The most important thing to understand about men’s interest in women, is that from an Alpha = Attraction = Dopamine standpoint, it’s almost entirely a visual experience. Men have a decent sized part of their brains hardwired to assess nearby women for their beauty, perceived fertility, high sex drive and suspected ovulation.
Men don’t just look at women; men assess them visually as potential mates. If a man looks at a woman and sees a woman exhibiting beauty, fertility and who is possibly/probably ovulating, his body gives him a shot of dopamine as a behavioral reward/incentive to do something about it and get over there and make a move on her.
The longer he looks at her, the more of a dopamine shot he’ll get. It’s positively addictive to men look at highly attractive women. That dopamine surge is why they stare at you so much. It’s an amazing and heady experience looking at a truly beautiful woman in her prime.
Have a look at this clip…
You should get the sense that he can’t not look at her. The whole time he’s in class he knows she’s right behind him… and he has to look at her.
She’s beautiful and young, so those are two great markers for her ability to have a full term pregnancy and a healthy baby.
She has long and good hair. That’s a great marker for overall health. It essentially says “I’ve had good nutrition for the last four years and no significant illnesses.
Her skin is good. Yes she has make up on her face, but her neck, arms and boobs are all showing good skin quality. That’s another health marker. Remembering of course that anything that marks good physical health is sexy. (Pages 15 and 16 in The Primer cover the full range of “what is sexy”)
She also has nicely rounded breasts which are yet another marker of health and fertility.
Most importantly though, she looks like she’s possibly ovulating by two key female tricks of the trade. The first is lipstick. When women ovulate their lips turn a brighter shade of color, so whether she is ovulating or not is irrelivant as she covers her lips with a fairly vivid display of sexual signaling. The male looking at her is completely fooled on a biological level. Intellectually he knows she’s wearing lipstick to look better. His Body Agenda just figures she’s ovulating so it dumps a load of dopamine into his system to make him want to go over there and tear her clothes off.
The second trick of the trade is showing off her cleavage. When women ovulate they typically start showing off more skin in order to attract male interest. If a woman usually wears turtlenecks suddenly wears cleavage barring tops for two days and then reverts to turtlenecks… well duh… she just just ovulated. So anyway, hot babe in the clip has a low cut top and a good bra. So once again the male looking can intellectually think, “she’s wearing that to look attractive”, but his Body Agenda just assumes she’s ovulating and has perky, healthy symbols of baby making abiltity on her chest…
…so release the dopamine!
Now all this is just common sense. Lipstick and cleavage, everyone knows that right? Well yes and no. What’s not understood is the uncontrollable nature of attraction; as long as you simply have boobs, your husband is going to be far more attracted to you if you show off cleavage than if you don’t. He can’t help it.
A little bit of lipstick goes a long way as well. But then you knew that already.
So why do you go our to your job wearing lipstick and nice tops… and come home to your husband, wipe off the lipstick and put on a sweatshirt? How’s that working out for you?
I had to cover this angle with Jennifer a couple years back. Literally demanded that she start wearing at least occassionally cleavage baring tops with me around. As confusing as it may sound, it’s actually stoothing to me to get to see legally sanctioned cleavage to stare at. Jennifer didn’t get it at first, but now she purposely poses or leans forward for me to get a better look. It’s playful and fun for us.
What’s interesting is that her cleavage is better for attracting me than her naked breasts are. I suspect the bra lifting them up etc signals better youth and my brain is simply fooled by it on a primal level. Though that’s not to say I ever turn her naked breasts down. Especially if I’m tied up and she puts one in my mouth.