Forrest Chump

Forrest Gump has the most terrible Oneitis for Jenny and in relation to her displays zero Alpha traits. As a consequence she walks all over him for the entire movie. She does return to him twice, but only when she needs to take a Beta pit stop. When she finally tells him she loves him, it’s as she lays dying of AIDS and it rings so hollow that even Forrest knows that it’s just one final manipulation.

Obviously Forest is not a smart man, but even very bright guys can get caught in the trap of being emotionally fixated on one woman to the exclusion of everything else. If you give one woman total control over yourself and endlessly play the nice guy card to her, she will only give herself to you on her whim and as her comfort needs dictate. Even if you’re married to her, you will be enshrined in her heart as “just a friend”.
The Beta stuff is always good, but the total lack of Alpha will allow her to crush your spirit until you can’t take it anymore, or there is nothing left to give.
Also to be completely cynical, Forrest should paternity test Forrest Jr. (“I don’t know why she came back, but I didn’t care, we was like peas and carrots again”)  You have to remember that by this point of the movie he’s a rich man, so Forrest Jr will get to inherit a fortune and she had no interest in being with Forest up until she’s dying and needs someone to raise her son. But then this is Hollywood, so it needs a happy ending for the main character… and the slut has to die.

Comments

  1. Never saw this movie from this angle. So true.

  2. Run Forrest Run!!! He shouldn't have stopped.

  3. modernguy says:

    He was in love her. This rebadging of a guy being in love with a girl as "oneitis" is about as retarded as Forrest.

  4. Anonymous says:

    modernguy does being in love give the other person the right to use you?
    If you are focusing on one person so much that you allow yourself to screwed over by them, then yes it is oneitis and you need to go find someone to love who respects you not uses you.

    FL

  5. Anonymous says:

    Very nice post! Very true.

  6. This movie is like a piece of candy that's all rich, creamy, wonderful chocolate on the outside, and bitter, deadly, carcinogenic poison at the core.

    Forrest Chump was a typical blind fool, with such a bad case of oneitis that he deserved every second of the loneliness and misery he earned for himself. This is the ONLY stupid thing he did in the movie, and he did it OVER and OVER and OVER.

    And even though I know it's "unenlightened" and stupid, and even Beta of me, and that she probably couldn't help it, I deeply and permanently hate Jenny for it.

    For all that it's annoying as hell, the movie is accurate in this: Stupid Beta fuckheads with Oneitis never get better, (at best, they switch targets periodically), they just go on making themselves miserable, and die alone.

    Ask me how I know.

  7. Anon 6:01pm – I'm sure you have a genuine story.

    You can learn, grow and change though. I won't pretend it's easy or quick, but it can be done.

    Hang in there. You're welcome to email me the story if you wish.

  8. Athol:

    Thanks for your encouragement. Sadly, my story is just all the "Jenny" parts of Forrest Chump (over about 4 women… so far) without all the interesting Vietnam-Shrimpin-Running-appearing-in-newsreel-footage bits. Which is to say, it's boring. The scary thing about Forrest Chump was how well it captured a woman who *almost* cares for a man, and the Beta chump orbiting her, and how long he'll wait. Or maybe that's just me… :-/

    Here's one thing that I was thinking, though. I've read everything you wrote about how your relationship started with Jennifer, and (to those of us outside), it seems like several years of long-distance (which is to say, supremely obsessive) oneitis that ultimately ended in marriage, kids, success, happiness and sex sex sex. Sounds pretty good. Makes it kind of hard to disdain oneitis the way I definitely ought to.

    Is the only difference between oneitis and determined, focused, alpha, goalseeking that the latter is recognized/defined by the fact that it worked, but only after it has worked?

    The "Alpha" thing to do is kick her to the curb if she doesn't put out after 8 hours in your presence. I know (and appreciate) that you're more about balance, than cartoon-style PUA All Alpha All The Time, but…

    So how do you tell the difference between oneitis and something worth working for that has difficulties that you have to overcome in a manly, manly way? Preferably before you get as old as I am…

    Is Oneitis just the Beta/needy perversion of Alpha determination and focus?

    Anon601

  9. Athol Kay says:

    It was critical that Jennifer was also deeply in love with me and that my affection for her was returned in the same measure.

    Maybe Oneitis should be called Onesideditis.

    Also it was extremely difficult time for both of us. Our orginal wedding date was in June 1994 and she asked to delay it to November so she could finish college. I agreed to it, but also said if the wedding was delayed again past November, that I couldn't continue with her as I just needed to end being in a long distance relationship one way or the other. We married in November 1994.

    I never had any doubts that Jennifer loved me deeply.

    I guess the question to ask is, "when I give to her, does she give back?" "Is this a mutual relationship?" Or am I always left hanging somehow? Am I always the one that has to call first or nothing happens? She she too busy for me somehow?

  10. Athol Kay says:

    Or to return to Forrest Gump… when you find yourself asking a variation on "Why don't you love me Jenny?"

  11. Anonymous says:

    "Maybe Oneitis should be called Onesideditis."

    Brilliant!

  12. Anonymous says:

    "Never saw this movie from this angle"

    And I still don't. He was in love with her, and sometimes this is an unhealthy thing, but she needed it desperately, and she wanted it; she was abused by her father, to the anon who said he hated her. Sometimes it's easy to tell: if she's healthy, spoiled, and clearly uses you, she's a witch and you need to move on. But Jenny did love Forrest, was scared of commitment and thought she also wasn't good enough for him. He could have moved on, but he didn't have other romantic interests, and that turned out to be good. If you misuse the alpha thing, you'll end up acting selfishly. Especially in a marriage.

    Jennifer 6

  13. Anonymous says:

    I had a whole post prepared about when to tell that things are toxic, and when to stick it out in a tough love situation. But I suddenly realized the main difference, not only in when to do which, but in how you and I see the movie, Athol: you think Jenny didn't love Forrest, and I think she did. I think she was wounded and scared sh*tless about love, whereas you think she was a manipulator who always knew what she was doing. That settles it then, I guess. Giving someone unconditional love is always important, but if it's a romanic love you have for them and they. don't. love. you. back and keep on hurting you, it's usually a dead end. Incidentally, Forrest did try to move on and couldn't. Call me a romantic chump but sometimes, if a person can't move on and their love is eventually returned, I think it was meant to be.

  14. Athol Kay says:

    Oh I agree that Jenny is a quite hurt and broken person., but what Jenny felt or wanted isn't the issue. The issue is Forrest allows himself to be held emotional hostage by her for his whole life.

    Forrest wasn't even married to her until the very end when she was dying of AIDS.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I know they weren't married until the end.

    I guess sometimes you can't walk away from love. I think what she wanted and felt was part of the issue, because you thought she was just using him even up to the end; if she was, this means his actions and love for her were all for naught. But I don't think she was.

    Jennifer 6

  16. Athol Kay says:

    He could have married a different woman though, and had a long happy life, with more children and grandchildren together.

    Note when she finally tells him she loves him, he doesn't look exactly happy about it.

    I just have to disagree on this one. Wife selection is the most critical aspect of marriage for a man. Jenny falls woefully short of the standard.

  17. Anonymous says:

    She told him she loved him, for the first time, right before they made love; I think he was happy. The last time, he was probably thinking of her impending death.

    "He could have married a different woman though, and had a long happy life, with more children and grandchildren together"

    We can't always choose how we feel. In any case, he could do that once she was gone; in the end, I think he was glad for their time together. It was certainly what both she and their son needed, and it was what Forrest deserved after his wait.

    Jennifer 6

  18. Athol Kay says:

    Jennifer 6 – just so I'm clear on your viewpoint, I'll flip the genders around.

    If you were in love with a drug abusing player who only showed up when they needed something from you, you would just wait for them to finally breakdown and realize they loved you right before they died from an STD?

  19. Anonymous says:

    If he was abused as a child, Athol, and I'd loved him and we'd been close since then, I probably would wait as long as I could for him. Whether that's as long as Forrest waited, I couldn't say.

    Jennifer 6

  20. I think Athol is misreading the movie a little.

    First, it's not clear–at least not to me–that Forrest is really "in love" with Jenny in a romantic or sexual way, at least not at the beginning. It seems like to him she is just his best friend. He comes to her rescue that night in college because he fears she is at risk of getting hurt. What happens in her dorm just seems to completely confuse him. It's not like he's out for sex and she denies him.

    After that, he just goes and lives his life. Yes he writes to her and the letters get returned but again, in his stupidity, he shrugs that off and keeps going. Every encounter he has with her after that is either by chance or her seeking him out. He never chases her. He never lets whatever he feels for her get in his way at all. He is always doing his own thing, or as Roissy says, remaining true to his purpose.

    When they finally do have sex it's at her instigation and there has never been a suggestion before in the movie that he even has a libido. So the idea that he could have married another women and been happy is far from obvious. He never shows any interest. He's always got something else (better?) to do.

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