Girl Game: Female Sexual Dominance and Cramming Things Into His Ass

April is focusing on the the female side of the equation…
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post “Need Some Questions From The Ladies”:
“Here’s one for you: I want to “peg” my husband. His response: no way.
How can I have my way with him? I want his “man cherry!” I want to experience, in some small way, what sex is like for a man — the dominance element that seems to be such a major part of sex for many men.
Not joking; any helpful advice would be appreciated.”
For those who don’t know – “pegging” is when a woman wears a strap on dildo and penetrates the man’s anus with it. It can be pleasurable for the woman in that the base of the dildo can apply pressure to her clitoris and if it’s a double ended dildo, then it also gives sensations inside her. For the guy it can be pleasurable anally and especially on the prostate.
So I’ll answer this question in two ways, (1) finding a way of getting that feeling of sexual dominance and (2) shoving things up his ass.
If you really just want that feeling of sexual dominance once in a while – to be the one supplying the sexual pounding instead of the one of the receiving end of it – there’s a couple of ways of doing that without cramming things into his ass.
One easy option is to tie him up. Once he’s tied up, you’re pretty much the one that’s dominant and making things happen. Suck him, sit on his face and wriggle a little bit, tease him, kiss him and finally make him cum in a manner of your choosing. Ta-da! Easy dominance.
Another option is a variant on the Cowgirl Position. Do Cowgirl for as long as you like, but then lean forward over him, have him spread his legs apart and put your legs inside his ones. So now you’re in a Gender Reversed Missionary Position. Having your legs together and tensed to support your body weight is going to tighten your vagina on his cock and create a stronger sensation for him. You on top and him under you is you in a dominant position. Then you pound his cock with you vagina.
Jennifer and I do this position once in a while and it really does provide a highly stimulating experience. This is about the only Penis-in-Vagina position where I have no ability to control my orgasm. Me on top, spoons, cowgirl or whatever, I can slow just a little or mentally adjust and not orgasm until I consciously choose to. In this position Jennifer can just fuck me hard and I can’t not cum. So she’s dominant in that position.
So anyway… assuming you actually want to boldly go where no one has gone before, some tips for that.
Start small. I’d start with handjobs that have an element of anal play with them. Using a good amount of lube, have one hand jerk his cock and the other gently play with his anal area. If he likes that a few times, then you can progress to inserting a finger into his ass as you do that. You can use gloves or a condom as a barrier.
For anything going into the ass you need a lot of lubrication. Too much is better than not enough. I would use your middle finger and assuming he is on his back, your finger goes in and gently “up”. You’re looking for his prostate gland and it will feel a little like a small soft bump against the rectal wall. You will know when you hit it right because your husband will probably have his eyes bug out and look at you like he just discovered he had a secret second penis or something.
You can gently stroke and play with the prostate – long nails are a no-no though. You don’t want anything sharp poking at the rectal wall and scraping or puncturing anything. That’s a nasty recovery. Another option here is a small, repeat small, butt plug. Should cost you about $10. Same deal as fingers in the ass, lots of lube. Basically thrust it to try and hit the prostate. It’s good with a hand/blowjob going as well. Most men have huge orgasms from prostate stimulation. Just take it slow.
After that, you can build up his tolerance with a larger butt plug and eventually get up to pegging. That takes a lot of trust though. You’re going to have to make him want that experience by having lots of good anal sexual experience leading up to it.
Jennifer and I have done all of this with the exception of pegging. I loved prostate orgasms when I was early 30′s, but not so much now I’m 40. I think I’m just starting to get nervous about damaging myself in someway, a too firm poke at 30 and nothing much might happen, at 40… ya getting nervous I think.
I do like having my ass played with once I’m turned on and there’s lube involved. We do anal toys once in a while and I handle a small one easily. We tried a medium butt plug on me once and that was just amazingly painful. It was kind of like me fucking Natalie Portman, the fantasy was exciting but there was just no way it was ever going to happen in reality.
Oh and be advised. You peg him, he can quite justifiably demand you put your ass up in the air and he gets your anal cherry too. I suggest you experiment a little on yourself and see exactly how big you can really tolerate in there before you set the hamster wheel in motion.
So have at it. It doesn’t have to be man on top every single time. Try stuff out together, if it works, it works. If it doesn’t work and it was anal, go easy on the spicy food for a day or two. Anyway… if she doesn’t get her kink on with you, who can she get it on with? Her memories of band camp will only sustain her for so long…
As an aside, anal prosthetics sales are an exciting growth area in the medical field. It’s quite possible to seriously damage yourself with anal sex, so be careful with it. Please don’t make me link anal prolapse accident porn from the nastiest places on the Internet. Nobody wants that.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hmm.

    This is something I've been thinking about awhile, and I'd like your thoughts on if you have any and when you can spend the time.

    How does game apply when the relationship is a "femdom" one? Mind you, I'm not talking merely play activities, I mean relationships where it's women Captain /male First Mate or something like that?

    Clarence

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh interesting I was curious about anal sex and I offered it to my husband he wasn't enthusiastic about it, but he decided to try that method, he inserted a finger once in me and all I was thinking of is…"I need to make him wash that finger, it most smell horrible". That pretty much killed the fantasy. I mean if he ever wants to I probably try, but I will have damp cloths nearby…too distracting.
    S.R.

  3. Anonymous says:

    If anyone ever tried to put anything in my ass they'd wake up in a hospital a couple of years later.

    If my girlfriend said anything about wanting to put a strap on up my ass she'd be looking for a new man immediately.

    And even if some latently homosexual dude let his "beard" put something in his ass,the woman would probably feel disgusted by his acquiescence and never be able to get wet for him again imagining what a huge faggot he is for allowing her to stick something up his ass.

    Thank you very much, I just threw up my bacon and eggs.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I also wanted to add that if a woman wanted to engage in a homosexual act to "dominate" someone, you COULD advise her to engage in the homosexuality with another woman rather than giving her advice on how to sodomize an unwilling man. Seeing as how it was SHE who wanted the homosexuality in the first place,and not him, it seems the most sensible thing to do would be to answer any one of the thousands of ads on craigslist for women who WANT to have something shoved up their ass and be "dominated" by another woman,not to force a man to engage in some homosexual shit that he is probably uncomfortable in the EXTREME with.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Pretty sick stuff. Peg your husband?? A woman who does not get off from being deeply penetrated (vaginally) by her husband, has a problem..

    It's the best thing ever.. Over the couch does it for me… Multiple orgasms too.. ;)

  6. Anonymous says:

    Well that uh prolapse pic… that was too much. If that doesn't kill the mood and any fantasy dead I don't know what would.
    I personally wouldn't want to be with a woman who wanted to risk making my ass look like that.

  7. Thag Jones says:

    And if he baulks at you playing with his anus, you should probably try to do something about this "idea" of yours before it becomes an obsession. He has told you he isn't interested; a lot of men are not interested in anal sex, unsurprisingly. If the shoe was on the other foot, imagine how offended you would be if he tried to do it with you anyway. RAAAYYYPE!!!

  8. Thag Jones says:

    Ugh, that anal prolapse pic… That's what happens when you misuse your body. The anus is not designed to be pounded with large objects, duh.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Um, coming from the other side of this… my man wants me to try anal stuff, and like Anon 12:54, I worry about the smell. Gloves and condoms sound like a must with this. He tried some simple play without it, and I was really squirrelly about it.

    I can see the cherry attraction. I admit to his play arousing me more, when already aroused. But, I think this needs much more discussion, because the fear of injury and infection is overwhelming.

  10. The Mrs. says:

    You can also get close to the prostate by massaging the area between the back of his scrotum and his anus. It's a little less invasive than going straight for the goal all at once, and still feels good. Might help him get used to the sensation.

    And gloves are a good idea, for sure. Plain old rubber ones that you'd use for hair color are sufficient. Just make sure you still lube the finger you're using.

  11. Jack Amok says:

    If anyone ever tried to put anything in my ass they'd wake up in a hospital a couple of years later.

    If my girlfriend said anything about wanting to put a strap on up my ass she'd be looking for a new man immediately.

    And even if some latently homosexual dude let his "beard" put something in his ass,the woman would probably feel disgusted by his acquiescence and never be able to get wet for him again imagining what a huge faggot he is for allowing her to stick something up his ass.

    Thank you very much, I just threw up my bacon and eggs.

    Put something into your ass? Hell, you're so uptight, I wonder if you ever let anything out of it. Maybe that's why you threw up your bacon and eggs – only way out of your digestive tract.

    Then again, nobody said anything about craming a dildo past your sacred sphincter, so what's with all the bluster? I'm not particularly interested in it either, but hey, if it floats someone else's boat. You think guys who enjoy blowjobs from their wives are gay too?

  12. Anonymous says:

    http://www.expressmilwaukee.com/article-9590-a-beginners-guide-to-pegging.html
    Need to wash inside and out.
    Go slowwww and lots of lube, imagine the sphincter is the clitoris. The guy needs to be aroused before there can be any enjoyment.
    Kudo's to Amok

    Boombacca

  13. Anonymous says:

    I don't have a strong desire to "peg" my husband but if he wanted it I'd figure out a way to get into it for his sake.

  14. Athol Kay says:

    It's not freaking gay to enjoy anal sex giving or receiving with a woman. It's gay to do it with another dude. Oy, why does that need to be explained?

    It's not for everyone, no one has to do it.

  15. Novaseeker says:

    It's not freaking gay to enjoy anal sex giving or receiving with a woman. It's gay to do it with another dude. Oy, why does that need to be explained?

    Because it simulates a gay sex act.

    You talk a lot about natural things men and women want because of their maleness and femaleness, which makes sense. Most men who want to be "pegged" are gay. It is not a "natural" sex act between men and women because women do not have a penis. It simulates the typical male homosexual sex act. There are gay "bottoms" who aren't attracted to men that much but like being "pegged" by them because of the act, and because it is much easier to obtain this act from men than it is from women.

    It's a desire for gay sex, even if it isn't a desire for men, per se. Kind of like the guys who are attracted to trannies.

  16. Oral sex with a woman simulates a (female) gay sex act too. I suppose you're going to say that's gay? Or are you of the idiotic opinion that your woman going gay poses no threat to your relationship?

  17. `merican prudishness, legen-wait4it-DARY!

    ;)

  18. Novaseeker is Orthodox, and if the Orthodox Church has proscriptions like the Catholic Church, the pegging act would definitely not qualify as a legitimate sexual activity. It has to be both unitive and procreative. You can't do stuff that can't make a baby, in other words. Essentially, this is a religious proscription against making sex into just athletics; it is and should be a reproductive act, even which it doesn't result in children.

    Oral sex is not a lesbian act, it's just one of the only things lesbians can do without using outside hardware.

    You can call all this outdated or prudish, but it's not like the biggest challenge America faces is a excess of prudishness.

  19. Good advice. It's true that men have the prostate arousal, but the anus in general isn't usually particularly pleasurable for anyone. Proceed with caution; if he doesn't wanna, he doesn't wanna.

    Jennifer 6

  20. To the woman who not particularly desiring to peg her husband would be nevertheless be willing to make it happen for him if he wanted it – you’re awesome! All wives (and husbands) should be as GGG as that.

    Unreal, all the homophobia. It happens to be God’s sense of humor to locate a man’s p-spot up his ass. And it feels great whether you stimulate it yourself or have the great good fortune of having a partner to stimulate it for you.

    Your sexuality is not determined by how you like to be stimulated, but who you want to be stimulated by. End of story.

  21. Great article, and what a wide selection of comments. To those fellas who are adamantly opposed to this, I can only offer my pity. You’ve no idea how intense a climax you’re missing. The men I’ve been with have been open-minded enough to let me rim and finger them to bliss. A prostate is a beautiful thing. So many of those I’ve pegged have all adored it and begged for more. To those men and women who reference the smell and mess, I would encourage you to learn about how a simple enema can make you squeaky clean. Shame on all the homophobes. And hugs and kisses to Tom, Jack Amok, Boombacca and the Anonymous poster on April 12, 2011 at 12:39 am.

  22. It is not homophobic to say that if a man wants Gay sex, he should go do that with a man instead of sexually/emotionally coercing a woman to wear a penis and shag him in the butt. It is very pro Gay to say that men should be comfortable enough and honest enough with themselves not to drag a woman into their Gay sex, and that women who try to pressure their husbands into Gay sex are emotional abusers.

    This is not about what kind of sex one likes to have. This is about how one goes about getting it. A way that means trampling on one’s partner’s emotions and gender identity, how ever fixed or fluid, is simply wrong.

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