Yes Chef!

As nothing more than an excuse to play a Chef! video…
For the most part cooking is a Beta Male skill and a very useful one. But if you push it hard enough… it can turn into a means of establishing Alpha dominance.

Of course naturally I don’t advise taking a large knife to anything but a roast chicken. But being able to really cook large quantities of good food for things like parties just frames you as the man.
Of course as soon as you hear anything remotely close to the phrase “kitchen bitch” lobbed in your direction…. you leave a selection of instant oatmeal near the microwave for every meal until such time as a proper apology is made.

Comments

  1. On this note…

    "Of course as soon as you hear anything remotely close to the phrase "kitchen bitch" lobbed in your direction…. you leave a selection of instant oatmeal near the microwave for every meal until such time as a proper apology is made."

    There is a weird thing I notice among women my age…there's some kind of a need for them to cut down their friend's partner (and his masculinity) in front of her. Calling him a "kitchen bitch" is one way I've heard. (My cousin, a good man and nobody's beta, was helping clean dishes at Christmas dinner and someone called him "his wife's wife.") It's like these women are uncomfortable with a man who is domestically capable because he threatens their nesting ability or something.

    Call me a hardass, but I think that's the time she has to make a very public and obvious defense of her man to the girls. (How she does it is her taste – serious, sarcastic, playful, sexy, whatever.)

    If she's not down with this, it tells me she's more concerned about keeping up appearances with her pals and "not rocking the boat" than with putting her man first in her life.

    To me, it's a serious sign of lack of loyalty. I'm not pledging my life and fortune to a woman who thinks it's cool to humiliate me for status with her friends.

  2. Agree that is a bad situation.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I would say the only possible reply to that kind of remark is "you get out of here right now."

  4. Ian Ironwood says:

    It's a mistake to think that the ability to cook is a purely Beta trait — consider the extreme machismo of the Iberian peninsula (Span and Portugal), where Macho was invented. Some of the toughest SOBs in the world are the Basques, who have been fighting for independence (and smuggling across the Pyrenees) since the Roman times. They're about as Alpha as they come . . . and among their most celebrated cultural accomplishments is the existence of all-male cooking clubs. Basque culture sees a man in the kitchen as a powerful thing, a place where Alpha creativity enriches the mundane and domestic (and traditionally Beta) role of food provider into one of artistic mastery.

    So if you want to come across as Alpha in the kitchen, emulate the Basque godfathers see cooking as a virile and masculine thing. Women aren't even allowed in their kitchens as they prepare the richly complicated Basque cuisine. Just be sure to handle any derisive comments about your position with all the passion and energy you would use to defend any other important part of your Alpha identity.

    And oatmeal? You're being far too generous, Athol. If I get complaints, they know where the breakfast bars are.

  5. @Badger – I suspect these women who feel the need to cut down their friend's husbands/ partners are a little jealous and so they attack the very traits they'd secretly love their own partner to display.

  6. Athol Kay says:

    Ian – I never said I cooked the oatmeal… just instant oatmeal packets by the microwave lol. :-)

    LJ – Of course they are.

  7. Anonymous says:

    "There is a weird thing I notice among women my age…there's some kind of a need for them to cut down their friend's partner (and his masculinity) in front of her."

    "Call me a hardass, but I think that's the time she has to make a very public and obvious defense of her man to the girls."

    "If she's not down with this, it tells me she's more concerned about keeping up appearances with her pals and "not rocking the boat" than with putting her man first in her life.

    To me, it's a serious sign of lack of loyalty. I'm not pledging my life and fortune to a woman who thinks it's cool to humiliate me for status with her friends."

    Exactly!!!

    If it isn't "you and I against the world," then there is only one person in the relationship.

    To me:

    lack of complete loyalty = the end and goodbye

  8. Wow, glad to see so much concurrence, I thought I would get a lot of "making a scene isn't alpha." (Can you tell this has been an issue for me personally?)

    In Freudian terms, if marriage is a man leaving his mother and bonding to another woman and leaving his father to become master of his own house, marriage is a woman leaving her father AND her nest of the sisterhood and putting her material and emotional stake in her husband.

    It just doesn't make sense to me how some women think they can suborn disrespect of their husband without damaging the relationship.

    Having female friends per se is all good, but
    addiction (and that's what it appears to be) to their inclusion and approval is relationship poison. Players will tell you that married women on girls' nights out (or bachelorette parties) are easy fodder.

  9. "Having female friends per se is all good, but
    addiction (and that's what it appears to be) to their inclusion and approval is relationship poison. Players will tell you that married women on girls' nights out (or bachelorette parties) are easy fodder."

    Only if the married women aren't having their boxes ticked (!) at home. For me, girl's nights out are fun, once in a while, but I can honestly say they make me grateful for what I have waiting for me at home – and I look forward to getting home and showing my appreciation!

  10. I have worked in a restaurant kitchen and I can assure you it is not a beta enviornement at all. At all. Anthony Bourdain's depiction is at the very least out of date and probably exaggarated even for it's time but a lot of what he describes is dead on.

    Oh, and chefs can definitely pull the pussy.

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