Badger emailed me a link that Dr Tara J. Palmatier over at Shrink for Men has a great post up about Borderline Personality Disorder. Mostly it consists of a set of home videos where the husband is defensively video taping her behavior.
Now some the videos seem like it could go either way – maybe he’s pissing off a normal women by taping her and helping cause some of anger and hostility. Maybe she’s right, maybe he is the problem. But then towards the end of the second video (6:45 mark), knowing she is being video taped, she starts swinging at him with a hammer. All in front of their little girl too. Congratulations honey, you’re batshit crazy.
There is no happy ending to this story. The husband’s lawyer never got the 12 videos entered in the family court case, so the wife got full custody of the kids. She also started an affair with a family friend, that marriage broke up and she married her affair partner. Cold.
This situation has already played out ten years ago and I don’t mean to rub the Greg’s nose in it, but having looked at everything, I think he made one basic mistake. He tried to cope with the situation alone.
As I said back on the first Batshit Crazy post:
“The only really effective way of dealing with someone that is really batshit crazy is some combination of: leaving the relationship, finding an effective medication regime and using emergency services as is appropriate. Should they become violent or engage in property destruction, call 911. Even batshit crazy people understand tazers.”
If you’re faced with living with someone that is batshit crazy, you are still going to feel that you should be able to cope with a single woman inside your own home. You’re meant to be able to just “man up”, or be Alpha, or something right? Nope. When batshit crazy runs at you with a hammer in her hand, it’s over. The situation is totally unsafe and you are simply salvaging what you can from the wreckage of the relationship. You have to actively start planning to end it and your goals in order of priority should be:
1. Your physical safety.
2. Avoid being setup for jail. (She will try this.)
3. Getting custody of the children.
4. Getting to keep possession of the house.
5. Anything else.
Nanny cams are a great starting place; just don’t go it alone.