…and what about post-coital dripping, I’m not sure if you talked about that already, I’ve read about using baby wipes. I’m a man so this would not directly deal with me, but still wanted to know.
I was also curious how you deal with dragon breath in case you (or she) wants to cuddle in the morning after waking up. I guess the best way would be to cuddle with your mouth closed.
Along the same lines, what about crapping in the bathroom and the spouse needing to go right after?
I think most couples stop caring about these things and consider it small stuff, but I also think making an effort in these aspects is still making some effort nonetheless.
As a warning through, if you are setting up a bachelor pad, just go for a box of Kleenex somewhere in the bedroom. No woman is going to shove a random washcloth into her crotch.
Dragon Breath is dealt with by getting up out of bed, brushing your teeth, peeing, and then climbing back into bed and snuggling. You can encourage her to do the same, and see if you can turn the snuggling into something… more.
In the end though, having sex and living together is always going to have an element of gross attached to it. Sex is dirty with sweat, saliva, semen and other stuff spreading around and splattering. We have bodies and all sorts of weird stuff periodically blows it’s way out of them. Heck I’ve watched my wife give birth twice, and I can assure you that trumps anything I’ve seen her do in a bedroom or bathroom.You just have to have a sense of humor about it all when it happens and enjoy the moment as much as possible.
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Having lived in asia for many years, asians have the best approach to the dirty ass problem, water and your hand… it's like when you eat a meal, would you just wipe the plate and put it back? No, you'd wash that thing…
And then wash the hand with soap. That's an important step, for those who might read the previous comment and cringe.
When you stink up the bathroom, light a match afterwards. Drop it in the toilet afterwards (not the trash, for safety).
Learned this trick from my grandpa. Fire = alpha. Caring about how your house smells = beta.
As to the actual science behind it, fart/shit smell stems primarily from hydrogen sulfide and methane. Yes, both are flammable – even explosive – but only a small portion of it burns when you light a single match. Instead, the "match smell" binds to the primary sulphuric olfactory receptors and prevents you from smelling the rest.
As for the "Dragon Breath"(love the expression
), it´s main source is the absence of normal saliva coating in your mouth cavity during the night, thus leading to increased rotting/fermentation of microscopic and often not so microscopic food residue on/between teeth.
Wonder-cure: clean out those pockets in between teeth and then brush BEFORE going to sleep!
That´s for normal healthy people. If your tongue looks like a platoon of snails creeped over it then go see a doc and get a tongue scraper (aka spoon
).
I second Hans'suggestion. For thorough teeth cleaning in the evening before bed I suggest brushing, flossing and using a dental irrigator with dilute hydrogen peroxide. This should work for teeth/gums with tricky nooks and grannies.
That said, I usually sneak out of bed in the morning to brush my teeth while HE prefers to just start something before anybody really wakes up properly!
Seriously, do people not know about these:
http://www.amazon.com/Kleenex-Cottonelle-Fresh-Flushable-Moist/dp/B002ABKFCA/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1303914563&sr=1-1
Formulated specifically for touching your undercarriage. And unlike real baby wipes, they're flushable.
Solves the post-sex cleanup and stinky ass problem. We have them in every bathroom in the house. To do otherwise is uncivilized.
Maybe I've been married too long but all of these things are easily dealt with in a common normal manner. If you come home from the club/workout/whatever with your wife sweaty and gross pull her into the shower. If your breath stinks brush your teeth (and yea, if it is a constant problem google it and do the right thing). If you need to take a big dump, do it. Be silently kind and minimize the impact on the other person. Having gas in bed is going to happen. But I mean, you are both going to be dealing with the others crotch in various ways. Be cool and yea, you are going to break wind on her leg sooner or later. She will say "Ewwww" and cuddle back into you. She has seen/done grosser things and your are a gross guy.
I was initially going to say "Be Alpha, Take your the space that is your own". But honestly, this is just about common sense.
There is a product at the grocery that comes in a tiny bottle. You put one drop in the toilet bowl and then go about using the facilities without leaving odor. We also keep bathroom spray in each bathroom and bring a canister along on trips (not on an airplane).
You can also use Beano before eating if you know certain foods or drink will cause gas problems.
As to drippage of semen,I am kinky I guess,but I actually like the reminder of being filled with as much as possible of his sex juice. Having the sheets or my clothing dripping with it is a yummy wet memory.
I've lived with my boyfriend for just over a year now. We've gotten used to each others smells. You just have to realize people are human and… well, less than perfect. I've even come to like the closeness of those less-than-pleasant things like morning breath or smelly socks because it reminds me that my partner is comfortable around me. Now, in excess I would be disturbed… but we're courteous. I agree on the tissues issue. Even having some by the bed could be nice. Generally I just get up and use the bathroom and then throw on some underwear and things take care of themselves. Having tissues to wipe up with though, is a definite plus. It would make me feel more comfortable in a new place.
Oh, and candles or some other form of scent in the bathroom can go a long way.
Do people not know how to live in close proximity anymore?
This question and all the blogs and columns, stories and what-have-you all exist because the Western World has lost the ability to deal with other flesh and blood humans.
God(if such a thing exists)help us all.
Sean
you sir are an Inspiration (however everyone lit candles while Inspiring, and, like bill, did not inhale)
yr blog photo 'Surveys His Realm' likewse, inspiring
we stand back (a vaporfree distance) in awe!
ray
oops it looks like you just got famous how about that
dont forget us Little People!
ray