Yes Chef!

As nothing more than an excuse to play a Chef! video…
For the most part cooking is a Beta Male skill and a very useful one. But if you push it hard enough… it can turn into a means of establishing Alpha dominance.

Of course naturally I don’t advise taking a large knife to anything but a roast chicken. But being able to really cook large quantities of good food for things like parties just frames you as the man.
Of course as soon as you hear anything remotely close to the phrase “kitchen bitch” lobbed in your direction…. you leave a selection of instant oatmeal near the microwave for every meal until such time as a proper apology is made.

Forrest Chump

Forrest Gump has the most terrible Oneitis for Jenny and in relation to her displays zero Alpha traits. As a consequence she walks all over him for the entire movie. She does return to him twice, but only when she needs to take a Beta pit stop. When she finally tells him she loves him, it’s as she lays dying of AIDS and it rings so hollow that even Forrest knows that it’s just one final manipulation.

Obviously Forest is not a smart man, but even very bright guys can get caught in the trap of being emotionally fixated on one woman to the exclusion of everything else. If you give one woman total control over yourself and endlessly play the nice guy card to her, she will only give herself to you on her whim and as her comfort needs dictate. Even if you’re married to her, you will be enshrined in her heart as “just a friend”.
The Beta stuff is always good, but the total lack of Alpha will allow her to crush your spirit until you can’t take it anymore, or there is nothing left to give.
Also to be completely cynical, Forrest should paternity test Forrest Jr. (“I don’t know why she came back, but I didn’t care, we was like peas and carrots again”)  You have to remember that by this point of the movie he’s a rich man, so Forrest Jr will get to inherit a fortune and she had no interest in being with Forest up until she’s dying and needs someone to raise her son. But then this is Hollywood, so it needs a happy ending for the main character… and the slut has to die.

Sexting The Wife

Jennifer has to work late a couple times a week doing open houses, and detests open houses where nobody comes. She gets bored and we tend to text a little during her events just to stay in contact with each other. She does a lot of events like this in her job and if they are dead it’s just a vacuum, so I fill it and make her laugh. If the event is good I cheerleader her too.
When she’s working late I usually make sure the house is clean, dinner done, kids happy yada yada yada in her absence. This particular night the dinner option was leftover sausage bread, but I wrangled eldest daughter into cooking pasta with me and…
Buy Me!

Wife With Baby Crazies

If your wife says she wants a baby, repeatedly, insistently, illogically, passionately… for months… she’s in the throes of the baby crazies.
Option 1 – Get her pregnant.
Option 2 – Roll the dice and don’t get her pregnant… Maybe she’ll just come around and snap out of it and be happy. Maybe she’ll mope about it but that’s it. Maybe she’ll tear the relationship apart so she can find a new husband that will get her pregnant. Maybe she’ll get “accidentally” pregnant to you. Maybe she’ll get pregnant to someone else and then come running back to you. Maybe you’ll never know that the new baby isn’t really yours.
In general though, nature finds a way. Be advised that women that really want to be pregnant have essentially no limits on what they will do to meet that goal.
I’m not saying it’s right that women act this way, I’m just saying that this is reality and this is exactly what women are biologically designed to do. Sometimes a third kid is cheaper and less effort than child support x2, alimony, losing half your stuff and having to start over.

Just Do One Thing Really Well

Badger has left a new comment on your post “Sexy Move: Ask For Her Special Dish”:
Athol, I was wondering if you might talk about how you find “you time” in your life. I understand all the gotta-dos for a modern husband – you come home from work and you’ve got kid care, wife care, nesting, etc. How do you find time to play WoW, to blog and do other things that make you you (and thus make you attractive as a guy leading his life) without your family thinking you are neglecting them?
Well this is the question isn’t it. Without an army of clones, there are simply too many things that you could do for upping your Sex Rank than can actually be done. For the most part I concentrate on what I can do best and see how far that takes me, then fill in the gaps.
I think what I do reasonably well is try and use my time for multiple purposes in doing the same task. For example when I’m answering someone’s questions by email, very often I find myself writing a longish reply. Quite frequently that long reply gets stripped of personal information and edited into a functional blog post. When I’m on Talk About Marriage offering advice and reading the stuff there, I often start to see patterns and that can turn into a post. When I read of the third guy who had a friend move in with him and the result was the friend had an affair with the wife, I said “aha that’s got to happen a fair bit” and I bammed out a post about it.
The blog is also doubling as a huge very messy first draft for the book, and as the marketing platform for the book as well. Hopefully the book turns into money which is going to pay the bills yada yada yada. Originally I had just thought of a book as a “better organized version of the blog”, but I’ve been surprised at how I’ve continued to develop my thinking as I’ve written it and it’s turning out better than the blog.
The blog is also a Display of High Value to one person in particular… Jennifer. Seriously do you realize how big my balls have to be to write that I’m an absolutely wonderful studfucking husband and get away with it? The payoff is when guys write back that when they do my stuff and say that it works, I’m always sure to show Jennifer those emails and comments. Plus I get her to read my posts and edit them before I publish them, so I’m including her in the process and asking for her help. She happens to like playing the support role, so it works on that level too. Hey honey could you just polish my enormous balls a little before I hit publish? Thanks.
So on one hand the blog itself is very Alpha, but it’s also very Beta as well. Try thinking of it as 380 posts about how much I love my wife. Try find a bad word about Jennifer in any of those pages. Oh sure I might tease her a little here and there, but it’s all really just an avalanche of positive emotion about her. At some point in 300-400,000 words of “Ode to Monogamy and Jennifer”, you figure she’s got to start thinking I’m interested in her.
So all this works together in one big ball of time efficent goodness. I’m doing my ONE THING that I’m really good at. Sometimes all you gotta do is just one thing really well and everything else just falls into place around it.
The other half of the equation is Jennifer. I’m married, so I don’t have to spend 3-4 hours a day wondering where my next lay is coming from. Generally I write posts from 930p to 1030ish, she edits the post, then we go to bed and have sex. That’s a big time savings right there. I don’t have a couple women calling me their baby’s daddy either, so that’s a big time and effort savings as well. Jennifer and I generally live within our means and we both work, so that’s a help as well. We spent time teaching the kids to behave when they were little and they behave really well now, so that’s easy too. Hey monogamy might look boring from the outside, but it’s an efficent way to live.
Also Jennifer does more around the house than I do and does more with the kids than I do. I do play with the kids and goof off with them. I don’t do nothing to be sure, but it’s not a 50/50 split and I do appreciate what she does. She believes in me. I won’t pretend for a minute that I don’t hope this all doesn’t ignite into some fame and major dollars, but even if it doesn’t, I’ve still helped a ton of people and that means something to us.
In terms of World of Warcraft, I’ve retired from competitive play. Oh I used to do that pretty hard core, server first boss kills and all that, but now it’s just a few hours here and there. This was something that I made a definite choice about a few years back. I don’t really miss the game as much as a handful of my old guildmates. I just play to zone out and not be bothered by anything.
I’ve just reached this point in my life where I need to start building something of meaning and value. And there’s really only enough time to do one thing really well.
Jennifer said she likes that I write in the living room with everyone present rather than holed up in a man cave somewhere.