. Justice. Exploration. Determination. Sacrifice. Shepherding. Husbandry. Invention. Courage. Bravery. Valiance. Fathering. Kindness.
 
If you’re married and you are conflicted about your own value as a male, you will inadvertently display weakness and a lack of confidence. The exact opposite of what the majority of women want from you.
 
It’s ok to be a man. Really.

My Husband Is Scared Of Me

I had a short conversation a few days back that has stuck with me. I was asked point blank “who makes the decisions in your marriage?” by a fairly newly married woman I know vaguely, but who also knows Jennifer reasonably well. I’ve never been asked this question directly by a person in real life and I was struck by how very personal of a question it was. Answering it truthfully had a slight sense of “outing” us…
“…so who makes the decisions in your marriage?”
“I do”.
“Really!”  
“Yes. We talk a lot about things but…
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Easy Alpha Move: Sit At The Head Of The Table

Possibly the most simple Alpha move ever is to sit at the head of the table during dinner.
If you aren’t eating at the table together, start doing it. If you have the atomized family thing where people cannon all over the house with plates direct from the kitchen, just setting the table creates social inertia towards eating together. You don’t have to announce it as a thing, just set the table.
If you worry that someone will beat you to the punch and steal your seat, the easy move is to have a drink of any sort, drink some, and leave it at the head of the table where you want to sit. It’s a social no-no to touch peoples drinks and you mark your territory with your cup.
It’s a simple move, but it works by framing you as the most important person in the house. Sitting at the head of the table = Alpha Male of the Group. Everyone else at the table is de facto stating their social deference to you wittingly or not. After a few months of stating deference to someone, it tends to become internalized.
Also I love it when Jennifer sits to my immediate right. She’s close enough to touch from shoulder to waist and she can lean towards me. I’ve noticed that the last few times we’ve been out together we’ve been seated at wide tables and we’re physically far away from each other thus defeating the point of a romantic dinner. Our own dining room table is more intimate it seems. I’d much rather sit together than opposite each other any day.
Plus how the hell  can you squeeze her thigh when you’re sitting opposite her without looking completely awkward?

Sexy Move: Find Some Stolen Time Together

If Game can be summarized into three words, it’s “instigate, isolate, escalate”. The instigation being that sense of playful engaging interaction with her. Whether that’s banter, teasing, deep and meaningful talking, humor or whatever, you’re trying to start something with her beyond asking her what’s for dinner.
Escalate being the “always be closing” approach of physical touch, sexual touch and lets go to the bedroom. I’m not saying very time you touch you are forcing the issue towards naked sexy time, just that you are setting the intent that there will be a sexy naked time and it’s going to be good. If she wants sex, you can…
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Sexy Moves: Getting Through Long Distance Love

Question in the comments on yesterdays post….
Athol. I just took a job that has a six-week training period out of the state at corporate HQ. This training will run smack dab over both Valentine’s Day and my anniversary with my gf. How can I start planning now to keep our emotional life well-stocked given that we may not get to celebrate either or both of those days together?
I wouldn’t go too crazy trying to over do it before you go. I think you just need to advance with the positive expectation that your relationship is bigger than this inconvenience. Six weeks is annoyingly long, but it’s not like you’re being deployed in Iraq either, so I think you can frame it as a mild adversity of your relationship that might grow it a little too.
The obvious thing to do is stay in contact with each other each day. There’s random texting, email, phone and Skype. If you have a laptop you are taking with you, then you can grab a cheap USB camera for each of you and Skype each other. I use it to talk to my family back in New Zealand and it is vastly different seeing a talking head on the other end than merely hearing their voice. Also you can play strip poker with her via Skype, or do something more obviously sexual on camera too.
Random texting you should be doing anyway to each other, so that shouldn’t change.
How far way is it? Where are you staying? What do flights cost? Why not send for her halfway through? There’s a friendship between the exotic and the erotic, so a plane flight and a hotel room just to have sex is going to make her very excited. Plus she should fixate on it for the entire lead up to it. Maybe she can do a three day weekend. Bonus points if you can time it for her ovulation. Refer to sending for her as “ordering room service”.
Snail mail her things. No one does a love letter anymore so it can be playfully quaint but also deep as well if she’s anything of a writer. Jennifer and I survived for three years on love letters and a few weeks of visits. Send her one and she will look at the mailbox like it’s maybe full of crack each day, so send her at semi-random. Ask her some open ended questions in there and have her mail you back. The trick is not to wait for replies, let things cross in the mail. It’s okay to send the first two things before you get the first reply.
Hide something fun / special / Valentines Day / anniversary day for her in the house somewhere.
Ok readers…. add some more ideas in the comments.

Bridalplasty: Whores With Flaws

The shows premise is simple… brides compete on a game show for the ultimate prize of plastic surgery!

Like O.M.G there’s BLING! Give me the precious!

High School like totally trained us to build alliances and backstab each other.

The Queen Bee-itch! We hate her!

OMG an injectable party! The challenge is a puzzle so it’s sexist.

And remember keep your eyes on the prize! Plastic surgery so you can dump your fiance and find a better man!!!!!!!!

(Seriously WTF is an injectable party?)

See If You Can Spot The Alpha Male

How To Get Your Husband To Mow The Lawn

Option One: Nag nag nag nag nag nag nag pout deny sex.
Ineffective most likely.
Option Two: You go start mowing the lawn… in a bikini.
Someone will probably show up and offer assistance.