I think we (girls) all know to some degree that padded, underwire bras are false advertising. They’re fine when you’re trying to look good for work, but they can also be a barrier to fun! Yup, the first objection to giving up the padding and underwires is that very few of us have perfectly round breasts. Duh! How many women realize that unless it’s fake, most boobs aren’t perfectly round? Not many.
Okay, I don’t like the shape of my ta tas, either, but I tried an experiment. I bought a bra that was not much more than some stretch lace. Yup, it took a lot of guts to wear it. But, when my man reached up my shirt and found that he could actually fondle my nipples without moving the stiff contraption I usually wear. Um, wow. What a difference for both of us! Now I’m faced with a challenge. Please the fashion gods or please my man? As an avid reader, it’s a no-brainer. But, for the less-initiated, that’s going to be a little harder. My man has become more vocal every time he encounters the non-padded bras (bralets!) that I can’t *not* pursue this! He very rarely voices an opinion on stuff that I wear, so I’m running with it. I’ve begun shopping for non-padded, no-underwire bras that still look good. I’m seeing this as an exercise in self-improvement. It’s an adventure, but I’m finding some good examples out there:
American Apparel has the stretch lace number that’s cheap and a great buy to experiment and see how it goes. (My first purchase)
Hanky Panky is more expensive than American Apparel, and seems to look better on those with a B cup or greater.
Eberjey stuff is really pretty and makes me feel very feminine. They do still offer underwire numbers, but no Victoria’s Secret uber-padding. (My second purchase)
Cosabella is another brand available on Zappos.com that has pieces similar to Eberjey, which are very feminine and still look good.
I had to share this because after my first American Apparel purchase, I went to all the big department stores and found nothing but serious padding and underwires. They’ve even developed a “no-wire underwire.” But it’s still a contraption that needs to be unlocked and disassembled before any skin contact can be made. As I wandered the lingerie departments, I wondered where the men’s voice was in all this. Based on my experience so far with MMSL, the prevailing voice in lingerie design is for the “look but don’t touch” crowd. I think it’s important for the MMSL women to know that they _can_ find feminine, pretty and flattering bras that make them easy prey for their men.
And we’re baaaaccckkkkk…
I have no firm uplifting policy on bras, other than you make a conscious choice about them and seek input from your husband about what turns him on. Plus breasts come in all sizes so hard and fast rules aren’t really possible here anyway.
Just ask him what he likes, if your goal is to turn him on and hold his attention, you have to calibrate to him. Go shopping together and figure it out together. You may end up with a mix of everyday “these are really comfortable” and some “this is for playtime”. It may be as simple as his true color preference – half of Jennifer’s bras are pink, because I love pink. How easy is that as a husband pleasing and attention pulling move?
The mega padded bras are a disappointment when a date peels them off for the first time, but with a wife it’s different – it’s not like you haven’t seen the goods before. Jennifer has one very padded bra that she wears once in a while, but it’s almost approaching a sex toy level. Compared to going under the knife for a boob job, I’ll take her going Bra-zilla any day.
In truth though, I’m very twitchy about bras with Jennifer. The bad mammogram x2 and biopsy x2 experiences left scars on both of us. My #1 priority with her bras is that she is comfortable and… alive.
I might have raised my voice at her once or twice that she spend more money on bra replacement.