Girl Game: Fake Ovulation With Lipstick and Cleavage

The most important thing to understand about men’s interest in women, is that from an Alpha = Attraction = Dopamine standpoint, it’s almost entirely a visual experience. Men have a decent sized part of their brains hardwired to assess nearby women for their beauty, perceived fertility, high sex drive and suspected ovulation.
Men don’t just look at women; men assess them visually as potential mates. If a man looks at a woman and sees a woman exhibiting beauty, fertility and who is possibly/probably ovulating, his body gives him a shot of dopamine as a behavioral reward/incentive to do something about it and get over there and make a move on her.
The longer he looks at her, the more of a dopamine shot he’ll get. It’s positively addictive to men look at highly attractive women. That dopamine surge is why they stare at you so much. It’s an amazing and heady experience looking at a truly beautiful woman in her prime.
Have a look at this clip…
You should get the sense that he can’t not look at her. The whole time he’s in class he knows she’s right behind him… and he has to look at her.
She’s beautiful and young, so those are two great markers for her ability to have a full term pregnancy and a healthy baby.
She has long and good hair. That’s a great marker for overall health. It essentially says “I’ve had good nutrition for the last four years and no significant illnesses.
Her skin is good. Yes she has make up on her face, but her neck, arms and boobs are all showing good skin quality. That’s another health marker. Remembering of course that anything that marks good physical health is sexy. (Pages 15 and 16 in The Primer cover the full range of “what is sexy”)
She also has nicely rounded breasts which are yet another marker of health and fertility.
Most importantly though, she looks like she’s possibly ovulating by two key female tricks of the trade. The first is lipstick. When women ovulate their lips turn a brighter shade of color, so whether she is ovulating or not is irrelivant as she covers her lips with a fairly vivid display of sexual signaling. The male looking at her is completely fooled on a biological level. Intellectually he knows she’s wearing lipstick to look better. His Body Agenda just figures she’s ovulating so it dumps a load of dopamine into his system to make him want to go over there and tear her clothes off.
The second trick of the trade is showing off her cleavage. When women ovulate they typically start showing off more skin in order to attract male interest. If a woman usually wears turtlenecks suddenly wears cleavage barring tops for two days and then reverts to turtlenecks… well duh… she just just ovulated. So anyway, hot babe in the clip has a low cut top and a good bra. So once again the male looking can intellectually think, “she’s wearing that to look attractive”, but his Body Agenda just assumes she’s ovulating and has perky, healthy symbols of baby making abiltity on her chest…
…so release the dopamine!
Now all this is just common sense. Lipstick and cleavage, everyone knows that right? Well yes and no. What’s not understood is the uncontrollable nature of attraction; as long as you simply have boobs, your husband is going to be far more attracted to you if you show off cleavage than if you don’t. He can’t help it.
A little bit of lipstick goes a long way as well. But then you knew that already.
So why do you go our to your job wearing lipstick and nice tops… and come home to your husband, wipe off the lipstick and put on a sweatshirt? How’s that working out for you?
I had to cover this angle with Jennifer a couple years back. Literally demanded that she start wearing at least occassionally cleavage baring tops with me around. As confusing as it may sound, it’s actually stoothing to me to get to see legally sanctioned cleavage to stare at. Jennifer didn’t get it at first, but now she purposely poses or leans forward for me to get a better look. It’s playful and fun for us.
What’s interesting is that her cleavage is better for attracting me than her naked breasts are. I suspect the bra lifting them up etc signals better youth and my brain is simply fooled by it on a primal level. Though that’s not to say I ever turn her naked breasts down. Especially if I’m tied up and she puts one in my mouth.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Décolletage: The Spearhead posters complain quite viciously about women flaunting "boobs in their faces" and consider it extreme sexual harassment. I suppose it could be that. What do "normal" men think? Personally, I don't think it's appropriate workplace attire, but I'm on the conservative end of the dressing scale.

    Don't recall ever doing the skimpy top/egg releasing gambit but I always hated the boys staring, maybe my body agenda was telling me to keep 'em covered!

  2. IMHO, the spearhead posters really do hate women, and want to be done with them. What I don't understand is, if you still hate her why did you divorce her? Anyway, I appreciate a good dose of cleavage wherever it comes from. But then I have a "normal" level of self-control and don't find it necessary to jump on every impulse that flits through my brain.

  3. The Mrs. says:

    @ATHOL:

    I've had a question for you that might tie in with this post. Ever heard someone say that "a woman of her age shouldn't be doing/wearing/saying [blank]"? Do men evaluate women that way?

    Say a woman in her 30s or 40s tries this lipstick and cleavage thing…and she has a nice body, has aged well, etc. Is that appropriate, assuming she's trying to attract the attention of appropriate-aged men, or is she just "trying too hard"?

    What about mothers? Seems to be that as soon as a woman has a child, she's supposed to go into ultra-conservative mode. I understand wanting to set a good example for your daughters, but it sometimes seems that "mom showing a little cleavage" = "encouraging her daughters to be whores."

    From a male standpoint, is there an age when a woman using her beauty like this is simply past her expiration date?

  4. Anonymous says:

    If you're small through the top and "cleavage" isn't really an option… still a good idea to wear a low cut top (emphasizing what's not there)? And… he has a habit of playfully grabbing me when he walks by, is wearing something padded/push-up better or worse than being more touchable? Thanks for doing the series Athol!

  5. Anonymous says:

    So this is why my husband off-handedly asked me last week why I never wear lipstick and wanted to buy me some… :)

  6. Athol Kay says:

    Anon – if you aren't interested in the man, then you won't enjoy him looking at you like that no.

    The Mrs. – In general my context is marriage, so if you're going to simply "give up and cover it all up", then your husband is going to lose sexual interest in you.

    Is covering it all up and becoming a sexless wife really a good example for a daughter? Obviously having an enjoyable sexual relationship with her husband is the ideal behavior to model. I'm not saying do it in front of the kids here, just be expressive about it. Why on earth would you hide your enjoyment of each other from your children?

    Anon 3:00 – yes I would display skin. If he's grabbing you then it's working fine, don't mess with it. Lean into him and rub his cock through his pants and try and escape from him… just don't try too hard :-D

  7. Athol Kay says:

    Anon 7:31 – I would take that as a very clear hint of what he wants. A very, very, very clear hint.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Simple question here: at what age should a woman STOP wearing cleavage revealing tops in public? 40-50-60? (assuming she "looks good for her age"). Cougars are generally held up to ridicule by men, correct?

    It does seem a bit silly to come home from am exhausting day at work and put on the "sexy costume." Especially when one has to prepare dinner and then usually do a couple hours of grubby housework.

    First Anonymous

  9. Athol Kay says:

    Cougars aren't typically the married type are they?

    Unless your breasts are utterly terrible beyond all reason, showing some cleavage around your husband will be regarded by him as a positive thing and attract him more than it would.

    If you want a rule about what age to stop… stop when the men stop looking at your cleavage. If they look, it's still working.

  10. The Mrs. says:

    >>>"If you want a rule about what age to stop… stop when the men stop looking at your cleavage. If they look, it's still working."

    That's what I was looking for. Of course I want my HUSBAND to be the one paying me attention, but I was trying to figure out the female version of the MAP. You know, that whole 'make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex in general' thing.

    Then if other guys are looking but my husband isn't, maybe it's a giveaway there's a deeper issue?

  11. Jack Amok says:

    I've had a question for you that might tie in with this post. Ever heard someone say that "a woman of her age shouldn't be doing/wearing/saying [blank]"? Do men evaluate women that way?

    Men don't judge a woman's character by what she's wearing, we judge it by what she's trying to do. So context matters a lot.

    Men assume a woman wearing sexy clothes is trying to attract the attention of someone, the question is who. If it's someone appropriate, no problem. Women are only judged poorly if they're trying to attract the attenion of someone inappropriate.

    If she's trying to attract the attention of her husband, most men will judge her as an awesome wife, no matter what her age. If she's trying to attract the attention of someone she's not married to, well, if it's someone of an appropriate age for her – in an appropriate situation, then no problem. If she's 45 and trying to catch the eye of a 25 year old, men will probably think she's foolish or desperate. If she's trying to attract the attention of someone else's husband, she's clearly a homewrecker and trouble in heels. If she doesn't seem to care who she attracts and is beyond the age where she should have already found a mate, she'll likely come across as a slut.

    So if you're married, my advice is dress sexy for your husband, and tone it down a bit for everybody else.

    Then if other guys are looking but my husband isn't, maybe it's a giveaway there's a deeper issue?

    Dunno, could be your husband thinks he's not supposed to look. Try making it really, REALLY obvious you want him looking at your boobs. Like lean over and use your hands to stick them in his face and say something like "Hey sailor, looking for a good time?"

  12. Athol Kay says:

    Possibly The Mrs, I don't know enough of you specific situation to know though. Email me the full story and I'll take a crack at it.

    In general though it's probably a Sex Rank thing. The cleavage thing is just one of many little things making up your appearance/presentation of yourself.

  13. Athol Kay says:

    Nice reply Jack as well.

  14. 3pm Anon, as long as hers are bigger than mine, I'll appreciate her using 'em against me.
    I get the sense a lot of women have trouble letting go of the herd conformity instinct. It served you well when you were single & dependent on the whole social group to provide for you, but if you're paired off that's your man's job & why you paired off with him. You're not married to men, you're married to *a* man. Opinons from anyone & everyone else are kinda irrelevant, not to denigrate our host in any way. Attention from other men also doesn't work the same way him getting attention from other women does, so be careful with that.
    Tech aside: Athol, the US Navy considers your blog porn, so I'm reading on my phone. Firefox mobile insists on jumping to the start of the page after every letter I type in comments. Obviously I'm not using Firefox mobile to comment anymore, but if there's anything in your error logs around 0430 Universal that would hint at a fix I'd appreciate you tweaking something.

  15. The lipstick thing… I dunno. For me, it might catch my immediate attention, but once I consciously survey that "her lips aren't really that color/tone/shiny/wet" there is an immediate reduction in attraction, similar to what Athol describes happening when the cute long haired girl lops off her hair. When I was a teenager I took this girl I really liked, who was very hot, on a date and about half way through the evening some of her lipstick got smudged on her front incisor tooth and remained there for the rest of the night. Something about that evening forever ruined lipstick on women for me.

    Now cleavage, yes, cleavage is always hot. My only admonition here for a woman would be to know how your husband feels about displaying major cleavage in public. For me personally, I'm not bothered when I see a guy chatting up my wife or even flirting with her a little, because I know I can beat him at that game every time, and it sort of serves to keep me sharp and attentive… but when I catch a guy undressing my wife with his eyes, I get an adrenaline rush and my chest bows out a bit and my focus goes from trying to 'outplay' him, to contructing various ways in which I'd like to break his kneecaps… which isn't really fun for me. As such, if we are going to be at a social function where we are mixing it up with a lot of people, I like it when my wife dresses a bit more conservatively. If we are going out to dinner together, or doing something where our focus is primarily on eachother, then yes, bring on the cleavage. But I also know men who like it when other guys gape at their wives/girlfriends, so really what it comes down to, if a woman is dressing for her man, she should know his preferences.

  16. Charles says:

    Ye gods, I am such a nerd. The scene flashes to boobage just as the teacher is saying that the mathematical constant i "doesn't really exist." Despite the boobs, I still cried out in dismay at the nonsense coming out of the mouth of a supposed math teacher. Not that I stopped noticing the boobs.

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