I have this small problem in that I am a quite genuinely helpful, kind person and I do like women. So I used to be a natural born sucker for being turned into the-chump-of-the-day for any proximal cleavage.
Of course nowadays, I’m not going to be taken advantage of and I’m wise to it all. I just don’t runabout and do special tasks for women and expect nothing for my service. Plus I know that often by helping out, I can sometimes unwittingly reduce my status in a woman’s eyes, simply for helping her with a task I’d probably help a guy with as well. So in recent years I’ve pulled back a little from doing stuff.
The other issue is, I can run a good game if I want to on a woman and start making traction towards something sexual. It’s just that I don’t actually want to convert on that as things are good with Jennifer. The whole “I’m not a white knight, I’m a horny knight” works great on Jennifer, but doesn’t quite work for other women without getting me into trouble.
So what to do?
I like helping. But if I help for free I lose status and people try and use me. Can’t help other women for sex without wrecking things with Sugarpussy.
Anyway… today… I get an anguished female text of needing IT support. I’m not the IT department person, but apparently the nurse is meant to know everything, so I help out via text. Booyah and she’s connected again.
So I ask her for $75.
Then because she’s wasted so much time struggling with her computer, she’s totally forgotten about a meeting she was going to that one of us had to attend. As it happens, I’m already heading in the general direction of the meeting and she’d be 30 minutes late. The meeting starts in five minutes and I’m seven minutes away. So I say I’ll cover for her…
But I want baked goods.
I’m saving your ass, twice in twenty minutes. So I’m getting baked goods. You can’t buy them somewhere, you gotta make it.
“What do you want?”
“Orange Cranberry Muffins.”
“Ok. Sounds good.”
So while a Baked Goods Knight isn’t exactly as exciting as being a Horny Knight, I’m thinking I could get used to it. Plus I get to game Jennifer a little by showing up with baked goods that some other woman made for me, which is a minor playful ruffle as opposed to confusing credit card receipts and blatant lies about why I was working so late.
Plus I have to chuckle a little thinking about what’s happening as the baked goods are being made back at the other woman’s house….
No Muffin Hubby: “Oooh muffins!”
Other Woman: “Not for you! Hands off!”
No Muffin Hubby: “Why?”
Other Woman: “They’re for… um… the staff meeting.”
No Muffin Hubby: “Awww…” (thinks… hang on, wasn’t that last week? WTF is going on?!?)
So anyway… brought Jennifer up to speed and she loves it. Of course she knows me too well…
Jennifer: “I’m waiting for the line you have…”
Me: “I’m always down to eat another woman’s muffin.”
Jennifer: “Well ‘muffin’ was too easy.”
Me: “That’s why I asked for muffins!”
Jennifer: “Fabulous… just fabulous.”