Red Pill Hope

I get a lot of email, and most of it falls into three basic groups.
The first is some kind of ongoing marital drama that heads toward a positive resolution over time. I love posting those as reader stories to encourage people and validate my all purpose viewpoint and personal awesomeness. Some of these stories go on for months.
The second group are those that are breakdowns. Where things are tried and often I’m forced to point out a huge red flag that basically shows the relationship is untenable and unfixable. Sometimes those issues leak out in posts, but I rarely post a reader story of a break up as it goes down. Kinda cruel. Others… simply find me too late and the wheels are already in motion of the divorce machine. Bleh.
I also get a handful of emails from guys basically saying, “OMG I was going to make a huge mistake, thank you so much about warning me about X or Y. Now I know that I’m really looking for Z.” I do like these as I think who you marry is probably the single greatest choice about how you define your life for the future. So a bad choice avoided is a huge win in my book.
Today, I got what I hope is my first story of a new topic group…
I got wedding photos.
The person in question has posted across a number of blogs and is fairly iidentifiable, so I don’t feel comfortable saying the name. Essentially though he’s been questioning the worth and value of getting married for about a year now. It’s been a long process and we’ve emailed a number of times. He got engaged a few months back and has been doing a lot of what I say with his fiance and liked the results.
Can bad things happen to you as a man if you marry? Absolutely. Very bad things indeed. But getting married isn’t like being sentenced to Death Row either. With skill, confidence and strength, a lifetime of happiness with the right woman isn’t impossible… it may even be likely.
So reading this blog (and others) has made my friend smarter, more confident and stronger about getting into a marriage. I’ve looked at the photos several times today. He did ask me not to post them – he would be instantly identified – but I’m so overjoyed to see them. It’s one of my proudest moments since I started writing. I wish them both the very best together.
Embers of love may burst back into flame.
Survive what you must.
Choose wisely or not at all.
Face the future with reasonable hope.
All the Red Pill does is give you knowledge. You can choose to be made strong or fearful for taking it.


  1. gamingmywife says:

    Fantastic story! My best wishes to the newlyweds.

  2. HeadedForFiftyMyself says:

    Thanks for posting this. I love the happy endings. Or at least the happy beginnings.

  3. Nice. I kind of had the classic H.G.Wells Time Machine paradox when it comes to game. Always an AFC, I got divorced in my 40's and ended up back on the dating market, where after some painful singles-bar experiences, I one time left a group of friends at one party to go to a different party on my motorcycle with the intent of meeting women, but a female married friend ended up tagging along (I think she was bored in her relationship).

    So the new party was kind of a quiet nerdy affair, and we blew onto the scene like a couple of crashers, with me having what I now recognize as social proof (but what I thought of at the time as a handicap) and a healthy dose of liquid confidence carrying over from the other party. Despite (because of?) that I was able to meet a wonderful woman who was under the mistaken first impression that I was some kind of bad boy. She used to date bad boys when she was younger. As we got to know each other better, I started looking into this whole bad boy thing, because I was curious about the appeal it had etc. Hence game. If I had discovered game sooner, I might not have got divorced. But if I had never got divorced, I never would have discovered game.

    In any case, I'm now remarried and happier than I've ever been in my life, and not worried at all that this will in any way resemble my prior experience, and I think my kids respect me more too.

  4. Athol Kay says:

    Ah crap! Elhaf you reminded me I get a whole other set of email – the "I wish I found this sooner because I wouldn't be divorced" ones.

    But yes I can totally get your story.

  5. Anonymous says:

    No lost irony in your posting this above "Batshit Crazy: With a Hammer".

  6. Athol Kay says:

    I think "Choose wisely or not at all" explains it Anon.

    BPD only affects about 2% of all women at the very most.

  7. Anonymous says:

    three days no new posts! D:

  8. Athol Kay says:

    Book almost done though Anon. Taking about 4-5 hours of work a day.

  9. No 1 rule: Be the man – always. Fight the urge to be anything other. Your woman has girl friends, she wants a man. Watch old movies with Carry Grant for style and wit, Clint Eastwood for strength and macho. Be Rhet Butler and watch the girls swoon.

    BTW, Ever notice that when married women talk with their single girlfriends the first thing they ask is whether the guy is good looking?

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