“It’s absolutely jaw dropping how much the content from MMSL and Taken in Hand models what the Scriptures say marriage is supposed to be like sans the disciplinary spanking aspect of TIH. However, those three are nothing like what is considered a “Christian Marriage” in today’s standard. I understand that you’re no longer a believer . . .I currently am and this information has been very important in search for a good relationship. Last time I wrote you I was engaged, I’ve since called it off for a myriad of reasons including the fact that I didn’t have peace from God about the situation. In addition to that your blog/site has helped me realize the type of relationship that I REALLY WANT versus just accepting whatever is handed to me. I also realize now how important it is to become the type of man that is necessary to be in what I consider to be a good marriage. In short, thanks again. You helped to save me from making a HUGE mistake!”
You are most welcome. I’m not religious anymore, but I do keep having Christians telling me I’m biblical. I just take it as a compliment, but it’s not really something I’m trying to do.
I’m sure the decision you made wasn’t without difficulty and some pain though. I hope you find the one and have as much happiness as Jennifer and I do. And thank you. It really does make a difference to me.
My hunch though… let’s say he’s a 7 and he’s engaged to a 7. After reading MMSL and learning a few more things, he sees a clear path to get to him to be an easy 8 or maybe even a full 9 if he really puts his mind to it. But she’s still going to be a 7 or she’s been resisting his positive changes – a very bad sign of things to come. So the Rationalization Hamster in the Sky makes him feel uncomfortable and he breaks it off. Now he seeks a 9; he deserves one.
Hey I may be wrong, it’s just a hunch, but I’m getting good at this stuff. I’ve also been right there myself, looking at a woman I deeply love, crush hard on and just having that sense of disconnection that something just isn’t right. It pained me to not get involved, but if I had moved on her I know it would have played out badly and I would have never even met Jennifer.
So whether or not you believe in: God, fate, the Rationalization Hamster in the Sky, science, The Force, or whatever you care to believe in, understand that your choice in wife will utterly define your life in ways you cannot comprehend as yet. I’m not against thinking with the little head either. In fact I think that’s pretty important, I’m just in favor of having the little head and the big head agree that it’s a good idea to join to her.
Though do try and figure out whether or not the little head is just bullshiting the big head into making a quick decision. If you have a bad feeling about it just lurking inside you… step away from her for a couple days, away from her pheromones, away from the genetic information you get from her lingering kiss, away from the draw of her cleavage and the curve of her ass. Then think about it just a little more. If she’s the one, she’ll still be the one three days from now.
Also do not offer marriage within three days of having your face anywhere near her vagina. The smell of pussy is designed to control your mind and make you her minion. It’s beyond me why wives ever nag their husbands to do anything, when they could just sit on his face and ask nicely.