Sexy Move: Break Her Out of Mom Mode

My wife runs the kids about regular as a stay at home mum (I work shifts so not always available to do this),one of these is the sons football class,she has made comments about some of the fathers there that are running there kids around,one in particular she says is very funny and is always cracking jokes (a group of parents sit on a viewing area together).But last night she said she sat in the car alone and she emphasised how bored she is sat around waiting for 1 1/2 hours waiting for the class to finish.
Is she testing me here I can’t read into this she says all she ever does is run the kids around.
Lets be honest here… watching football practice is mind numbingly boring to most women. It’s not like she’s a cheerleader watching the alpha high school boys warming up like they are soft core porn. It’s a bunch of kids messing about and she has a couple months of this inane crap to sit through.
Many women just want whatever the game is over. As an example Jennifer used to play in band at high school and the band typically cheered for the clock.
“Go clock! You can do it!”
“Get back up clock! Don’t give up! Go clock go!”
So this other guy at the practices is probably just some guy and very likely absolutely nothing is happening. She’s just bored out of her mind waiting for it to be over and to drive home.
The kids probably don’t even thank her for driving them around either. Maybe a new family rule – the kids need to thank the taxi driver for their efforts or they can sort out their own transportation next time. Yeah they will be mad when they miss practice or whatever, but I don’t see concierge service as being a parental requirement.
Some other suggestions;
Tell her to leave the practice and go do something else for the 90 minutes it takes. Go get a coffee, go to the library, get her nails done or a mammogram or something else to fill in the time with something more enjoyable. By all means watch the games and cheer like a good parent, but practice is practice so you can skip that. The kid probably doesn’t really care all that much that she is there anyway. Sometimes mom’s just lock themselves into this helicopter mode where they think they have to hover over the kid constantly. Then they are mad because no one cares about their helicopter hover love that wears them out so much.
If you can, she’s absolutely ripe to start running some text game and flirt with her. She’ll lap it up simply because she’s dying for stimulation that’s fun to her. You can probably get pretty dirty if she’s in the car alone.
Buy her a trashy slutty romance novel. Gift wrap it and put it under the seat of her car. Text her when she gets to practice next time to look under her seat. If she’s really that bored she’ll read it. Apparently women that read romance novels have 30% more sex than women that don’t. So you do the math on that one…

Comments

  1. "she says all she ever does is run the kids around."

    I am told that superlative/categorical statements are usually a sign of advanced frustration with one's situation, so (a) he should implement a major change in the family protocol if only to shake up her routine and (b) shouldn't expect her to be very rational about the whole thing.

    On the other hand, I'm seeing a lot of learned helplessness in the complaints of modern mothers too. It's like they are paralytically afraid to not supplicate to their children for even a second. Do they have abandonment complexes from their boomer parents? With all due respect to his wife, why does she have to be TOLD she doesn't have to watch her son's sports practice?

    "Then they are mad because no one cares about their helicopter hover love that wears them out so much."

    Good God. I've been through this in my family. Past a certain point this becomes a manipulation, an attempt to "barter" goods and services for love. Kind of like a beta male actually.

  2. Athol Kay says:

    They have to be told to break out of mom mode because that's what they think they should be doing to be a good mom.

    A lot of women have this whole good girl complex where they believe they have to give up everything enjoyable and sacifice themselves.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the ideas I like the text idea.
    She sometimes gets away on a Saturday morning for a coffee I will be a mile or so away either at my daughters football match at this time (saturday morning) or I will take my son to his practice we swap each Saturday.
    Monday evening practice she cannot get to go anywhere due to the location (nowhere open for coffee at that time) but I think I will have a gift for her under the seat this week.Only a CD but it's something to take away the boredom with the surprise element.
    I will do the same in a few weeks with the book idea

  4. Anonymous says:

    What instrument did Jennifer play? Just curious.

    To be fair, some sports groups require a parent (or guardian/babysitter/whoever's responsible for the child) to stay for the entire practice if the kids are under a certain age. So some moms are really stuck being at every practice.

    That said, it sounds a little like this woman's whining about it when she shouldn't be. Seriously, why hasn't she thought of bringing a book or whatever with her to pass the time? Or bring the bills and write your checks while you're watching practice? There are lots of ways to pass the time.

  5. Anonymous says:

    My assumption is that she might be required to stay at the practice. I have three small children and every event or practice they attend requires a parent to be "available" on site the entire time. At this point in my life I would probably love that 1 1/2 hour to myself just to think. Unfortunately if one is doing something the other two are in the car with me and it not so enjoyable to keep two little ones entertained for 1 1/2 hours until big brother gets done with practice. Intead I am frustrated because the two small ones don't want to be there any more than I do AND we are confined to the car on cold rainy days.

  6. Just wanted to second the smokin' romance book suggestion – I am a recent convert, and they are guaranteed to cause some level of 'tingle'.

    Oh, and if you get the time to highlight a few paragraphs in advance – mark them as something you're going do to her later – when she gets to them you're gonna be who she's thinking of.

  7. "I have three small children and every event or practice they attend requires a parent to be "available" on site the entire time."

    Oh for God's sake, we've gotten totally ridiculous in this society! As a guy who coaches sports, the LAST thing I want is a bunch of parents hanging around distracting the kids and possibly colluding to undercut the coach's authority (I've seen it happen more than once).

  8. Can anyone recommend a smoking hot sexy book for the lady

  9. "Can anyone recommend a smoking hot sexy book for the lady"

    Anything by Susie Bright or Nancy Friday – available thru Amazon. You'll find other listings of erotic literature by other writers there; note these are not strictly "romance novels" which quite frankly, are crap.

  10. / Thanks

  11. Why is this her husband's problem to solve, why can't she own her own boredom and bring a book, or and mp3 player loaded with podcasts? Sheesh. Maybe it's just because I grew up around a bunch of homeschool moms who had there kids with them all day and would have loved to be in a car completely alone for 90 minutes.

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