I said yesterday… “The Beta stuff doesn’t really turn women ON, but in a marriage lacking Beta can turn women OFF.”
“The Mrs” commented today…. “So what do you call it when your husband spends as little time with his kids as possible, but isn’t alpha either? Is that just being a lousy beta because he doesn’t have those comfort skills?
My husband was never good in school, since he was too busy smoking and being the class clown. So he hasn’t been much help with homework since the kids have been out of early middle school. It’s ridiculous because he’s the computer geek and I’m the one with the useless liberal arts degree.
You might want to see a post I did a year back A Little More on Alpha and Beta Traits where I define men into four category groups of Alpha, Beta, Omega and Gamma. I tend not to mention Omega and Gamma very often at all on the blog because I want to try and sell the message of “you should balance Alpha and Beta” as a core concept. I’ve got enough new terms as it is for a new reader so I try and keep it manageable.
A Gamma Male is simply a man that has both Alpha and Beta Traits in decent quantity and balance. Whether he started off as a pure Alpha and added Beta along the way, or started off as a pure Beta and figured out how to Alpha up, doesn’t matter. He’s got a balance to him finally; he’s a nice guy with a sharp edge, a bit of an asshole but sweet to her, does what he wants but takes what she wants into account too, could pull another woman or two but stays faithful to her. He’s carrot and stick, inspiring her to her best relationship behavior with him and rewarding her for it. He’s the pump but not the dump, nor the chump for her rump.
An Omega Male on the other hand is someone that lacks both Alpha and Beta Traits. A real no getter like a Homer Simpson would be a perfect example. Words that come to mind as descriptors are things like “loser”, “totally useless” and “soon to be ex-husband”.
The question that needs asking though is what do you plan to do about your husband? Obviously screaming and kicking him out is one option, but that’s just nuking him. You’re probably doing a lot of things that support and enable his less than helpful behavior, so if you can figure out what they are and stop doing them, maybe he’ll be forced into doing something more useful. Plus you shouldn’t underestimate the power of you dressing up once in a while and going to the magical place of “out”.
If you want to tell me the story… athol(dot)kay@gmail(dot)com