The Highlight Reel Isn’t Magic

When I was 10 or 11, I read “The Hite Report”, my first book about sex.
I didn’t have a single date in high school.
When I was 18 I met this fabulous girl, she was 14, so I passed.
The same thing happened a few months later with a different girl.
I didn’t have a single date in my first year of college.
My best friend asked a girl I desperately wanted out before I did.
I watched them date for a year before they split, she wouldn’t date me
Buy Me!


  1. That was hardcore. Can't wait to read the book.

  2. frustrated househusband says:

    What an amazing story

  3. Anonymous says:

    great post – Thanks!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for letting us into your and Jenn's inner circle for a glimpse of the journey a real love can take. I have always wondered how you learned some of the things you impart so well, and sharing your experiences so honestly just gives you that much more credibility. For those of us who want what you have, it doesn't seem so far out of reach once we know where you and Jenn have come from.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I thought I had been through a lot of crap with my wife just coming out of an affair, but my journey is nothing like yours! Thanks for sharing. Can't wait to read the book!

  6. *Applauds* Well spoken.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Best. F****ing. Post. Ever.

  8. What strikes me most in this post is the way that it refutes the tired cliche too often encountered in the "manosphere"-the rock vs. the storm. The man is supposedly the rock of the relationship; he remains calm and steadfast in the face of his wife's stormy emotions. In Athol's case, he seems to be the more emotional, impulsive stormy partner while Jennifer is the calm, grounded rock of the relationship. Athol seems to veer about rather dramatically; from religious to atheist, from one career path to another, from would-be swinger to defender of monagamy. Meanwhile, Jennifer remains steadfast in the face of all this upheaval.
    Athol, I must say you were quite fortunate to marry such a rock as Jennifer;impulsive/less stable types really need someone to ground them to mundane reality. Just think of all the dubious theories (swinging would be great for our marriage, honey!)she's probably dissuaded you of over the years LOL.In all seriousness, if you had married someone with a personality more like your own you'd probably be divorced today. There is good reason for the rock and the storm to marry but the man can play either role (over a long marrige he may be both at different times).

  9. Anonymous says:

    Athol, thanks for the post. One of the great posts that I have read. Honest. Waiting for your book. KC.

  10. Athol Kay says:

    Cameron – Without me, Jennifer would have had a very dull life. She does need me as much as I need her.

    There is a balance between us. It's just a dynamic one.

    And yes, quite probably divorced if I had married anyone else.

  11. Athol this post should be the opening chapter of your book – verbatim.

  12. Athol Kay says:

    J – ugh, I'm not sure about that.

    What works on a blog post, doesn't always work in a book.

  13. Great post.

  14. piterburg says:

    What a story – thanks for sharing!

    Looks like with this blog and the book you've found your real calling. Looking forward to reading the book.

  15. Beautiful, man. It really lets you know that there's no such thing as the perfect marriage and every couple has its own trials and tribulations behind closed doors. I've only been married a couple of years, but there have been times where I guess I thought it should be on "auto-pilot" and notice other smiling couples who on the outside looking in, you'd guess they had the "perfect" marriage. Everyone goes through their own shit, and it's refreshing to see a post as honest as this one was.

  16. Oh my. This was beautiful and very moving.

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