Almost Done (Again) and Blog Suprises In Store

Reader email…
I know, I know, you get a million of these each day. I just had to write and ask you to not pull a Chris Brogan… once his book published, he felt he was done coming up with anything new. PLEASE don’t do that!!! So many people rely on your blog daily to help us transform into what we were meant to be. Me, I was recovering from a pretty destructive relationship. Just reading your posts helped me understand my role, what happened, and the parts that really were beyond my control. Cue Batshit Crazy posts. Anyway. New relationship. We both were scarred (we’re definitely older, our kids are almost grown), but reading your writing has been very healing for both of us. You’re not just teaching sex; you’re teaching trust and integrity, too. I know you know that, but I wanted you to know that as a female with a Rationalization Hamster recently tamed, you’re getting across to us, too.
We now speak of “Athol-isms” and refer to it as “The Blog(TM)”. Your work is that integral to both of our healing.
Thank you!
Hi there, I’m glad you guys are enjoying the blog and getting better. It’s a journey for us all.
I understand your concern, I actually feel guilty when I miss a day posting to tell the truth. I know people are out there reading like that, it’s quite touching really. The book has been eating my life right now, but it simply has to get done. I’m hoping its available for purchase “around” April 1st-7th. I’m really not sure how long the Createspace printing to available at Amazon thing will take, so it may go longer. Jennifer and I have given the proof copies a going over and I’m finishing up on the final version tonight. Well final version for the second time… ugh.
Sunday morning I woke up and decided I needed to  move four chapters around and write a fifth one to create a Part Four of the book. Jennifer made her about-to-throw-up-face when I said I had to do that. I explained why I had to do it and she made a face like she was trying to decide if she was starting to have a stroke or a seizure. Finished at 4am last night and had a really unproductive day at work today lol. I’m finally at peace about the book structure though. By “at peace” I mean I can’t bear to look at it anymore.
After that comes the conversions to Kindle, Nook and despite me hating eBooks, about 10-12% of my readers live in Far Far Away and it’s the only really practical way that they can have a copy. But print first, because I just need to hold a physical book in my hands. There’s one more moderate surprise about the idea of book, but that waits until it’s done.
That being said, I am mentally exhausted of my particular topic approach. So my plan for the month of April is to switch the content to be directed at what a wife can do to improve things in her marriage. 80% of what she can do is the same as what I’ve been saying to men all along, but the other 20% should be interesting to play with for a month at least. Jennifer was quite excited by the idea, then I explained I’d simply be ordering her to do stuff for me via blog post lol. Wigs and stripper shoes to kick start things.
I also have plans for a second blogsite and annual books based on that as well. Possibly ready in May but more likely June. I’m staying quiet as to exactly what that is for now, it’s very complementary to MMSL, but a much different style and content. I suspect most current readers will like it a good deal. Both sites should feed each other new readers, so win-win.
I have a few other ideas rolling around, but nothing concrete just yet. Also I’ve been falling down on the Beta stuff in my own home for a good month now. So I really should catch up on some of that too.
Thanks for your email, much appreciated. I really am pleased I’ve been helping you guys.


  1. "at what a wife can do to improve things in her marriage."

    Yay! Look forward to reading your views. The mainstream manosphere seems to offer little beyond "make me a sammich, give me a blowjob, shut up."

    A guy who likes his wife and kids, tries to save marriages and is generally upbeat; you crazy Kiwi-guy!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Really ready for the posts about what a wife can do! ~ Bonnie

  3. Anonymous says:

    Can't wait for the wife blog!

    ~A Wife

  4. Anonymous says:

    Athol: For goodness' sake, shell out a few bucks to get a professional proofreader to give your book a thorough going-over. It's one of those subliminal things which makes some books look like real books and some like crap printed up at Kinko's.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Athol, while you focus on already married or those marrying for the first time, please know that we're a great example of how to heal after broken marriages. (Yup, author of the email here.) We're working on making this like our first. Sure, we both have a history, and I was scared to death when I read your post on the impact previous partners has on marriage success. But, I'm putting that behind me, working on my own stuff, and making myself the best partner to my man that I can be.

    Your work gives me hope that I can have the kind of marriage you talk about here.

  6. Hopefully these past few months of extra work will pay you dividends for years to come. – financially, and socially –

    Thanks for the great stuff so far.

  7. Athol Kay says:

    And… pushed play on submitting again, then review copy and unless I see something that looks like puke, we're all done for this years version.

    Thanks Big Jay.

    Anon – several people helped with reviewing and the one that I ended up working with the most is pro.

    It isn't going to look 100% perfect, but pretty darn good for a first time out. I'm okay with it. The content is impressive really.

  8. Thanks for the mention, Athol. I wish we'd had more time so I could review your last-minute additions, but we'll see how the final product turns out. And you know how to reach me if you decide to put out a revised or second edition.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Another idea for women: Confidence, fitness testing and how to know you need counseling. ;)

    Okay, seriously… what's the line between simple fitness testing and having a serious lack of confidence? When a man starts to display Alpha traits, especially making himself "unavailable" or flirting with other women, it can be a little too disconcerting, especially if she's *trying* to reconnect with her man as he's doing this. When is it appropriate to bump back on displays that hurt, versus sucking it up and donning a shorter skirt? I see some mighty fuzzy lines here, and I'd like to know some appropriate ways to bump back, if necessary.

  10. Aphys Fade says:

    A woman need to become aware of the needs of her spouse and how to meet those needs. Failure for her to meet these needs can lead to problems in the house or at most, divorce.

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